How Do You Nurture Yourself?

How Do You Nurture Yourself?

how do you future yourselfHow Do You Nurture Yourself?

How you nurture yourself all depends on what it is you are dealing with in your personal life.

Are you dealing with health matters?

Are you having relationship challenges and feeling your partner at arms length?

Is your family avoiding you and ignoring you or your feelings?

Are you having a higher level of stress and anxiety than normal?

Are you feeling more angry than normal, more tired than normal?

Are you feeling isolated, alone, sad?

How do you nurture yourself in these different situations? They each have different paths one would take to feel better, heal, come to solutions or happiness depending on the circumstance.

The first thing that is helpful is to do a daily meditation practice. You can start with 10 minutes, 15 minutes, 20 minutes, or 30 minutes. Just that short window of time will make you feel so much better. some people like to jump in and start with an hour. If you have the time, go for the hour. If not, try a smaller time frame.

Then do something that’s going to nurture your soul, perhaps a new spiritual practice, such as yoga, chakra healing, reading a spiritual book, learning about angels, crystals, breath work, or even getting acupuncture, massage or a reiki treatment.

Another excellent practice is drinking a specific tea that is helpful for your situation. There are many teas on the market, and many you can make at home. Most teas are made with natural herbs and are a cheaper solution than buying multiple bottles of different herbs, or oils. Herbs and essential oils can be costly when buying in bulk, but teas are very affordable. Try to match your situation with the type of tea that would be helpful for that. If you don’t know, try seeking a tea expert, an herbalist, or feel free to reach out to me for suggestions.

Next, write down everything that is going on. It is very helpful to write down your feelings, and using your writing as a sort of therapy. Writing is very cathartic and sometimes when you write down what you feel, what happened, and the situation, it can help you let it go and feel so much better about things. Then you are able to move on from it, and almost feel empowered that you expressed yourself. Some people don’t like to write, but try pushing yourself a little, via a wordpress document, in notes on your computer, or even writing in a spiral notebook or nice journal book. It sometimes feels very good to write things down with a real pen or pencil. It touches a different part of the brain and releases energy pent up in your throat and lower chakras, believe it or not. It’s not going to have the same benefit as a meditation, or chakra healing, but it is still quite powerful.

Are you an artist, musician or do you like doing things with your hands? This could be a great way to nurture your inner self, and help get through a challenging event, experience, or point in your life. You don’t have to be an expert. As long as you do it, put your heart into it and are intentional, anything you do can be helpful, and in the end, amazing!

What is it you are dealing with? Talk to me here! I’m happy to respond!

Relationship Trauma & Anxiety

Relationship Trauma & Anxiety

relationship trauma & anxiety

Relationship Trauma & Anxiety

For the past three months, my life has altered in a dramatic way. Things happened that I had no expectation or awareness they could, and life has taken an unexpected turn. Something happened very personal, that caused me to have to take a serious measure and a stand for myself and my son. I had to file for Protection against a man I have loved profoundly for the past nine years, and a man I thought had loved me in return. I had no idea what the results would be with this action. I had no idea if I would gain the protection I sought, or what would then follow if I had not. Although, I knew I needed to take a stand. I knew enough was enough. And, I knew the stand was more for my son than for myself.

A forced legal custody arrangement was placed on the spot immediately following my inability to acquire the permanent protection, and my body was manifesting symptoms I had no control over. All the meditation, prayer and energy work I did on myself could not stop this process. All the prayers I did for him could not stop this process.

During the time of the temporary protection (around a month and 1/2), I became super clear I had been in love with a mad man, and someone who has extreme mental illness. It became clear I had spent years trying to help him heal, and he was in utter denial he needed it, and in utter denial there was a reason for him to seek any form of help that could be a solution, albeit temporary to his dangerous psychosis. I am very clear this man has Bipolar, as one of the many aspects to his behavior, however, that aspect would be a gift if that was all it was. I am not a Clinical doctor (yet), but I am very aware of personality disorders, disassociation, mental illness and mental health. If I could be the fairy that waved her magic wand over this sad unconscious soul, I would have done it years ago. And, in many ways, I tried, granted unsuccessfully.

It would make sense that stress or anxiety (and even symptoms of PTSD) could show up when anyone has to deal with another person of this character (sociopathic/psychopathic/schizoid/anti-social/depression). Thankfully I’m so proactively working on myself I don’t have the extreme of ptsd in my system, but considerable anxiety has had its way of taking over.

How could anxiety show up and manifest when dealing with such an extreme person?

It could show up as:

hyperventilating (or panic attacks)

hives

insomnia

loss of appetite (or increase)

isolation

depression (lethargy)

fear

serious disconnection from spirit (or spiritual practices)/loss of faith in God

energy blockages/energy stuck/cloudiness

During an intense change in a relationship, when you were going on a certain path and direction with someone you loved, with goals of marriage, living together and family, and then the sick person you love takes a sudden turn and changes their mood, behavior, feelings toward you from deep love to utter distance, changes the way they walk, talk and act, and becomes abusive and attacks you and those you love, having symptoms such as the ones above are extremely normal. Don’t let this delusional person tell you any different! If they start pointing fingers that there’s something wrong with you, that’s only confirmation of their illness.

My symptoms manifested mostly as hives, and I studied everything I could to determine how to treat this. My own research was far more successful and helpful than going to my doctor. I found home remedies online, and these were the most successful that I tried: (I also added my own techniques here as well)

oatmeal baths

cool or cold compresses

the herb nettle (can be found at a health food store)

fish oil capsules

meditation and relaxation (and deep breathing)

chamomile essential oil (most awesome was Wild Chamomile Oil; more expensive but fantastic). German Chamomile Oil, and Roman Chamomile Oil. The oils in jojoba oil do work and if they are all you can afford, get it. The pure oils of course are more potent! This helps with anxiety, stress, sleep and throughout the day.

chamomile tea (not as strong as the oil, but nice)

valerian herbal remedy

determining food triggers

witch hazel (helped only slightly)

Bach flower essences (rescue remedy and others you are drawn to)

Cosmic Love Essence

Healing Sessions, Reiki, Energy Healing (receive from friends or healers, and do self healing if you are trained as well)

Chakra Balancing (meditation, working with crystals, pendulum balancing, yoga, etc).

Relaxing Baths

Prayer

Therapy, EMDR, Psychotherapy, Support Groups, Group Therapy, Counseling

Landmark (landmarkworldwide.com)

A Course in Miracles

Hanging out with friends and family

Reading, movies,

Exercise, yoga, rock climbing, skating, walking, staying active, etc.

Walking outside in cool or cold air

Anything that makes YOU happy!

 

Stages After Leaving the Abuser Could Be (in quotes taken from The Sociopath at the Breakfast Table):

frightened – “that the same thing will happen again, or that you might lose control of your feelings and break down”, that he will hurt you again, and your love for him is too strong to stay away.

helpless – “that something really bad happened and you could do nothing about it, leaving you feeling vulnerable and overwhelmed”, that you can’t control how powerful he is, in his vindictive ways, his seductive ways, and his false image of love.

angry – “about what has happened and at whoever was responsible”, and at those who took his side and didn’t believe you, at yourself for trying to help him, and who didn’t protect you or your child

guilty – “that you could have done something to prevent it”, when he shows love for you again, when he finally says he’s sorry, that you shouldn’t have given up on trying to help him to get help

sad – “particularly if you or other people (your children, perhaps) have been affected”, sad in particular that your child will be exposed to this man for the rest of his life, and you may not be able to protect him, sad and scared your child could be fated to become just like him.

ashamed or embarrassed – “that you have strong feelings you can’t control, especially if you need others to support you”. I am happy to accept the help when it comes my way, but this may be relevant for others. Ashamed that I as a Healer, could not see this or prevent it.

relieved – “that the danger is over and that the cause of the danger is gone”. I have come to this point, however, there’s always the risk that he will become like this again, he changes several times a year (or every other year depending on his triggers) into a new person. When co-parenting, there is no escaping; only managing. It’s best to stay friends and minimize reasons for him to become triggered.

hopeful – “that your life will return to normal; people start to feel more positive about things quite soon after a trauma”. Every person is different. If it was a repeated trauma, or a long term relationship, it could take longer than ‘soon’ as this book says! This perhaps is the less severe case, and milder psychosis. You can’t always agree with everything in a book.

The process of grieving, however, does come to an end, and one can assume they will come back to balance, so long as they don’t return to the relationship as it was. If, in all this effort, he does get some help, I will be grateful, however, with his assumed imbalances (chemical, non-chemical and untreated), it is not likely he will ever heal, or heal completely. The best solution, is gaining strength and power and protecting myself for when he does change again, because most likely he will…in due time. You can’t ever trust a psychopath or a narcissist to stay sweet. Assume he’s only doing doing that, to try to get something, or win whatever game he’s playing. And a Psychopath/or Anti-Social/or Mama’s Boy, is almost always also bipolar, so don’t expect him to stay the way he is right now. You never know when he’ll change his mind!

In God and Goddess’s Arms,

Asttarte

 

Extremely helpful books:

The Manipulative Man, Identify his Behavior, Counter his Abuse, Regain Control,  by: Dorothy McCoy, Ed.D.

Psychopaths and Love, by A.B. Admin

The Sociopath at the Breakfast Table; Recognizing and Dealing with Antisocial and Manipulative People, by: Dr. Jane McGregor & Tim McGregor

Women Who Love Psychopaths; Inside the Relationships of Inevitable Harm With Psychopaths, Sociopaths, & Narcissists, by: Sandra L. Brown, M.A.

Why Does He Do That; Inside the Minds of Angry & Controlling Men, by: Lundy Bancroft

When Dad Hurts Mom: Helping Your Children Heal the Wounds of Witnessing Abuse, by: Lundy Bancroft

Stop Spinning, Start Breathing; Managing the Memories that Keep us Addicted, by: Zari Ballard

Who’s Pulling your Strings; How to Break the Cycle of Manipulation and Regain Control of Your Life, by: Harriet B. Braiker, PhD.

Emotional Vampires; Dealing with People Who Drain You Dry, by: Albert J. Bernstein, PhD

When Love is A Lie; Narcissistic Partners & the Pathological Relationship Agenda, by: Zari Ballard

Other Helpful Books:

Narcissistic Lovers; How to Cope, Recover and Move On, by: Cynthia Zayn & Kevin Dibble, M.S.

Why is It Always About You; the Seven early Sins of Narcissism, by: Sandy Hotchkiss, LCSW

Disarming the Narcissist; Surviving & Thriving with the Self Absorbed, by: Wendy T. Behary, LCSW

The Wizard of Oz and other Narcissists; Coping with the One Way Relationship in Work, Love and Family, by: Eleanor D. Payson, MSW

Boundaries and Relationships; Knowing, Protecting and Enjoying the Self, by: Charles L. Whitfield, MD

The Object of my Affection is In My Reflection; Coping with Narcissists, by: Rockelle Lerner

The Enabler; when helping hurts the ones you love, by: Angelyn Miller, MA

Where to Draw the Line; How to Set Healthy Boundaries Every Day, by: Anne Katherine, MA

Women Who Love Too Much; When you Keep Wishing and Hoping He’ll Change, by: Robin Norwood

Coming Apart; Why Relationships End & how to live through the ending of yours, by: Daphne Rose Kingma

I Know This Much Is True, by: Wally Lamb (Oprah’s Book Club)

 

 

What is igili Healing with the angels?

Questions you might have about igili are:

What is the Igili Energy Therapy?

Igili energy therapy is a light gentle touch energy therapy where one can feel relaxed and at peace within them.

Where did Igili come from?

Igili is a name of a group of 7 angels that came from the Pleiadian times. The Founder of Igili is Victoria Pendragon.

What is the difference between Igili Energy Therapy and other energy therapies?

Igili is so much like the energy of reiki that often people can get the two confused. However, the difference with the energy of Igili is that when the practitioner works on the client, the healing is occurred within the body. Igili energy goes in the body, and stays there so that the person receiving can learn the lesson as to why the imbalanced energies started in the first place. The energy of Igili then works immediately to support the individual in a space of compassion so that these harmful imbalanced energies can be removed. This occurs only through the disintegration of them as they dissolve in time.

There are no guaranties to the healing of Igilli. The only guarantee is your commitment to your own process of healing. I wish you much love and joy on your journey.

Igili Energy Healing from the Angels

Igili (pronounced EE-GE-LE) Energy Healing is a modality that was introduced by a woman named Victoria Pendragon. She channeled in this energy early in 1998.

The energy was brought to and through her by the angels. Igili is a word from the ancient Hebrew language for Angel. In the days when the planets and the Earth were coming into form, billions of years ago, the Angelic energies swamped all levels of reality. Many of the angels who came to earth chose to be embodied as human beings. The angels, who chose not to be in the flesh, chose to work with the elements of Earth, Air, Fire and Water in order to assist the beings that lived on Earth in their physical bodies. The angels that chose to assist the people on Earth with these elements were known as the angels of Igili.

Igili is a successfully transformational energy. Igili recognizes the fact that any pain or disease in the body is only an information- guided energy that the body is not able to absorb. Other modalities pull the trapped energies that are within the body out. This then relieves the body of the information, where the ‘lesson’ would normally have taken place. The mind, body, spirit, and soul are then unable to learn the lesson. However, with Igili, instead of the energy being removed from the body it is integrated within. It disperses within the body and the lesson is learned. The energy is absorbed and the mind, body, spirit and soul can move forward and heal. Igili is a modality that is different than any other. It can be used in conjunction with other forms of healing, although when used alone, one receives the full benefit of the work of the angels. Like other forms of healing it can be used to access the energies in the fields around the body, just as all other forms of energy healing are used.

Igili is an intuitively guided energy just as Reiki, Shamballa, Tera-Mei Seichem, IET, Kundalini, Lotus Light and Frequency Balancing are. There are no special hands positions, nor is there a special order in which to proceed. In using Igili I will go where I sense to place my hands and how to move them just like all the other forms of healing. Although the exceptions are IET and Frequency Balancing, as there are specific movements for these modalities. The flow of the treatment will depend on what is occurring throughout the energies at the time of the session. There is no form or guideline to follow in the session as they are guided through the energies of the angels and the higher power of the creator. Although the one thing that is certain, is that I as the practitioner will be with you whether you can feel me or not. Contact me for a session of Igili.