Many people don’t realize how powerful communication affects your intimate life. Many take their relationships for granted and expect them to always be the same, doing what they have always been doing. Many don’t understand the significance that your words create your reality. Every single word that comes out of your mouth, or that stays quiet, has an impact on the people in your life and the reality you live in. People expect to go walking around life doing what they have always been doing, and expecting to get different results.
All that is necessary in creating the love life of your dreams, is instead of making yourself and your needs a priority, is in making your partner know that they truly matter.
It takes authenticity, integrity, honesty, and being real with your partner, where in the past you have been lying, keeping secrets, putting you first, blaming and making wrong, having expectations, withholding, criticizing, and being defensive. In other words, taking responsibility where you have been irresponsible is all that is necessary in cleaning up your communication and creating the intimacy you truly long for.
If you have been coming home late from work everyday, putting your personal life first, your needs first all the time, not listening to what is important to your partner, and getting mad and defensive at them for being upset about it, you can’t expect them to feel loved by you and want to be intimate with you later after all is done and the end of the night is near. Can you? Think about it. You are in a one person relationship when you are doing this, and then expecting your partner to want to have sex with you at the end of the day. It’s actually ridiculous if you think about it. All people need validation for how they feel, they want to know that their feelings matter, they want to feel accepted, loved and supported in every way and they want to be made important by you, a priority. However, if sex or any of your other needs is all that matters to you, what your left with is a one hand show.
Learning how to touch your partner, having the most wonderful tantra techniques to give her (or him) the pleasure they want is only beneficial when you have the closeness in their heart, and they are truly open to being with you this way. It is easy to have great sex and beautiful intimacy in the beginning of your relationship, but try taking on being responsible for your actions and your words, and you might just fall in love again. Tantra practices are nothing without the closeness, respect, safety and honesty of your heart. Your relationship is only half of what it can be without true integrity!