Do you ever go to the grocery store, and after strolling and going to the check out realize that there are other items you “still” need to get? I often go to the Acme to get my trash bags, lunch baggies, water, fresh fruit in bulk, eggs, pastas, crackers, frozen meals and deserts, and then trek to the Trader Joe’s for my sons vitamins, nuts, goat cheese, orange juice and yummy yogurt and then Whole Foods for their delicious soups, organic vegetables, “my” vitamins and teas, juice for my son, my nurturing magazines to read, etc. AND, more recently, even go to the Co-op to get healthy snacks and more natural sugar treats for my son. That’s a heck of a lot of different grocery stores to go to, and not all at the same time, but do ever find yourself caught in the same situation where you need to go to multiple places to get all of your needs met?
Just like your sexual needs, your intimate and personal needs, you can’t always get them met by the same person, or at least not all the time. Perhaps in the beginning of relationships it may appear you can get ALL your needs met by your honey, but as time moves on, you realize more of who they are and some of your needs are better off met by others.
Perhaps your significant other gives you great nurturing, cuddles you and is great to relax with, but you also have a desire for great sex, so you may find yourself being drawn to others, and sometimes without your partners consent. You may have a best friend at work or that you talk to every day that you can vent, talk to and really feel heard. And perhaps you can’t always get the massage you deely desire and need from your Beloved, so you then turn to the Massage Parlor or Spa for this need. If you’re a woman and you LOVE shopping, maybe your guy will turn you away when you make his request to join you, but you have a favorite shopping buddy you like to call on when you’re “in the mood” to shop! Or if you’re a guy and love to go bowling, have a “guys night out”, or go hunting, your woman certainly and most probably isn’t interested in joining you here! Sometimes it’s okay to get your “other” needs met by other people. And, often, it’s nice to get a little break away from the person you see the most. It sometimes allows you to appreciate them that much more, and gives you a reason to keep the relationship going, because in the end, they are the one you love the most.
The Best Way to Get All Your Needs Met:
Talk openly about ALL of your needs and what you are or are not getting met by your significant relationship.
Discuss your other considerations for fulfilling those needs.
Make agreements with each other to have them fulfilled.
If you have weekly needs, find a day and time that they are suited best.
If you have monthly needs or bi-monthly needs or every six months, be sure to discuss them so it doesn’t become your partners problem or that they don’t become the blame for your lack of happiness, but instead, you are in charge of your own life!
If your partner is not supportive of your needs getting met, you might want to seek a Couples, Family or Sex Therapist to work them out. Otherwise, you might be questioning your relationship and why you are in it.
May all Your Needs Be Met in the exact time you need them!