Men who Overpower

Men who Overpower

Men Who Overpower

Why do some men think they have to get one up over women? If they feel the woman is not sexually aroused by them, they automatically assume she’s shut down, or turned off, when perhaps she just might not be turned on by him! Perhaps they take such offense to it, and have anger about it, that they would rather insult the woman instead. It’s funny! I heard this particular person was screaming and yelling at his wife, right before he decided to insult me! That alone confirmed my intuitive feeling about the person, to not take what he said SO seriously, and instead to consider why he was making the judgments or assumptions without even knowing who I am! (And, for a moment there I was starting to feel doubt about myself, and believe him. That didn’t last long).

We, as women, can be the targets for a lot of male dominant anger, and if we are a gentle soul, nice, kind and grounded, some think they can just walk all over us! However, they cannot just walk all over us, and degrade, insult or put us down. We will find out, our intuitive powers will lead us, guide us, and show us the truth.

So this is what happened: this indian man I meet randomly (last weekend), at a place that’s supposed to be geared for ALL women by the way, tells me that he knows me. He says, “you emailed me saying you liked my article, and wanted to share it!” I said, “Oh, that’s nice!” It was regarding white tantra, and authentic tantra compared to what the western world thinks tantra is. I said, “Ok!” This was probably about 5 or 6 years ago. Then he went to telling me about my energy, that I’m not with a good partner (which he did not know and was none of his business), and telling me how he thought I should be. Now, I had just taken my first Biofeedback Session a few days prior for Lyme Disease, and had been extremely tired, detoxing, and resting. Of course my energy was tired. I knew that, but it doesn’t mean I wouldn’t have gotten through that, and am working on it. He offered his phone number and healing services for free, but said some things I didn’t even choose to remember. They didn’t resonate with me. I looked at him funny! He said, he was a glorified Tantra Master and has been since he was 18 years old. That’s kind of proud and egotistical. And, his energy was not kind or loving. It felt persuasive, aggressive, and controlling, like he had no trouble crossing people’s boundaries, even energetic boundaries. But I stood my ground, watched him talk, say his speech, even accepted the number, smiled and walked away. After that, I stayed away from him, not even making eye contact.

Then I received an anonymous book in the mail from some random person to my name a couple days ago, Asttarte Deva, with no apt number, and no indication of who it was from. Perhaps it was also from this person. It was the book Loving What Is. Now, yes, this is a good book, I already own it. However, sometimes people send these anonymous things as a way of letting me know they are angry, hurt by me, and trying to make me change, when they in themself are hurting by my rejection of them! So, when people send these things without any means of communication, they are playing the passive aggressive role, and almost doing it out of spite, and trying to get back at me. I don’t feed into that bs. If anyone wants my book, I am glad to give it to you as a free gift! 🙂

Honestly, I think this person was horny, perhaps was attracted to me, and then felt insulted I had absolutely NO sexual desire for him! Poor baby!

Right after the exchange we had at the event, I went to another booth with an amazing Shaman and Wiccan, and received a crystal healing session that lasted maybe 15 minutes. After that session, my energy lit up, I felt vibrant, passionate and happy! I chose to go to other places that were uplifting, fun, and lifted me up, saw my light and gifts, and relaxed with some very cool new Goddess friends! 🙂

So, if any man ever insults you for you not being aroused, consider, he might actually be passively telling you he wants you, but in a not so nice way!

 

 

 

Birth Trauma Healing

Birth Trauma Healing

Giving Birth art2Birth Trauma Healing

I had an amazing healing session yesterday, and it was so eye opening I thought I would share it with you. The process was a process of discovery. I had no idea what would show up, but the result was enlightening, empowering and transformational. I discovered later that Charles Muir uses this same exact technique to his students of Tantra who wish to become Daka’s and Dakinis. My experience was beautiful as well.

The intention was a yoni massage, for healing any trauma, anger, or pain stored in the lower chakras. I wanted to address my own issues related to being drawn to unhealthy men, and attachment to those who cannot love me in return. “I am determined!” I said. We were in discovery of The Sexual Practices of Quodoushka. That in itself was interesting, fun and enlightening (to find out what animal you are based on shamanic teachings is pretty fun).

As we went deeper into our healing session, I had the urge to have something “fill me on both sides!” I wanted the feeling of pressure inside my inner walls. We then discovered the pressure my body was asking for was right on the bone, and this is exactly where trauma is stored inside the woman, from rape, abusive relationships and giving birth to a baby. Many women are unable to heal this trauma from just simple talk therapy, or even rape specialists. The emotional energy gets “stuck” in the bone, and in the fascia right on the inner lining of the bone where pressure would have been experienced from the baby’s tiny skull, or from a man penetrating a woman without the woman’s consent, agreement or desire. This was eye opening, and every woman deserves to clear these blocks, if they have them.

Giving Birth art

I discovered around the area of 5 o’clock and 7 o’clock is where most women stored the most rage, trauma and pain and as the giver “watch out!” Her Kali like energy and emotions will rise to the surface and she may want to rip you a new head if you’re inside her performing this healing. I learned that one woman in the tantra training said, “Get the f..k out of me!” This woman had not healed any of her rape yet. I have actually healed a lot of my own trauma, but I had not cleared any birth trauma, and did not even know it was possible. As I got present to my experience, I noticed, “that really hurts!!!” and then I started to really cry, with a little embarrassment. When we went around the clock again and found the Kali spot on me, my friend who was giving the healing said, “Ok, this is the Kali spot you may have anger here.” And, I said, “I’m not angry. Ok, that hurts like hell. What the f**k?” And started pulling on his shirt and smacked it. He said, “Ha ha. Yeah, you’re not angry.” And, I laughed. I thought I handled it pretty darn well actually.

I’ve taken healing trainings to heal trauma for women, and trainings to help them open up to their sexual arousal again from being blocked, but this was awesome! I needed something deeper and this was perfect! How cool is it to receive training when you’re already a practitioner, and can learn one on one pretty quickly! I love it. I discovered this technique can help women who have been sexually shut down to really open back up again to who they were before. And right after the session, I wasn’t afraid to walk through my friends home naked to get my clothes that were in a bag on the opposite side of the room. How cool is that? 🙂 (my friend was outside on the phone, but still that’s progress!)

Women Survivors

Women Survivors


women survivorsWomen Survivors

As a woman who’s a survivor, sometimes things happen in our lives that re-trigger old wounds and bring things back up. Many times we think we are over something that happened in our past, but when something to another seems subtle, and to the survivor it brings back memories of feeling overpowered or violated, we are definitely not 100% over it! I noticed this in my own journey. I am a woman who has conquered much, however, sometimes there are moments of weakness, and I’m learning to use these moments as teachers, as a guide to transform yet again.

After the recent event, when I was in an intimate moment, and a man I was involved with, to him casually put a pillow over my head and I couldn’t breathe for a couple seconds, to me it was the exact thing that triggered me into my old trauma. I said in the moment, “You deserve to be smacked!” after he moved the pillow from my face, and said, “don’t take it so seriously. It was just a joke!” I said, “no, it certainly was not a joke, and not funny!” And, perhaps to some, it may have been seen as a form of Dominance/Submission, as it was only a couple seconds. However, to a survivor, you don’t treat a woman this way, as it definitely will re-activate something dormant. I was hoping I was resolved with this myself, however, it got me present to realize, perhaps I am not totally complete, and that even though I can live my life fully, when these moments happen, it is so important to seek the help one needs to help with the triggers.

Without these moments, one cannot become aware of what is hidden, and perhaps others around you see all the time. And, so I will take action yet again, and do what I myself need to do, to help, to let go, and to return to love!

During times when a woman is re-triggered into rape, what do you do? How do you help her, Or, how do you help yourself?

Things I have done to help when the triggers show up:

~Be Gentle with Yourself, don’t judge yourself as wrong for not being complete, or for having a reaction that to others may not affect.

~Do Yoga as your daily self love practice, meditate, gentle yoga and breathe!

~Call a friend, a loved one, a therapist, a coach, a healer, or if you are religious a priest/someone you trust and feel safe talking to.

~Drink calming tea

~Go for walks if you have the energy

~Do breathwork!

~Rest, watch a movie or read a book if you’re tired

~If you’re a parent, let someone else take care of your child for a while to help you process

~Get flower essences, healing herbs and massage

~Journal, write, and records your feelings, your thoughts and your dreams!

~Cuddle with someone you love!

~Trust, this is just a moment in time, it will soon pass!

“Sometimes, life will kick you around, but sooner or later, you realize you’re not just a survivor. You’re a warrior, and you’re stronger than anything life throws your way.” ~Brooke Davis

Namaste~DSC_0502_1

Asttarte

Sacred Goddess Female Health

Sacred Goddess Female Health

Sacred Goddess Female HealthSacred Goddess Female Health

Every month women go through a cycle of change within their bodies. They have no control over the changes they are experiencing within. They often don’t know what is happening underneath their skin; until all of a sudden they explode with a rush of adrenalin and excitement onto their loved ones, or the innocent recipient as their mirror standing, or listening right before them. Women have powerful surges of emotions that can change from the hormones that go through the upheavel of arousal to its peak, and depletion and sizzling at the hormones come to a place of rest and completion of their cycle.

However, every month, there is the potential for the women to take charge of these feelings. They have the opportunity to observe their bodily changes; their every day moments of expression, and their energy level from a heightened joy and excited energetic response to a stillness from within; a calming agent that makes them rest, sometimes hybernate and perhaps all too often become lethargic or melodic in their rest. Women often have a passion to ignite the release by means of exercise to wild sex; all the way with a fierce power for periods of time, all the way to a gentle feminine power and calmness.

The people around these Goddess’s during their time of changes, all too often don’t know how to support the woman. They themselves may be moved into anger or confusion, and sometimes sadness that they cann’t help her, or doubt in their abilities to be of service; rejecting their own power and strength that they are capable of giving to her. So, the women need to take charge, and until she knows she needs to create balance within her hormonal changes, she cannot rise to the occasion and take care of her bodily experiences.

When a Goddess is consumed by her past, and has not healed all of the hurt inside of her, she may not know that what she is dealing with, is a normal and natural change of her hormonal response. She may need to heal within her hurt, her pain, her anger, sadness or trauma prior to the need to heal the imbalance in her body. Many women in our culture are on “the pill” so their ability to sense the changes within their bodies is limited to the strength of the medication she is on, or perhaps, if she has leveled out and feels at peace with her monthly pill, she may have some awareness of the changes she is experiencing, however, when a woman has gone all naturelle, she will feel ALL of her EVERYTHING that her body experiences, so long as she has healed all of her inner wounds, grief, feelings of her past, and so on from within. Once she has accomplished this, I want to say CONGRATUALTIONS and here are soem things to consider for creating balance on a monthly basis, and help those hormones come to rest:

YOGA FOR PMS
Yoga is general is so wonderful for the body, but there are some specific poses to help the female body expand herself from the inside, and get her circulation moving at a powerful level, and give her a little boost of self love! Some simple yoga poses that stretch the inner thighs, the stomach and the lower back are great for the woman to remind herself how wonderful and beautiful she truly is. BKS. Iyengar has a great Yoga book for Health, and the sequence for PMS is a great place to start!

CRYSTAL HEALING
Moonstone is an excellent stone for the symptoms of PMS and female health. Pietersite is great for balancing the hormones. Kunzite is awesome for calming the mind, dissolving negativity, and protecting the wearer from unwanted energies. It also stimulates sensitivity, sensuality and circulation.
It helps one to be open, strong, loving and vibrant. Tiger’s Eye is excellent to help one feel confident and strong about themselves; along with onyx. they can lift you right up out of a bad mood! Chlorite is an angel stone and great for circulation, a similar vibration to kunzite and the two together have many more benefits than what’s listed here. Blue Calcite alone is great for calming one into a space of peace and love. If no other methods are done, here is something simple to do and add as an aid to meditation, to carry on you, or in your sleep.

AYURVEDIC MEDICINE
Ayurvedic Medicine is a science all unto itself. Consider getting tested to find out your chart and what dosha you rate highest. Most people are a combination of all three dosha’s, but one or two is highest. Once you find out your score, you can take the advice of what it recommended for your type and eat, and live in accordance to what will help you balance the most! It is based off of a score of Kapha, Pitta and Vata, and usually one of those will be your natural tendency, and one or two may be out of sync. There is a diet recommended for each type and I highly recommend trying it during, before and after your moon cycle. It may also keep you balanced the whole month long!

HERBAL TEA
There are some great herbal teas for the female cycle, to balance the energies in the womb, to aid in circulation and health for her female organs and to calm the body and mind. Herbology can be so powerful when utilized and understood!

MEDITATION
Meditation alone can help to calm those nasty nerves and still the mind that often overworks during the height of female hormones. Just sitting for 5 minutes to 15 minutes in the morning before doing anything else, can completely create a day of peace, and when done throughout the day, it will help to maintain this place of balance. Use of a rosary, mala beads, a witches ladder or buddhist prayer beads can help throughout the entire day, but do remember to get the basic things done that are necessary while continuing to come back to your heart!

EXERCISE OR WALKING
If you’re in good shape or you enjoy the feeling from exercise, and it doesn’t harm your body in any way, take up a little walking, or other exercise regime for even 20 minutes a day. It will help keep your spirits high and give you a boost of energy to get your work done.

HEALING BATH
If you have the means to take a bath; alone, without little children running around disrupting you, it is so refreshing to soak in the bubbles, and add your taste of essential oils to your homemade sauna. It is so worth waiting for at the end of the day, and for those lucky ones, anytime you want!

MASSAGE
When you have a man who offers his strong hands on your body during the week or so before your moon, it is so great to just lay back and surrender to the healing he can offer you. When you don’t have someone to give to you easily, consider asking a friend, using self-massage techniques, or treat yourself to a nice relaxing massage (at any place of your choosing). It is so helpful and enjoyable during the time you need it most!

HERBAL MEDICINE
There are a few products out there to help with hormonal balance, and if you’re comfortable with taking herbal remedies, tinctures, essential oils, teas and any thing else above, herbal remedies will be a great addition to balance out your entire nature and help those hormones gain balance and control. Gaia Herbs is a great company and comes out with an herbal remedy for Women’s Balance, and a great product at theforgottenfoods.com under Women’s Health called Sacred Womb.  I also highly recommend the Nutritional Almanac!



If you have any other ideas and you want to add it to this list, please make a comment on this blog, or write to me directly. I will add your suggestion per our conversation and gladly offer it to the women who read this blog! Thank you so much for reading. And I look forward to connecting with you again soon!

Blessings Sisters and Namaste~
Asttarte