Sexual Frustration and open marriage

Sexual Frustration and open marriage

sexual frustration and open marriageSexual Frustration and Open Marriage

There’s an extroadinary amount of marriages and couples that stay together for the security, rather than the desire and love of it. ¬†Couples have children, they build a foundation of what’s comfortable. They love each other, but the passion, spontaneity, openness to each other, and playful sex almost disappears. Where does this passion and desire for intimacy go? And what do they do about it? Sexual frustration often gets transferred into taking care of the child/children, work, career, and time to just simply rest.

When marriages have lost their zest and they have a love for one another, this can often lead to dependency on the other. A fear of looking outside the marriage shows up out of fear of breaking the security they have developed, the security for the children and the harmony and emotional balance of all involved. However, when YOU have NOT had your sexual needs met, in weeks, months or years waiting around for the security of your husband or wife is truly wasted energy. I can understand you might not want to risk the family bonds, the close knit family gatherings, and the fun you all have together for the sake of the children, but there comes a point when sexual frustration has taken over, and your sexual self expression is completely missing and void that your entire life force has dwindled away.

What do you do to take care of your personal needs when they show up? Do you have an affair? Do you secretly date someone new, keeping lies between both the new person and your husband/wife? Or, do you have the straight conversation with your family and husband/wife and talk to them about what is missing for you, what you want to create, and the fears, concerns, and pain it may cause for each other?

The only way to solve issues between a partnership is to straight up talk about it. However, not everyone is comfortable talking that boldly, and not everyone is willing to take the risk. Are you willing to risk your sexual pleasure, vitality, life force for the sake of keeping something solid when you are not happy? Or, is having honest communication something that you might be willing and open to having? Despite all the criticism, complaints, concerns and fears the other person may have, can you be able to listen to them, hold the space for them, and be loving despite everything they might feel out of your honesty?

You might be surprised. You might get your needs met, and you just might be able to have it all. Isn’t it worth the risk?

For those I love, friends, clients and myself, I say YES!sexual frustration and open marriage

Tantra Bloggers and Writers

tantra bloggers and writersTantra Bloggers and Writers, and Tantra Readers, of course!!!!

To any of you who are bloggers out there: do you find it interesting, that when you blog to one audience, you tend to write in a certain way, and when you blog to a difference audience, you write in another? For example, when I wrote in SexBlissLifeCoach.blogspot.com (or HERE MyLoverMyBestFriend.wordpress.com), I write sexy articles, juicy pieces on love, intimacy, romance, tantric awakening, etc., and when I write to my new blog site¬†TrueTantra.net, I actually write about the core of what Tantra truly is, and when I write to my blog IntuitiveSoulHealings.com, I write solely about healing, yoga, intuitive experiences and emotional healing. And, while I’m on a roll, when I write to my blog for women, it is just that, a blog for issues related to women! (HealingSacredWoman.com)

So when I return here, even just looking at the blog, and being here, the energy is filled with excitement. It raises an energy that feels fulfilling, eluminating, inspiring and empowering. I may just want to make some changes after all! (Delete moon fruit’s site, and consider renaming TrueTantra.net back to AsttarteDeva.com)…just a thought. However, when I’m here, I want to share about some sexy happenings, or potential sexual happenings.

So what are some sexy things you have done lately? Or, what are some sexy things you’re thinking of doing, want to do, or would love to make different in your life? A new lover perhaps, a new romantic vacation, to take your girlfriend/wife/boyfriend/partner on an anniversary dinner or get-away? Or perhaps rent a cabin and join some friends on a double or triple date? I’d love to hear some things you’re up to, and please don’t be shy!!!!

Asttarte

(PS. check out my new blogs listed above)

Taking a Stand

Taking a Stand

Taking a StandTaking a Stand

There are moments that give us opportunities to look deeper, ask further and give rise to something greater!

A recent event happened at the end of June, where I was in a very intimate encounter with a man, whom I felt very safe with, adored, and made me laugh often, and out of the blue after we made love, he put a pillow over my head for a few seconds. I couldn’t breathe, and when he lifted the pillow, I said, “You deserve to be smacked!” He said, “Oh its not a big deal. Don’t worry about it!’ Well, after numerous conversations with numerous coaches and my therapist, I decided I ought to jump in to truly healing my rape from 2005, at a much deeper level than I had before.

My therapist believed this to be a new trauma, however, from other conversations, I believe it was a re-visiting of the old, and a reminder, to go deeper, and a decision was made, “I’m am ready to remove this from my body completely and do whatever it takes to take out any reaction from any future encounter.”

I decided to go to a group therapy/education meeting in Philadelphia, and this has been eye opening. From all the Transformational Coaching conversations, my body was still having reactions as though that event in June stirred up something that happened just yesterday. I had to deal with those reactions all of July and now being August. My performance in my Leadership Training has dwindled, and I’ve experienced exhaustion, being checked out, and a new desire of writing the story from 05, and a book to truly help other women! I felt pain in my womb area and lower abdomen all last week, to the point I thought I needed to go to the hospital. They found nothing, and said, “You are perfectly healthy,” and suggested to follow up with a doctor. And on Sunday morning, after having 4 women from my leadership training stay with me TO BE SURE I did the weekend course, it dawned on me, I was angry and really sad, and that realization brought tears to my eyes, and the pain in my female area lessened.

The women’s meeting today was eye opening. There were women in there much worse off than myself, one’s trauma who had only just happened a couple months ago, and another who developed multiple disorders and diagnoses due to her experiences. I found myself truly wanting to help them, give them support, listen and be sure they said what they needed say.

This only proves my desire to write my book even stronger, having women’s gatherings even stronger, and my stand for women even greater! I will conquer this. I am conquering this, and I will help many women who need it!

Asttarte