Healing Sexual Wounding and Divorce
I’ve been working with someone for the past few months and the issue around old partners who walked in with other lovers have come up, feelings of rejection, feelings of secrecy, abandonment, and being alone. When you’re going through a divorce, there may be A LOT of layers that come up around your ex-lover. There may be feelings of loss, rejection, abandonment, fears and a deep loneliness that shows up.
If your ex was very secretive and there was little communication about how he or she lived their life, and they put up walls of protection to keep you from knowing who they really were, then they may feel rejected, lied to, unloved, unsupported and mis-understood. All of these layers can take weeks and sometimes months to unravel and work through.
Be honest about how you feel. Ask your partner to be honest about how he or she feels. In order to build trust with someone new, you have to let go of the layers with the old.
There is no rushing the process. However, you feel in each moment is important to process. If you have a partner, a beloved, a lover, or a therapist to process these feelings with, it is crucial to get the help to release these deep seated feelings. Eventually they will leave, release, and you will feel more whole than you ever had before. Please be patient with yourself. Once you’ve opened the flood gates, there’s no going back, but the journey to get to the other side is not an easy one. Have patience on yourself and on the ones you love!
When I say Dominance and Submission, I’m not exactly talking about sex, or BDSM. That comes later; much later! I’m talking about behaviors that are overbearing, dominant personalities, and being in Relationship and communication with someone who overpowers you, thinks they are the only one in control, and don’t let you get a word in. I’m talking about people that dominate to the point that your feelings don’t even matter.
I’m also talking about people in relationship who are dominant types, who take leadership to a place of love, compassion, and can direct others with kindness, and surrender when their partner wants to speak, and have a turn to share in conversation; ones feelings, needs, desires, wants and expressions. So there’s Dominance from a lower vibration and angry place, and there’s dominance from a higher vibration, from a place of love, the heart, and leading with integrated power!
This is in fact a very BIG subject, and one that deserves a lot of conversation and discussion. And is something in fact I may have a live talk about in one of my presentations, more articles and a book on this topic. But here now, I want to point out that 1. people can choose to use their powerful personalities to manage, control, and manipulate those around them, or try to, and 2. people can choose to use their powerful personalities to lead others into surrender, to feel safe, to open their hearts even deeper and use grace and love!
It takes a very strong person, and very balanced person to lead with love, and it does not come overnight. This ability takes work and years of self reflection, personal development and transformation of ones identity and ego. It takes going down the rabbit hole to the pit of ones fear, ones rage, ones despair, shame and sadness, and transform at the depth and core of ones psyche, over and over again, and come out feeling compassion, overjoyed with love, appreciation, acceptance, and humbleness!
These are two separate topics here: Dominance and Force, and Dominance and Love!
Dominance and Force has side effects of feeling overpowered, hurt, blamed, degraded, abused, feelings neglected, feelings of hurt, repression, lacking empathy, kindness or understanding. Often the people in these roles are Narcissistic, mentally ill, have unresolved childhood traumas, may have a psychological or mental imbalance, may be alcoholic or drug addicted, they may be Avoidant Personality types or Anxious Attachment types that have not done their deeper work and process work of being humble, kind, an inability to be submissive. They may have unresolved issues with their parents, have hidden and repressed feelings of rape or feeling violated, either emotionally, mentally, psychically or physically. They just may not have not done enough of their own healing to be willing to let go of control.
Dominance and Love is not exactly the same as Dominance and Submission. Dominance and Love has to do with having the ability to be a leader, teaching others to understand something, leading them through something, but then also the willingness to surrender and let go of control when the person learning, receiving and being submissive feels the need to respond, react, or has emotions and feelings they wish to share in the moment of their learning from the dominant person. When the submissive feels safe, heard and lead through something in a powerful, clear, and yet loved way, it allows the receiver to feel able to surrender to what the leader/dominant is offering/teaching/coaching/or sharing. In any case, when a submissive feels safe, they can go deeper into surrendering in the moment. This is only possible when the leader is dominating and leading from the heart, with love, grace, ease and kindness.
Dominance and Submission is more about the entire concept. There are roles that a Dominant falls into, in the scenario where one is leading another (which can be teacher, healer, lover, coach, etc). And there are roles that a Submissive falls into, which can only be done when the person who is Dominant helps the person who is Submissive feel loved. If the person who is Submissive also has not done their personal healing, is on the defensive, in reaction, has up their guards, walls, is angry, unwilling to take coaching, shy and unable to express their feelings, and respond with love, neither the Dominant nor the Submissive will have a happy balance between the two. And, hence, no one will get either of their needs, wants, wishes, feelings heard or granted! It takes two to Tango! And in the balance of the Dominant and the Submissive, it takes TWO!
More to come!
Orgasmic Meditation – to be performed at a live presentation Friday night
Intention: A gentle meditation practice incorporating breathing into the belly and expanding the breath throughout the entire body. Orgasmic Meditation helps to ignite pleasure in the body, feel peace, but also bliss. It is a guided meditation to channel sexual energy throughout the body, clear energy, and raise sexual and spiritual energy.
Grounding and Shielding: You will find yourself a seat in the room, choosing to sit upright or laying down on a pillow or blanket. You will start with breathing into the belly, breathing in the nose and out the mouth. Feel your connection to the earth, but also your body and the energy around you. Notice the frequency in your energy field. Get present to how you feel, and breathe that knowing into your belly, exhaling out the mouth to release any stress you feel.
Balancing: As you feel deeper into your body and feel more comfortable with your breathing, you will start to inhale in through the top of the head, and exhale the breath down the legs.
Intention and Declaration: This practice is a connection to your deeper self. Whatever intention you have is for your personal awareness. Examples are: love myself deeper, love my partner deeper, clear myself of stress, remove stagnation or armor, open my heart more for giving and receiving love, gain the ability to make love longer, etc.
Completion and Grounding: As you go deeper into your breathing process, you will forget you are sitting in a room with other people, you will enjoy the pleasure of your breath, and appreciate your body more. You may have a mini full body energetic orgasm. This is a short practice compared to the amount of time I normally guide someone through this. However, you will gain a taste of the possibilities this provides, and if your energy is open, receive incredible joy from the process. As we come to a close you will breathe slower, longer, and more gently, exhaling into the earth to connect, get settled, and ground.
This is not a chakra meditation practice, but a kundalini meditation to help bring opening throughout the chakra channel, removing blocks along the central pathway of the body, and inhaling to increase the sexual energy flow, and exhaling by bringing the sexual energy down to ground.
It helps to bring awareness to how open your energy is, and also is a practice that can be learned to do on your own. It helps with erectile dysfunction, healing the prostate, elongating your love making experience and strengthening your sexual muscles for health, pleasure and multiple orgasms. Great for men and women!
Tantra After the Holidays
What are you doing to keep yourself feeling sexy and loved? How are you getting the connection and intimacy you desire? Are you still getting your needs met after the peak of the holidays? The middle of the holidays often can be a celebration and healing of love with family, and especially your partner, husband or wife. It may be a chance you can spend more time together, with work days off, more family members helping out with your kids, or a chance to just be home alone. When that joy of the holidays and opportunity to spend together is over, how do you keep the sparkle going?
Perhaps you went away together to a foreign country like Spain, or Greece, or a ski country like Australia, or Alaska. Did you snuggle up to the fire after hours of feeling the wind rush on your face, and massage each other after landing at the bottom of the hill as you pounded the ground and watched the snow fly in the air using all your thighs and strength of your Gluteous Maxima, minima, posterior and interior muscles?
Rekindling the flame after an intense connection and Holiday season can sometimes be challenging when you are a hard worker, and have a successful business or career. Perhaps one way of keeping the connection going is to go to a Tantra Retreat, workshop or a weekend getaway somewhere local. A night out on the town, and back to a hotel room with a jacuzzi tub sounds delightful.
Sometimes even just a simple practice of meditation together can ignite the fire, and remove the energy and stress of work and everyday life. It can help to cleanse the energy and let the kundalini sexual energy rise again, especially between two people who originally had an intense and powerful connection. It will always come back after a little cleansing. If you have not been on a meditation practice, perhaps consider the opportunity there for igniting a tantric connection. Its simple and free.
Did you have a good holiday, and now you feel distant from your loved one again? Consider planning something with the one you love the most. And, if you already feel close to him or her that you love, do something to celebrate!
I celebrate with you in your passion and love, and hope for it to continue as long as you desire!
We Are Energy Magnets
What kind of energy have you taken on lately? What experiences have you had recently? Do you watch a lot of videos (of news, tv, entertainment)? We take on exactly what we surround ourselves with, as much as we try to block it or let it go, it still does affect us.
After the past six months of debates, there’s been plenty of videos to watch, plenty of tv, and plenty of entertainment, but thats not all. To feel relief of all the stress, many people have watched enormous amounts of tv, netflix, hbo and the like. Live streaming has become a huge hit, and many new products have become accessible to us. Ie. amazon fire stick, google chrome cast, apple tv, etc. Having cable tv is not a necessity anymore. However, its not just tv that affects our energy bodies. In addition, we’ve gone through the Holidays, winter shopping, rekindling with old family members, friends, and had more pressures with work, career, and bills. In addition, maybe you reconnected with an old love, an old flame, or re-established a connection that has been long lost.
All of these things we surround ourselves with, does indeed affect our energy bodies. As you know from reading my blog, our energy body, is a part of our physical body, so anything we experience, get close to, or spend quality time with, will affect the energy we live in, even if our intention is not to have this be so. We are vibrational beings, made up of mostly water and energy, so there’s no escaping the energy. However, we can choose to harness practices to release it.
As soon as you realize this, the important thing is to get back to your meditation, your bathing ritual, a fresh walk outdoors, an energy cleansing, or nice massage. Sometimes its important to remove yourself from the computer or tv for a while, and regain your balance and center. What do you do when you realize you’ve taken on too much energy from your surroundings, and notice, you too have become an “energy magnet”? Where is the source of the energy you have taken on? And, what steps will you take to remove yourself, or “get clean”?
Happy Holidays, Happy New Year, and Happy Political Season!
Couples Marriage Coaching
I’m thrilled to announce I’ve been doing more Couples and Marriage Coaching Sessions! Some couples choose to come see me separately and one on one, and some choose to see me together. While, I am great at one on one coaching, I am even better with couples! When someone comes to me privately, my focus is on helping the individual, and all the issues they are dealing with. However, not all the issues may be obvious when they come alone. I only see one persons perspective this way, and will always take to their side. When they come together, my goal is to support both individuals, and I have a bigger picture to work with, and an awareness of whats going on from both perspectives, and hence, a much bigger understanding of the healing that is needed.
I then pick up on the joint energy between the couple, the joint patterns, the joint triggers, and all the work that is needed to heal a relationship can be done right there on the spot. I still start with a gentle breathing or meditation practice, then move into coaching for each individual, and conversation of course will happen for both sides; taking turns. We may move into forgiveness practices, acknowledging the other partner, eye gazing, breathing together, and emotional processing that is needed for each person that is at the core of the feelings inside of each of them. If we can move beyond all of these practices and the issues have been resolved, then we can move to the next stage of healing for your beloved and your relationship.
I still teach Tantra and Spiritual practices, however, they come after we have sorted out the major obstacles that are keeping your relationship separate or distant. Just like private sessions, working with the couple, both parties need to feel like they have gotten the support they needed, and each persons feelings are taken into account, as well as each persons individual issues and triggers. If the issues go beyond my abilities as a Coach, and the person needs more clinical help, we will discuss how I can be helpful alongside this, to continue the growth and healing of the relationship.
Both people in the couple must want to heal their relationship in order for the relationship to improve. If only one person wants to heal, and the other does not, we will address that in session. Or, if only one person thinks the other needs to work on them-self, and the other does not, we will find out if this is true, and how one in the couple can help the other to heal or grow. Sometimes, the support of just knowing your Beloved cares about you and wants you to be happier and feel better, and being a witness to your growth is all it takes. And sometimes, this inspires the other person in the relationship to realize they need to look at them-self too!
The cycle of making the other partner wrong is at the core of all relationships! When you can take personal responsibility for your half and how you are being with your partner, most obstacles melt away!
Sex and Dating
I’ve mentioned in past posts how sex can bring up deeper issues hidden in the core of someone’s being. If the issues that are brought up were not dealt with before, or are triggered by the new lover and come to the surface, the best thing to do is face them head on. Sometimes the feelings that come up from the past is something you would rather stuff to the ground, repress it, keep it hidden, not confront it at all. But how do you move past a superficial connection to something magical, powerful, harmonious and beautiful if you ignore what is showing up for you? A relationship is a powerful tool for healing and can be a miraculous journey of growth, if you let it.
The best thing to do, is get clarity on where you are at, and sit with it, breathe with it, and feel into it. Communicate with your lover/partner/girlfriend that you are working through something. Don’t leave them in the dust to try to figure it out, guess and wonder what’s going on. Communicate at least to let them know you are ok, you’re processing something, and will return once you feel more complete on what has been brought up for you. If you like the person, and there’s potential of a great relationship, do your potential partner the courtesy of communicating with them; even if its minimal communication. Let them know what’s going on, you’re still around, and will return. This acknowledges the new potential relationship that there is a connection and hope of a relationship still exists.
Its totally ok if you have been triggered into your deeper issues, wounds, feelings. This the woman would see as a strength, and she would respect you for it. If you neglect her existence, she might not think you care, and may very well move on to someone new! So speak up, say something. Show you care, and don’t be silent! Your voice, your feelings and your relationship matters! It’s the stepping stone to something wonderful!
This is often a huge reason why I suggest becoming friends with your potential lover or partner before engaging in deeper intimacy with them. So, there is trust, safety and love, and you know they aren’t going anywhere just because a trigger came up. Its something that can be worked through, and the foundation of the relationship has already been built. Relationships always bring up things for people. If someone runs at the first trigger in the relationship, the possibility for a relationship with that person is impossible! There’s many more things to work through, and if you run at the first chance of a trigger, no relationship with ever grow!
Let’s hope for foundation to be built in new relationships, safety, trust, love and breakthroughs to happen again and again!
Dance and Emotional Healing
I’ve stumbled upon some miraculous forms of dance as of the past 6 months. I never knew these styles of dance existed, until my ex introduced them to me. I am so grateful to him for that! If you are a spiritual person, into the healing arts, yoga, Shamanic Healing, or just like to try things different, these styles of dance are amazing! It’s hard to even decide what one is my favorite. I’d say all of them!
Journey Dance, great for freedom of expression, live drumming, very Shamanic, and rhythm to the tunes the teacher puts on. Whatever music the teacher decides will make or break the class. You can express yourself and break open limits you have around your ease to feel comfortable in your own body. You can learn to feel pleasure just from movement, your sensual nature and begin a journey of self love.
Contact Improv, an amazing form of dance mixed with martial arts! It is great for healing the need to feel connected, included, seen, important, loved, and accepted for who you are! This style of dance has you rolling on the floor, over people, and others rolling over you, literally all their weight drops into your body. You learn how to glide into someone standing vertical, using arms, your upper torso, hips, and legs all as tools to move into or away from someone. You learn to use your entire body weight to support your movement. You learn to hold someone with your weight, letting them lean into you, and they support you the same. It’s a lot about surrender and trust. You may lift someone up on your back, or be lifted and supported on theirs, being pulled in towards someone with their arms and all the way
behind them, and keeping the connecting where you continue to move in the opposite direction. Gravity becomes your friend, slow movement and your breath is your guide!
5 Rhythms, an amazing transformational style of dance, also very Shamanic. Here, you move at your your own pace, your own rhythm, and the focus is on individual strength, and finding the connection to your internal source of power. This style of
dance works with the different elements, and the music moves you gracefully from one element to another, from the most subtle breath, to the deepest and most rough stomp on the earth. Each element taps into a different part of your psyche, where you take a journey of your soul, from armor, stagnation, depression, repression and fear, to elation, joy, expansion, healing your heart, self love and bliss. This style of dance is empowerment, healing, and breaking barriers to your true self!
Open Floor, an amazing new style of dance, well new to the Philadelphia area. This is a major style of emotional healing and dance therapy. Many psychotherapists go to the training as part of their therapy practice to add more skills for their patients. This style of dance, helps one to truly get a feel of all of who they are in a class. It taps into the hidden cells in their body, and almost does an awakenin
g of the inner child, honoring that inner part of you, and letting the child essence of you to become free. Each class is different, and the teacher will bring in new skills to awaken different aspects of your senses, different aspects of your personality, and then at the end everyone gets a chance to share what they got out of the class. Again, the music makes the class, and you move how you feel guided, and can rest or dance assertively, whatever you feel called to do!
Freedom Dance, another amazing style of dance! Here, everyone starts on the floor, laying down, and listening to their breath. This style of dance is like yoga in a dance form. Again, another Shamanic type of dance. The teacher takes you again through the different elements of the earth. In this style of dance, moving through the elements is very obvious and clear. I will be glad to know when this style of dance comes around more often. The teachers are amazing, and again, it is an opportunity to heal hidden aspects of yourself. What was clear about this style of dance, is the level and degree of ones own boundaries, and what they are comfortable expressing, how one is comfortable connecting, or the walls one has up or witnesses in another, and the needs one has to be alone. You may discover your passion for life in this class, and what barriers you need to break through to become a more enlivened and powerful you!
All of these styles of dance are incredible! And, if I could, I’d take a teacher training in one of them!
I’m sharing this with you, because of my love of this art, and new awareness of how much it can help someone heal their internal world, and become free to be who they are!
I also love Contemplative Dance! Contemplative Dance started off with a Buddhist meditation, and then slowly we crawled on the floor. Then we move to our own rhythms, solo at first. Moving limbs, breathing and rolling around like a baby almost, in first discovery of having a body. Then we moved more and more into conscious awareness of our muscles, until finally we were all standing. And we explored using sounds, sometimes very loudly, sometimes softly. Then we moved to contact in very fun, unique, and creative ways, almost as a meditation, or yoga style with very slow still and focused steps, until they were fast movements, jumping, bouncing or laughing! It was quite interesting. Give it a try!
Lyme and Living Powerfully
If you have Lyme Disease, and you are confident about it, how do you live a powerful life despite what you might be dealing with? First off, every single person has different symptoms. You might be fine for months or years without noticing any symptoms at all, and then you might go through a change and have enormous symptoms that need to be taken care of. Or perhaps you might have symptoms that are manageable, but then you get to a certain point where you are tired of dealing with those symptoms, and want your body to feel amazing all the time!
Having Lyme can be a gift in a certain perspective. It will bring up emotions in your body that you didn’t know existed, and may have been suppressed your entire life if you didn’t have a physical symptom that caused pain and made you have to look at yourself. Some people may have fear of death, anxiety that was already in their body before Lyme, perhaps depression before the Lyme, internalized and deeply repressed anger, or other emotional experiences that the Lyme actually made one confront. Why does having Lyme make one confront these very core imprint and DNA patterns in the body? Because its a part of your internal truth, how you developed as a young child, perhaps even feelings carried over from past lives (if you believe in that), and the enormous level of pain over a long period of time makes people need to confront some very primal aspects of their identity. Having Lyme is not like having a car accident, where you go to the hospital and get treated for a couple days and then go home. It is a VERY long term dis-ease, that causes one to address some very deep rooted feelings they may never have confronted without it.
Perhaps like Cancer, it makes one question their life, why they contracted the cancer, where they were holding grudges and anger, who they blamed and made wrong, and if they truly want to live. It makes people question their thinking, how they feel about things, and their life, Similar to Cancer, Lyme makes people have to face the pain over and over and over again, and in doing so, go through deep emotional processes of healing. Perhaps this alone is why I myself did not figure out I had it until I transformed my identity, my psyche, and emotional life. The emotional, mental and spiritual self needs to be dealt with often before the physical self can be healed. And the more emotional feelings are stored in the body, the longer it may take someone to heal. So, healing the emotional self, does empower someone to heal the physical self.
After you have dealt with the deeper core emotional issues, you can feel empowered, integrated and aligned on a psychological level, and when pain arises, or fear, it comes and leaves just as quickly as it arrived. Often any anxiety one used to have or depression one used to have, diminishes or dissipates altogether. So for those who have had a lot to heal psychologically, in a way, it can be a blessing. The next journey is in empowering the physical self!
How does one heal the physical self? Well after you have dealt with the psychological self, you can empower yourself, inspire yourself, and encourage yourself to keep finding answers, and know and believe that after you had healed all the other aspects of who you are, healing lyme actually is quite a snap! Not that it is easy, however, the journey to healing may be much less than the emotional and spiritual one!
The important thing is listening to the body, and letting your own body be your natural healer and teacher, and trusting that over anyone else!
For anyone with lyme, I hope to inspire you to know and believe that you can heal, and you don’t have to suffer! You can live an amazing, fun filled and passionate life, despite your circumstances! Things will get better, and you will thrive!
When To Go Past Dating
How do you know when to take your relationship past the dating point? How do you know when to start kissing, being intimate, or becoming sexual? If you want the relationship to last, and not be just a sexual fling, it is often best to avoid deeper acts of sex and intimacy until you know for sure the relationship feels solid. There is that rocky stage in a new relationship where you want to be intimate, but you also want it to be the real thing. How do you know how long to wait and when to go past dating? Do you wait one month, three months, or four? Timing can be everything for each couple, and each individual.
It is crucial to discover how serious the person you are dating is, especially if you want something serious. And if you find out two months in, they don’t want anything serious, its much easier to walk away if you haven’t had sex. But what if you have? Then what do you do? Do you walk away as soon as you know your goals are different? Or do you wait it out to see if perhaps the other person is not sure yet?
Most of the time, if someone tells you in the beginning of a relationship, that they don’t want anything serious, you should really listen to them. If they tell you they just want to have fun, or want to remain celibate, or are not looking for long term commitment, you should take whatever words they say literally. Their actions may be different than their words, but its the words in the very beginning that define how they will truly be later. If someone hints to you that they “think” maybe they are Bipolar, or that they have had a history of being afraid after things start to get serious, and hide or pull away, LISTEN to them! All of these initial honest clues will impact the rest of your relationship, and if they told you these things from the beginning, you WERE forewarned!!!
If your date, warned you about some major things that would impact your dreams of a healthy and serious relationship, and you didn’t listen, that’s your fault! You need to be the one to walk away, and you need to be the stronger one; not them. They are wounded, scared, conflicted, confused, or perhaps just a jerk. You need to be the wise one! And choose whether to go past dating and of deeper into the relationship, or end it!
It is best NOT to have any sexual intimacy with someone until you know for sure who they are, their habits, beliefs, goals, if you could be good friends, if they are healthy, if you are compatible, and if you can really see yourself with them for the long term. When you jump in right away, not truly discovering their true colors, things get sticky and challenging, and it only causes more pain later. Be smart, and wait. Trust your gut, and listen to your heart!
Once you’ve figured out you have Lyme Disease, the task to heal it is a rough ride. Whether you’ve had it for a few months, years, or decades, its an intense battle to finally get it completely out of your body. Choosing to either go the Western Medical Doctor route, or the natural medicine route is a big decision.
Choosing the Western Medicine route is a shorter path of healing it, about 6 months (for chronic lyme and a few weeks if detected right away), however, often other complications arise because of it. The medication forces ones body to heal quickly, and remove the toxins at a faster rate. Because of this, it often causes other organs, and parts of the body to have a challenge in the quick changes and they often need more support, and it can cause more problems as a result. Some people choose this route however, and trust the process. I have chosen a different alternative.
Once I found out, and was confirmed of my knowing for many many years, I began an alternative path immediately. I started with homeopathic right away, which I took some videos that are on youtube regarding the detox process just with this treatment. http://youtube.com/user/AsttarteDeva/videos. I felt the homeopathics were not enough, and I added a couple products. I had tried mushroom spores, however, they did not agree with my system at first. I tried them again later, but discovered that having a mold and dust allergy actually made them not really be effective.
I added MMS, and got to 15/16 drops. I had to stop once my body started purging it right after taking it.
I added Concentrace (liquid trace minerals traceminerals.com, has electrolytes, and probiotics in it among many other good things),
I took 1 drop of iodine daily in water
I resumed Oil Pulling, with Safflower, Sunflower, Sesame or Coconut oil (great for teeth too).
I resumed the ayurvedic foot massage detox,
I had started Biofeedback treatments (last fall 2015) (very intense), however, the woman I was seeing was hardly available. So, I tried a Zapper (not so successful) and Rife Machine to get for the home (expensive). It’s not as powerful as Biofeedback. They can be found at amazon or eBay.
I started a morning meditation and listening to high frequency sound waves. https://youtu.be/r4qM2ZkwrJA.
I started getting ionic foot detox baths. It pulls all the toxins out of the body. The color of the water determines what organs you are detoxing from.
I’m also planning to get: infrared sauna treatments, and possibly colonics.
I had started zeolites, (a Vit D spray, and Asea), and found after many months it wasn’t doing all that much.
http://cellconnection.teamasea.com/ for raising cell frequency.
Colloidal Silver is also a great thing to take on a daily basis, any kind of immune support and multi vitamin.
Yummy healthy smoothies are an excellent idea, and a healthy diet.
Also adding liquid chlorophyll and wheat grass is great for the immune system.
It is also highly recommended to omit all sugar, vinegar, corn, and all gluten and wheat products. Stopping sugar helps the body to stop building additional candida/yeast and parasites. However, a candida and parasite cleanse is super crucial I have recently discovered, and even more so to kill the source, the eggs that hatch, even after cleaning out the gut, bc they will keep regrowing and you’ll have to start the whole process over again and again.
There are also professional Lyme Specialists, as well as Chinese Herbalists who do acupuncture and treat the Lyme and their co-infections with herbs as an alternative. And, there are other paths as well. There are many paths for healing separate from getting antibiotics. Just make sure you do your detox at a pace you can handle, and afford. If anything seems to be too intense, back off, and let your body settle down first before increasing your dosage again.
And, if you choose the antibiotics route, please do your research first! Currently, there is no vaccination for this, but believe it or not, this disease is now known to be in 1 out of every 5 people. The percentage is high, and its not going anywhere. The only alternative is to get it out of the body, with persistence, commitment, an inner strength and a little knowledge to support you!
(Edited and updated August 6th, 2016)
Viagra vs Tantra Transformation
There are many sources of what is causing your erection to not be as strong as it used to be, and if we find out the source, often we can also find the solution!
I’ve been doing tantra healing work now for over 11 years, and it’s amazing, but even more amazing is having added the tools of tantra, to my previous Reiki Master training, and Energy Healer trainings, along with Life Coaching and Psychotherapy tools. If I hadn’t had all that training, I probably wouldn’t be able to say that I can help someone with sexual dysfunction issues, or trauma stuck in his or her sacral chakra, or solar plexus, heart chakra, or somewhere else.
So what’s amazing, is that I find people who are on the fence with getting viagra, and have heard tons of horrible stories about it, and I stop them right there, and say, “Please DON’T take that stuff!” Too many bad stories about it, and way to dangerous! But what I do tell them is that I might be able to help. Most guys are looking for their erection. They wonder why they have gone limp, and often they are in a long term relationship or marriage when this happens. Most of the guys I have had success with this are 60 and younger. The guys older than this, the success rate is less, because it turns into a health issue and then we have to address the health. I don’t have as much experience of success helping it from a health standpoint, but I am learning and may take some further training so I do have more success.
However, if it is psychological, mental, emotional, or an energetic or spiritual reason, I can certainly help! Often it is one of these. For example, if you’re having trouble with your erection, but you’ve been in a relationship for a long time, most of the time, it is due to issues within the relationship, and we will move into Relationship Coaching to discuss the patterns in the relationship, or issues that might be causing some distance. If you don’t feel distant from your partner, and the relationship is going well, then it is an issue with yourself, something internal you are feeling, something you need to process and let go of, or perhaps something you need to forgive yourself for, or someone else.
Another example, if you are angry at your girlfriend/wife/partner and you are unable to get aroused, there’s your answer; the anger. Perhaps you have suppressed the anger and think you can ignore it, but then your body is telling you clearly that you cannot ignore it, by your loss of arousal or erection, then we can get to work on processing the source of the anger. If your partner has been blaming you for something, or judging you, or not appreciating or respecting you for something, and then you go to have sex with her, and are unable to get aroused, sorting through your own feelings about how she had been treating you up to this point, is what will help the erection come back.
Another option, is if you have a pattern of losing interest in being in relationship with someone, let’s say for 3 months or 6 months, and a year has gone by in a newer relationship, and the sex just doesn’t seem to be working as well as it did in the beginning, we may need to address some deeper core issues around commitment, intimacy, and the desire for freedom. This falls more into attachment styles, and if you have a tendency to be dismissive or avoidant in your relationships, and don’t know why you have lost your interest to be close, intimate or even sexual, we will look at the source of this. Often it is something way deeper than you think!
Another possibility is if you are still in love with your ex! Let’s say you got into a new relationship and perhaps at your core, were not done grieving your ex, there’s a chance that you still are in love with your ex, and the energy between you and your ex also is still attached. This happens on a psychic level, and we will then do a spiritual energy cleansing process I call Cord Cutting, to help detach you from your ex, so you can feel your own body, and experience your life from a fresh start!
To go deeper into this possibility (still being in love with your ex), let’s say you are still in a committed marriage or relationship, and you decide to open it up and have an affair or perhaps your wife/beloved is fully aware of you seeing someone else, and your body is not a match for the decision you made! Your body, and your genitals, are telling you, that you are still committed to someone else, and you may have guilt, or a lack of integrity with yourself about the new relationship! Then you may be fully ok with dating, friendly, happy, playful, and can cuddle and even have great foreplay, but when the act of sex comes around, you shut down!
Massage and stimulation won’t alter your bodies response to what’s going on inside of you. If your erection is weak, or missing all together, the answer is not a physical stimulation, or even a drug that changes your physical reaction. The answer is what is underneath your bodies response. Our bodies are very powerful tools for what is going on inside of us, and whether you are a man or a woman, it doesn’t make a difference. Your body will communicate to tell you what is going on emotionally, mentally, energetically, and spiritually. We are a spiritual body, and often the answer to a pain, or in this case, a lack of arousal, you have to look much deeper than the physical. You can stimulate for hours and days upon days, until your sore or bruised, but it won’t transform the reaction until you do the real work; whats waiting inside of you; your heart, your feelings, your core emotional and spiritual self!
There are many sources of what is causing your erection to not be as strong as it used to be, and if we find out the source, often we can also find the solution!
Much Love and Joy to your passionate journey of yourself!
Scenario: I am greeted by my ex-lover with a friendly hello. He shows up spontaneously where I tell him I’ll be. We speak in tongue with joy, ease and lightness. He asks to find out what I’m doing over the next few days, with enthusiasm, excitement, and curiosity. The next day I send information on events that look fun, and things we have in common. I hear nothing back. The day after, I send more information on very cool events, and hear nothing back. The next day, he finally responds, and says, “I never said we were definitely doing anything. I told you I may have had to work.” Now, I already had plans, but I was willing to be flexible to meet him. However, the lack of communication, being left in the dark, confused of if this person would want to meet or not, was emotionally and physically debilitating. Not in a real debilitating sense, however, a psychic one.
If someone you care for exclaims they want to get together, and leaves on that note, and then later completely disappears and doesn’t respond, its confusing for the psyche. It leaves someone in the unknown, and in a way, its how they keep their control on you. This then impacts the heart chakra. For women, and men, who care for their loved one, and were left feeling joyous they would meet very soon, but then never heard a word from them, its like giving mixed messages. The heart then is confused. The heart doesn’t know whether to be open, or shut down, out of this loved one saying one thing, feeling enthusiastic, and doing another, and being distant. Here, I will discuss how this affects the heart chakra and ones sexual energy.
When you leave your loved one thinking you’ll meet or at least talk in a day or two, are excited about the possibility, and then never hear from them, your spiritual body goes through a complex process of releasing someone’s lack of honesty. If you believe someone whole heartedly, at least to the point that their enthusiasm and encouragement on meeting was real, then you expect them to follow through with getting in contact.
However, when you hear nothing, you may begin to question:
- why you trusted them in the first place,
- why you were so excited and doubt yourself thinking maybe they never did want to meet
- question if you were confused about their intentions
- or perhaps be angry that they said one thing and did another
- or perhaps try to give them the benefit of the doubt that they never confirmed anything
However, if someone said they wanted to do something and would be in touch, and then they don’t, they are clearly lying. They are giving you mixed messages and making you believe them, to either side, whether they wanted to meet, or didn’t want to. This is insanity and crazy. There’s no reason to believe someone like this. They are in. They are out. Who knows! It depends on what they feel like, and not on how you feel or what they said.
This affects the heart chakra, and the heart then shuts down. It may shut down to this person, but also to other people when you were wide open, loving, enthusiastic and trusting, to then being confused, perhaps sad, and closing off your trust. When the heart chakra gets toyed with, has sadness, disappointment, or feels betrayed, it then impacts the sexual arousal, the root and second chakras (the arousal of a female and male’s sexual organs), and erection for men would be difficult, and arousal and juiciness for women would disappear. This type of person is possibly harmful to someone’s psyche and best to walk away, unless you are unattached, and don’t care about an outcome either way, and have a laissez faire attitude about it. If you do care, and your feelings matter, find your enthusiasm with someone who can be trusted! You never know what you’re going to get with someone who can’t follow through with what they say. And, its certainly not fun! And we do want all the fun we can have, especially for the summer! So, as they say in one of my favorite movies: “Pish, tosh!” (Throw it away!)
Why Men Pull Away
What happens when the man you love starts losing interest. He doesn’t know how to show his feelings, or perhaps he chooses not to. Why men pull away and why does this downward spiral start happening? What can you do to avoid it?
Perhaps something gets triggered in him. You, as a woman pick up on this. You can sense it, feel it, and may even know why. But he may not. And men don’t like to be told what they are thinking, let alone what they may need to heal. They want to figure it out for themselves. They want to be left alone, and perhaps to sort out their own feelings in their own time. But we as women, don’t like to feel her man pull away. We get hurt too, from their distance, their absence and can sense something is wrong. However, to let him work through whatever it is that he may be feeling, perhaps is the best solution.
Men don’t want you to be his therapist, or healer. They want you to love him, hold him, nurture him. And, it can sometimes take weeks, or months of his distance of going through something. He wants to just know you are there for him. He wants to know you care, that you back him up, and can be patient.
Often, men like to know that the woman they love, will stand strong and proud of him, not insulting him, or making him wrong, and just believe in him. Why Men Pull Away: They want to feel secure and confident in their selves, and in the choice they made with their woman. In many ways, perhaps, they like to know that the woman he loves, will stand proud of him, as his mother did. And, if she cannot hold that security and confidence in him as his first female love did, perhaps his adult love is not good enough for him.
This then, is what starts the cycle to a man’s absence; feeling unaccepted, feeling invalidated, feel insecure, losing his confidence in himself, losing his power, when he loses control, and feels a woman doesn’t accept him as he is, wants to help him, fix him, change him, heal him. If he feels he can’t take care of his woman, doesn’t have the inner strength, courage, power, financial or emotional, and feels powerless over the situation. If he begins to feel these things within himself, and his woman triggers these feelings in him, often he will pull away from her. Many men don’t know why they feel this way, and his woman will want him to feel happy, strong and powerful, but not know why he doesn’t, or not know that her words can sting him into a hidden cocoon.
How can we then keep the man we love by our side? Empower him, support him, accept him, encourage him, love him…to be all he wants to be, whether thats loving you, or choosing to run miles away.
More to say on this…please comment if you feel guided.
Perhaps this is a post more geared for women, but I’m sure men will find benefit also. And, please comment if you have any response, feedback or opinion.
Relationships and Fear
It’s amazing how after a relationship has gotten to a point of feeling so amazing that the connection is divinely pure, harmonious and feels magical, that once words are put on this, the relationship falls to the gutter. Perhaps people can’t handle putting words to what is happening. They see it as a threat, or they are afraid to admit what is actually going on. I call this a Love Poison. How can one person in the relationship feel so incredible and when words are shared, their partner feels like running and hiding?
How does this start in the first place?
Both partners are happy, filled with bliss, love and magic, and the connection feels beautiful. They hold each other often, kiss often, give each other affectionate touches and glances, and then the words cause one person to retract, or contract within themselves.
I’m going to go into Attachment styles again here. There are some people in our society who have a Healthy Attachment. This is when as a child, the infant and toddler received love and attention from the mother and primary parent, when it was desired, when the child cried, and asked for help. There was a balance of give and take and the child’s needs were met with ease, not too much, and not too little.
When a child was smothered and given too much attention and the parent was worried and frantically jumped to their childs needs right away or even before it was asked, the child can then become anxious. The child can also become anxious if he or she waited around crying constantly and not feeling heard, or feeling ignored and not having their needs met at all. They can then become anxious as well.
If a child was smothered and given attention all the time, even when it wasn’t wanted, the child can then become avoidant as an adult. If a child was forced into being affectionate, or yelled at by the parent, and didn’t want the affection and didn’t do anything wrong, but the parent is hyper possessive and protective, perhaps insecure or angry, it can also cause a child to become avoidant.
These three dynamics are just a subtle difference, but can cause all the difference in the child and eventual adult. And, most people don’t know where their behaviors stem from. They think they have to remain this way for the rest of their life, or at the most, manage it.
In the book, Avoidant: How to Love (or Leave) a Dismissive Partner, it talks about the different attachment styles, and how to understand a partner who is an avoidant, and be more supportive to his or her emotional style. In the book, Anxious in Love, it talks about a person who becomes Anxious and how to heal oneself from this style and put less pressure on your partner who is not anxious, as well as exercises a couple can do together. I’m going to be studying more about this psychological concept on my own, and will share my studies here as inspired. Another good book, for the anxious adult, who grew up with absent parents, (emotionally or physically) is a great book called: The Emotionally Absent Mother; a guide to self healing and getting the love you missed.
Often, adults who have already healed traumas, childhood abuse, or perhaps a mental illness, would be ready to heal this type of treatment. If there are still unresolved traumas, or abuse within the system, one may not be ready to take on healing their core attachments with their significant caretakers. It takes many layers to unravel the self, and each process has its value and importance. When one is ready, the attachment style is a journey very worth undertaking, and leads one towards beautiful and healthy relationships, perhaps for the first time in their lives. I wish everyone to have the courage to heal all the layers of them-self, and to trust that each stage they are in, is exactly where they are meant to be!
You fall in love and are head over heels for someone. The man who adore is sweet, kind, open and loving. You spend weeks and weeks together enjoying each others company, and then all of a sudden you tell your man you love him, and all hell breaks loose. He doesn’t think its possible. He tells you its too soon. He wonders if the relationship is a good idea anymore. He thinks he needs to pull back and distance himself, and does so. You’re freeking out. The man you had such a glorious connection with all of a sudden pulls away just because you tell him he’s amazing and you love him. Where did he go? Why did he pull back? What did you do? How can you fix it?
The issue comes down to the core of a persons psyche, their nervous system breaks open and starts to flutter in a million directions. Their mind goes a million miles and starts overanalyzing as a way to try to figure it out or protect itself. It comes down to attachment styles, and the source of someone’s attachment behaviors, where they came from, how they developed and what is safe for one person is terrifying to another.
We grew up in a certain household and developed attachment with our parents in a specific way based on who our parents were to us, how they treated us, and if they were too close or too far away when we needed them. Based on how this showed up as a child, we become a certain attachment style and the way we interact as an adult in relationship is exactly matched to what we needed as a child. It comes down to healing the inner child, and healing this attachment style. Not many people come to this place of healing their own attachment style. They think they are the way they are, and have to be with someone who won’t trigger their deeper wounds. But those deeper wounds are the core of the issues. The fears from either getting too close, or pulling too far back.
So the man you love, and you shared your feelings with wants to sabotage the relationship, and you try to fix it, by speaking soothing words, saying nice things, and backing off in words that will scare or trigger him. But you’re left with your own anxiety from him pulling away. And that too scares him. So, the solution is for both parties to heal both attachment styles; avoidant attachment who needs to pull away, and anxious attachment who is afraid of loss and needs to be close. Both need to develop inner security, confidence in their self love, and know that their partner still loves them, but is temporarily putting out signals and words of their own inner wounds and fear.
How can this be healed? How can someone heal their own inner attachment style?
The first thing is awareness!!!!
The next thing is being responsible!!!! Taking action and accountability for ones own behaviors and feelings and knowing they might be self sabotaging something great!
Take a step back and reflect on ones own fears!
Call a therapist who deals with attachment styles; particularly anxious attachment and avoidant attachment.
Go to a support group!
Meditate and calm your nervous system.
Keep getting together and stay in communication!!!!
Show each other you care by your actions and not as much your words! Have fun together and show each other you care!
All my Love and onward journey of healing and growth!
Don’t give up when you’ve just begun! This is where things go from challenging to amazing!
Pain to Orgasmic Pleasure
How many women out there have ever felt the experience of pain after making love several times, and instead of going deeper into the pain, felt as though they needed to take a break from sex for a while from the discomfort? Going from pain to orgasmic pleasure is possible!
Sometimes the pain in a female’s genitalia is a sign that there is something on the other side of that pain. A women experiences pressure on your yoni, her internal bones, and all walls of her vaginal interior and feels as though the sex may have been too rough. And she decides to back off, making her ravenous and eager lover calm down to pleasure himself alone instead.
How about try something else on ladies? When you feel the pain inside, notice it without judgment. Know your man loves you, deep within you, and wouldn’t want to hurt you. If he is your partner, beloved, husband, boyfriend or regular lover, his true desire is to just be with you, feel you close and pleasure you. This makes him happy! When you feel the pain, try going into intimacy and sex again, and notice the pressure inside you, and then give him a warning, “I need to pull out!” Then pull out slowly, and feel your female nectar starting to rise! Push out like there is something there you’re trying to get rid of, and notice a hint of liquid rushing. Then go back to making love, and try this again. You might notice the nectar get more and more each time. But the only way for it to run out of you, is to remove the object in the way (temporarily), by getting off or pulling away from your lover, and then pushing your insides out. You will notice the ability and beginnings of ejaculation if you have not experienced it before.
When it has been a while or is the first time, the female g-spot needs the pressure in order for it to be activated. The normal initial response is pain. And often women think that means they need to back off, but that is the furthest from what actually the body needs. She needs the pressure, which stimulates the pain, then back off for a moment, the freedom to push, and then back in again, to keep your man wanting more, and you as well.
Sometimes the amount of nectar is so enormous, that the women will feel orgasms running around again and again, in a circular manner, and repeating itself, and you’ll need to get multiple towels for her because she might not stop pushing. The pushing is the orgasms, and after a moments rest, another soon comes. She needs you to help her, be there, love her, and let her know you think its awesome and are supportive.
The pain does lead to pleasure! If you know what the pain is about, you’ll know how to get to the other side!
Every women’s g-spot is located in a different place. Some is close to the exit, some is half way back, and others all the way deep inside. Explore her location together, and find positions that will trigger it that will work for both of you. Make it a game! Make it fun! Explore the ride, and you’ll both be thankful! Sometimes on the other side of something foreign, unknown and painful, is a very glorious ride!
See also Empowerment Coaching for Women