I can feel the darkness in my womb, and I feel it’s cries for days afterwards asking me why would I do such a thing. I feel unloved, and filled with stress and my body asks me to place healing energy all over myself for days until the energy subsides. It then begins to question my love for myself, as though I am allowing this other being into my sacred center when they don’t have any investment into who I am. They crave, they desire, they lust for passion and love, but yet they are unable to create the sacred connection with me; or perhaps even them-self.
It is a rare man who can hold the space of true love with a woman, and one who can carry and harness the place of letting go of their ego, giving fully to the woman in their presence, and holding the vibration and love, of peace and tantric bliss with just their eyes; their touch, their love.
I too, find myself not with any man who can hold this space; for I have not found a man who can hold a space such as this; except when I treat myself to a Tantric Retreat and merge with an Advanced Practitioner as myself; otherwise, I too am waiting.
To be so pure, so present, so kind, so giving, so gentle, so loving and to merge deeply with the Beloved in his woman, in the woman before him takes a strong man; a powerful man; one who has integrated himself and released his past; one who has no concerns of who is he or what he is doing, but just gives of himself fully.
I then love myself fully, and harness the depth of love to myself and stand firm in making him wait until he has fully cleansed himself of his past, and fully give of himself to me, and love me as one!