Knowing Your Intention

Knowing Your Intention
Knowing your intention, or how Tantra or Sex & Intimacy Coaching Can Help you!

Perhaps this is you: “I don’t know what my intention is and I don’t know how to figure out what it is.”
Here are some possible scenarios: 
1). You are married and are feeling completely disconnected from your wife. You want to connect to her but you don’t understand why she is disinterested in sex with you. You’ve tried everything you can think of, and your struggling in your mind about what direction to take. You’re feeling at a loss and completely dis-empowered in your marriage. You love her deeply, but don’t feel as though you’re getting through to her.2). You are single and alone. You are feeling very lonely, although you are afraid of letting yourself be open to a new partner. You’ve been deeply hurt in the past, and you are afraid to be hurt again. You feel as though you tried as hard as you could and the partners in your past didn’t appreciate you, or recognize the good things you offered in the relationship. You feel fed up, frustrated, hurt and alone, and you are looking for a way to change how you behave in a relationship, the pain from the past, and your ability to be open to someone new.

3). You’re in a relationship but are feeling completely frustrated and dissatisfied… continued on site.

See more at my Tantra site on the page Intimacy Coaching. For men or women! Asttarte Deva

Pleasuring a Woman

Women are like flowers. They need to be touched with gentleness and love. However, before the approach of taking on pleasuring a woman, you must first do several of these things:

  • Make sure you’re asking her at the right time. Be sure she is not undergoing a lot of stress, and if so, support her if she lets you. Be a listening ear, or a shoulder to cry on.
  • Once she is feeling at her relaxed state, request to give her a massage
  • Ask her permission to touch her in every place you want to touch. She will appreciate your asking and this will help her to feel loved, respected and valued as a woman.
  • Be sure to maintain a conscious connection of love through eye gazing and tantric breathing practices. If you have difficulty looking into her eyes, practice beforehand by looking into your own eyes in the mirror. Spend at least 15 minutes to 30 minutes practicing this beforehand. Once you feel more comfortable, pleasure her with your glance and love through your eyes. If tantric breathing practices is a new term for you, do some google searching or seek out a good book, video or your favorite tantric practitioner to help you.
  • Allow her to communicate her needs and desires.
  • Be willing to listen to her, and really be present to her speaking and to your listening. Really be interested in what she has to say, otherwise, she will feel your distraction and disinterest and you may not get any further than asking to touch her. She might just say no.

Once she agrees, start to massage her from the feet up. Don’t touch her anywhere in private sacred areas. Massage her hands and arms with a very gentle pressure and then ask if she would like the pressure deeper. Massage her with long deep strokes on long muscles; such as the legs, arms, and back. Massage her back like you would a baby at first, and then give her all your passion and love through your touch.

Don’t ever expect to have sex with her, or that you are going to be able to touch her in her special sexual areas. You must go into this practice without expectations that anything sexual is ever going to happen. A woman needs to know she is loved. She needs to feel safe, respected and honored before she can open up to you. Some women already feel a strong opening to their partner, but it is rare that they’ll want to dive right in, and most women need the extended fore-play, cuddling, nurturing and massage practices before going any further in the bedroom.

If you are intoxicated, or stressed, or frantic about something other than your being loving to this woman, do not try to pursue pleasuring her. You’ll need to take care of your own stresses first. If you are not on a spiritual path, or doing anything to relax your nerves, you might want to seek out ways of doing so.

Once she has opened her heart, then she can open her yoni, her female desires, and then her sexual energy begins to open as well. Before her heart has been touched, the female will keep at arms length, and will be patiently waiting for her man to approach her, give her love and woo her into the bedroom!

And, as a grand finale, once she has been given the love she has been waiting for, the respect and admiration she deserves, and the honoring or her needs and desires, she will give you everything you’ve ever wanted in the bedroom and SOOO much more! It will be like falling in love again, and she’ll ravage you and pleasure your every desire just like she did when you were first dating!

See also at Asttarte Deva

Striving For Impeccability with a Toddler on the Loose

Some of you who find me here have known me for years, others, I am a new face to you. Some of you knew me before I was pregnant, some during my pregnancy, and others have found me after my baby’s birth. I find this work fascinating to do during my child’s first years of life, and even more inspiring, the dedication, commitment and workability to making myself available for you.

What would be most ideal, would be to have a nanny or homeschooling situation set up for my child to be taken care of by other adults besides his own parents, so that my baby’s father and I could work a little more than 3 days a week, and for myself to have an assistant to handle the office work, administrative work, advertising, marketing, answering phone calls, checking messages and getting back to people, replying to all emails, scheduling appointments, updating my blogs, and sites. I spend the majority of time doing these tasks when I am alone; all of three days a week to myself – – to do the details above, and the remainder of my time in session or having some R&R for myself.

I would love to have someone who I could work with to do these things, and then I could spend the rest of my time, focusing on writing my book, creating videos, teaching classes, getting new professional photos done and being in session.

It is fascinating that I get a lot of calls on days that I have listed as unavailable on my site, when my toddler is running around screaming in my apartment, or when I am out running errands, or taking him with me to explore the world through his eyes. I realize that sometimes I do need to answer the phone even when I have him, but it is not always easy to be available for conversation in that moment, and so I often ask you to call back and leave a message for me so I can get back to you when I am alone or when he is asleep.

Many of you who feel as though calling me is a risk, which is really just a belief you are carrying, won’t call again. But then there are those loving and spiritual clients who do honor their word, call and leave a message or continue to try to get a hold of me to connect. I am always thankful for those clients and often feel, that even though I have no shows, or cancellations, or clients who are not true to what they tell me, that those who are truly loving, honest and really want to work with me, are much worth the wait!

I love doing this work, and will continue doing so, and even though it is challenging to be impeccable to every person, I am still here, and know that the young years of my toddler is precious, and well worth the commitment to giving him all the love I possibly could. And, in the end, the beauty and love of this work remains and another year or two I will probably be much more available to you.

It is you who allows me to keep doing this work; for without you I would have to change careers to help me pay all those bills that is a reality to living in the material world. I am always appreciative of extra donations, and support – – being a single mom, with three days a week to cover everything I need, is quite a risk and challenge, but so worth it!

Asttarte Deva Asttarte Deva

Sisterhood of Goddesses & Tantra Play Party

Daka-Dakini / Sacred Sexual Healers Conference Fall 2009, Catskills Mountain, NY

Welcome to my world of Tantra!!!!!!!!!

I am now home from the insanely awesome and beautiful Tantra Conference for Dakas and

Dakinis/ Sacred Sexual Healers. This event is like getting a Tantra Session one after the next and after the next back to back for three days in a row!!!! It is quite extraordinary. I consider this event my personal community; of lovers, teachers, dancers, goddesses, Shivas, friends & peers! It is like a Teachers Community of like minds all coming together for insight, feedback, more education, more hands on practice, an opportunity to receive the love and healing we all give out so freely and openly, and a chance to be filled up of love and intimacy so we (I) can give it right back to all of you; stronger than before. It is like a place of refuge and a chance to filled up so I can go out in the world and shine!!!!!

Reid (Famous Sex Educator), Betty Dodson (sexual pioneer), Carlin Ross, & Barbara Carellas w/Urban Tantra, all opening their new dildos and gifts for presenting!

I got to be held and loved over and over, cuddled, embraced, honored, respected, and valued not only as a woman, but as a Goddess! 5 people from the community all turned to me and said, “your pictures DO NOT do you justice. You are gorgeous! You have got to get new photos. And, I guess I didn’t put a whole lot of emphasis on this, so one of my next projects is to seriously get new photos. I am totally different than I was before having a baby, and in my opinion, have never looked better. I grew up feeling inadequate, insecure, and ugly, and as I grow more and more into myself as a woman, am seeing that my beauty gets stronger as the years go by. Some people are good looking when they are young, and some grow into their beauty as they age. I suppose, I am the second version. I almost gasped, but someone, a Goddess who is in this field as I am, said I looked like Cindy Crawford, so I guess it is time to get the acknowledgment I need and deserve, by getting new photos and finding new lovers to meet me in my love and come back to give you all the healing you deeply long for and desire! This is the photo I felt I could relate to in similarity. but you all would have to be the judge for that.

That’s me in the middle with my little one on the left and sweet Goddess friend on the right. (no makeup and just a random photo).

Asttarte Deva

Clarifying Juicy from Gentle

Clarifying Juicy from Gentle

(Old Post to be edited)

There are some of you who have been followers of my writing and work for some time, and others who are just meeting me for the first time.

I made a decision recently to separate my work as a Spiritual Healer, Yoga Teacher, Shiatsu Massage Therapist & Emotional Release techniques to a new site that is completely separate from this one. My BeingInBliss site was intended to be a Spiritual site, however, most who found me there, still wanted advanced tantra teachings and healings. Perhaps it is not possible to separate the two worlds, however, in this new awareness, I am attempting.

Everything that was on the BeinginBliss site still exists, however, I imported BeinginBliss to  since it was very rare that true spiritual seekers found me there. Those who find me and ARE interested in Spiritual Healing, now can feel safe and trust that that is what I will offer, will know they all end up back to the same place.

Like someone said a couple weeks ago, it is not easy to tell someone who is an Interfaith Minister the same things you would say to a Goddess Tantra Healer. And, I agreed. The worlds are quite opposite, however, in Tantra, nothing gets left out and the more skills you have, the more there is to offer. And, thus, I will be adding some of these gifts to the Tantra site, but keeping it focused to one page, with parts on other pages, rather than 10 pages of deep details as I had before.


Asttarte Deva

Last Online Exposure before leaving to NY

This weekend is going to be an ecstatic awakening to the the love in my heart! I am a vessel of love and my deepest desire is to love you and to love all. However, this weekend I am going to a place of my own refuge and where I can get picked up, lifted and refilled from all that I put out and give to the world. If you are looking for a good time to see me and work with me, the week or two after I come back from this event is about the most perfect time for you to have a session. I am fully charged, filled with bliss and divine love at its maximum potential and am ready to share all that love with you.

Because I am a mom and mostly do my job of being a mom alone, there are few times where I can take off more than a day or so to take care of myself, and because I was given the opportunity to be fully supported to leave and know that my son will be completely taken care of, I know I am can go away and have an amazing weekend!

I will be leaving today, Thursday Oct. 1st and returning Monday afternoon, Oct. 5th and back to work on Tuesday the 6th!

*******If you are interested in finding out about this weekend and why it is going to be so amazing, check out my beloved Baba Dez’s site at and click on Daka/Dakini Conference East! **********

*** Also, if anyone is interested in becoming Administrator for the Online Tantra Community site at EastCoastTantra, please let me know!!!! I am totally willing to give this project to others and share the role in leading and helping the East Coast at large! The East Coast is ready for change, and the change must start with us!

*** Another thing, if you are interested in coming to my first Hugging Power class (party really), please call me and I’ll add you to my list of attendants. I still need confirmation on a space, but I am hoping to have the 1st class before the end of Oct! You can go to or for more information on the class. And, any ideas on making DanceWithBliss or Hugging Power more professional, I’m open to support there as well. Hugging Power is going to be a project where it is not about me and my work, but something I intend to teach others so there can be other teachers as well!

Much, Much love to all of you,

Asttarte!!!!!! Asttarte Deva