Protecting Your Sexy

You know the sayings, “Sexy is as sexy does~” and “You are who you hang around!

Well, what do you do when all of the people you hang around or the person you sleep with (or are in a relationship with for that matter) is not letting you be your sexy and is holding you down?

How long do you let the people in your life hold you back? Do you keep hanging out with the same friends, or support them to help them open up to their potential? Do you stay in a relationship with a partner who has no sex drive and try to burst their bubble and open them up to you, or do you walk?

These are questions many contemplate. The people in your life are people you care about. You want to be happy with them. You want to grow with them. You don’t want to hurt them by walking away, or yourself from having to grieve them and start the whole dating process all over again. But, do you ever question, is STAYING worth it? And, am I really being my full authentic self with this person? Will he/she EVER truly get me? How long am I willing to sacrifice my passion, my identity, my purpose?

As a VERY sexy and passionate person myself, I have asked these questions MANY times, and in the past unsuccessfully left a relationship only to be sucked back into it again. I realize the power that was lost in the process; the giving away of my own power, my own identity, and as I stand here and reclaim my true self again, it is so liberating and freeing to detach from someone who sucks the life out of you; literally!!!

But what do you do, if they try to convince you “OH, I know you love me!!!” or “Oh, hunny, we’re meant to be together!” or “Baby, I need you!” “I’m nothing without you.” or worse, if they demand you stay with them, “You HAVE to be with me.” or perhaps if they do it secretly and unknowingly by manipulating your thoughts or beliefs and try to control you. How long will you let this continue going on? At some point, the manipulation HAS to stop, and the truth WILL set you free! YOU know you HAVE to walk, and no ounce of convincing will change your mind. You are ready, you are clear, and you set yourself free! This is a battle, I like to call, Protecting Your Sexy, because as time goes by, your sexiness elopes you when you stay, and when you detach, your sexiness flies!!! Only then do you see the truth, the cycle and can finally take a stand for yourself, protect your self, and walk away!

Some relationships just don’t work, and some people in our lives are meant to be with us for a certain period of time, and when they keep holding you back from your true self, you know, the time has come!

I am here now, Protecting my own sexy! Do you care to join me in the quest?

I’ve learned some great new tools the past few weeks in Tantra, and I am available, here and would love to see you!

Here’s to your sexiness, your passion, and your life!!! Cheers!!! Asttarte Deva

Taoist Tantra & Intimacy Retreat

Hi guys (and gals). I’m sorry to announce that I’m writing to you AFTER coming back from this Retreat, but all that has been going on all summer left me MIA, and I’ve been working through some of my own personal journey that I neglected to let you all know of this, prior to its happening. However, it was a private invitation, and a VERY small group of people.

NOW, I get to tell you of its happenings and the amazing experience received during this time!

First off, this happened in Caanan, NY, ALL the way at the tippy top of New York state right next to Massachusetts, and YES, I drove up there, alone! I wanted to drive to see all of the visions and settings across the land and get a feel for the energy up there, and re-kindle my desire to move to NY myself! I have a passion for the mountains, for nature, rocks and waterfalls. I do love the ocean and the beach, but I REALLY LOVE the mountains and the deep settings of the Earth! Just being in these areas

heightens my sensation for pleasure, for
bliss and a connection to Gaia, Nature Spirits and the Divine! There is nothing like it!

So, what was THIS Retreat like? Ahh, aren’t all Tantra Vacations and Trainings amazing? Yes, they are, and this was NO exception! The purpose of this event was much different than my Beloved Baba Dez’s Daka Dakini Conferences. Dez has practically no limits or boundaries in his trainings, and yet they offer an extraordinary experience filled with love, divinity and bliss. Where-as this event, was lead by Anton from Sexy Spirits in NY, a friend of mine I love, admire and adore! And he brought his gorgeous and sexy wife, and they both shared their love with all of the participants. It’s SO amazing to see how a powerful Couple, that unconditionally give to each other, and ravish in each others pleasures and fantasies can be so fulfilling to their inner self and to a community at large! It was awe-inspiring! My dream man would be someone such as him; a Leader of a Tantric Community himself and completely Mastered the Art of Love, Pleasure and Orgasm! Yes, these beings take YEARS of training. It is not your hand me down, run of the mill training of being a horny teenager and growing up just adoring sex and touching a woman. It is a whole different ball game!

1). We learned how to pleasure a woman in an entirely different and loving fashion; one that did not include ejaculation and full blown orgasm, but one that included intimacy, patience and gentle orgasms that were stopped prior to its height; keeping the flame going for minutes or hours. And, the men just surrendered into giving, and were trained in this fashion so as to allow the woman he gave to, to experience what it felt like to be trusted and safe in his arms. There were three positions he practiced; the breast massage, the Do Date, and a position I don’t know the name of, but where she was gently guided to lay over his legs face down with her legs wrapped around his waist as he practiced helping her open her energy in her entire rib cage, lower back and buttocks. All positions were done with MANY pillows, and we were trained how to recognize when someone would need a pillow, and to what degree.

2). Naked Yoga every morning! How joyful and relaxing and fun! Then we ran to the back where a stream filled with large rocks and small waterfalls overlapped the earth. The men graciously and gently guided us all through the water as we went to a deep part in the creek and jumped all the way in to let the water cover our entire bodies; naked and freezing! Wow, what a rush!

3). Tantra Tango; need I say more! You could wear as little or as much as you wanted and swing those hips around to step-step! (Yes, I later realized my sarong was in the way!)

4). Organic Food! We were seriously treated like Kings and Queens!

5). Cuddling with whoever you wanted in each series of practices in the Group Setting!

6). Energy Cleansing and Honoring the Self Ritual. I went into full body waves as I was finally given permission to be my true self and let all the muck from here in Philadelphia, just disappear and dissipate away from me!

7). Good Bye, but not good bye! We were all invited to Anton and Rita’s soon to be official wedding that is to be scheduled within 6 months! This is now another one of my Beloved Tantra Communities, I dare not stray too far away from! Coming to this event, was my coming home!

If anyone is interested in being my trainee or receiver of this Taoist Art, please let me know. Guys and ladies!

I will share more with you of the summer coming soon!

Love you All, and NO, I have NOT stopped doing this work and don’t plan to; ever!

Check out: for more info on the Retreat! The second Training will be in the Winter as a Part II Taoist Tantra Training and Healing for men!

PS. My Private Tantra and Sacred Sexuality Healing site was never taken down. Here it is just an FYI: My very basic and old site! My Coaching site is
Tantra, Coaching and Healing for Women is

LOVE! <3 Asttarte Deva