Dance, Empowerment and Emotional Healing

Dance, Empowerment and Emotional Healing

Dance and Emotional Healing
Journey Dance

Dance and Emotional Healing

I’ve stumbled upon some miraculous forms of dance as of the past 6 months. I never knew these styles of dance existed, until my ex introduced them to me. I am so grateful to him for that! If you are a spiritual person, into the healing arts, yoga, Shamanic Healing, or just like to try things different, these styles of dance are amazing! It’s hard to even decide what one is my favorite. I’d say all of them!

Journey Dance, great for freedom of expression, live drumming, very Shamanic, and rhythm to the tunes the teacher puts on. Whatever music the teacher decides will make or break the class. You can express yourself and break open limits you have around your ease to feel comfortable in your own body. You can learn to feel pleasure just from movement, your sensual nature and begin a journey of self love.

contact-improv
Contact Improv

Contact Improv, an amazing form of dance mixed with martial arts! It is great for healing the need to feel connected, included, seen, important, loved, and accepted for who you are! This style of dance has you rolling on the floor, over people, and others rolling over you, literally all their weight drops into your body. You learn how to glide into someone standing vertical, using arms, your upper torso, hips, and legs all as tools to move into or away from someone. You learn to use your entire body weight to support your movement. You learn to hold someone with your weight, letting them lean into you, and they support you the same. It’s a lot about surrender and trust. You may lift someone up on your back, or be lifted and supported on theirs, being pulled in towards someone with their arms and all the way

contact improv
Also Contact Improv

behind them, and keeping the connecting where you continue to move in the opposite direction. Gravity becomes your friend, slow movement and your breath is your guide!

 

 

 

5-rhythms
5 Rhythms Dance

5 Rhythms, an amazing transformational style of dance, also very Shamanic. Here, you move at your your own pace, your own rhythm, and the focus is on individual strength, and finding the connection to your internal source of power. This style of
dance works with the different elements, and the music moves you gracefully from one element to another, from the most subtle breath, to the deepest and most rough stomp on the earth. Each element taps into a different part of your psyche, where you take a journey of your soul, from armor, stagnation, depression, repression and fear, to elation, joy, expansion, healing your heart, self love and bliss. This style of dance is empowerment, healing, and breaking barriers to your true self!

open-floor-dance
Open Floor Dance

Open Floor, an amazing new style of dance, well new to the Philadelphia area. This is a major style of emotional healing and dance therapy. Many psychotherapists go to the training as part of their therapy practice to add more skills for their patients. This style of dance, helps one to truly get a feel of all of who they are in a class. It taps into the hidden cells in their body, and almost does an awakenin
g of the inner child, honoring that inner part of you, and letting the child essence of you to become free. Each class is different, and the teacher will bring in new skills to awaken different aspects of your senses, different aspects of your personality, and then at the end everyone gets a chance to share what they got out of the class. Again, the music makes the class, and you move how you feel guided, and can rest or dance assertively, whatever you feel called to do!

freedom-dance
Freedom Dance

Freedom Dance, another amazing style of dance! Here, everyone starts on the floor, laying down, and listening to their breath. This style of dance is like yoga in a dance form. Again, another Shamanic type of dance. The teacher takes you again through the different elements of the earth. In this style of dance, moving through the elements is very obvious and clear. I will be glad to know when this style of dance comes around more often. The teachers are amazing, and again, it is an opportunity to heal hidden aspects of yourself. What was clear about this style of dance, is the level and degree of ones own boundaries, and what they are comfortable expressing, how one is comfortable connecting, or the walls one has up or witnesses in another, and the needs one has to be alone. You may discover your passion for life in this class, and what barriers you need to break through to become a more enlivened and powerful you!

All of these styles of dance are incredible! And, if I could, I’d take a teacher training in one of them!

I’m sharing this with you, because of my love of this art, and new awareness of how much it can help someone heal their internal world, and become free to be who they are!

contemplative-dance
Contemplative Dance

I also love Contemplative Dance! Contemplative Dance started off with a Buddhist meditation, and then slowly we crawled on the floor. Then we move to our own rhythms, solo at first. Moving limbs, breathing and rolling around like a baby almost, in first discovery of having a body. Then we moved more and more into conscious awareness of our muscles, until finally we were all standing. And we explored using sounds, sometimes very loudly, sometimes softly. Then we moved to contact in very fun, unique, and creative ways, almost as a meditation, or yoga style with very slow still and focused steps, until they were fast movements, jumping, bouncing or laughing! It was quite interesting. Give it a try!

 

Healing Lyme

Healing Lyme

img_0131

 

healing lymeHealing Lyme 

Once you’ve figured out you have Lyme Disease, the task to heal it is a rough ride. Whether you’ve had it for a few months, years, or decades, its an intense battle to finally get it completely out of your body. Choosing to either go the Western Medical Doctor route, or the natural medicine route is a big decision.

Choosing the Western Medicine route is a shorter path of healing it, about 6 months (for chronic lyme and a few weeks if detected right away), however, often other complications arise because of it. The medication forces ones body to heal quickly, and remove the toxins at a faster rate. Because of this, it often causes other organs, and parts of the body to have a challenge in the quick changes and they often need more support, and it can cause more problems as a result. Some people choose this route however, and trust the process. I have chosen a different alternative.

Once I found out, and was confirmed of my knowing for many many years, I began an alternative path immediately. I started with homeopathic right away, which I took some videos that are on youtube regarding the detox process just with this treatment.  http://youtube.com/user/AsttarteDeva/videos.  I felt the homeopathics were not enough, and I added a couple products. I had tried mushroom spores, however, they did not agree with my system at first. I tried them again later, but discovered that having a mold and dust allergy actually made them not really be effective.

I added MMS, and got to 15/16 drops. I had to stop once my body started purging it right after taking it.

I added Concentrace (liquid trace minerals traceminerals.com, has electrolytes, and probiotics in it among many other good things),

I took 1 drop of iodine daily in water

I resumed Oil Pulling, with Safflower, Sunflower, Sesame or Coconut oil (great for teeth too).

I resumed the ayurvedic foot massage detox,

I had started Biofeedback treatments (last fall 2015) (very intense), however, the woman I was seeing was hardly available. So, I tried a Zapper (not so successful) and Rife Machine to get for the home (expensive). It’s not as powerful as Biofeedback. They can be found at amazon or eBay.

I started a morning meditation and listening to high frequency sound waves. https://youtu.be/r4qM2ZkwrJA.

I started getting ionic foot detox baths. It pulls all the toxins out of the body. The color of the water determines what organs you are detoxing from.

I’m also planning to get: infrared sauna treatments, and possibly colonics.

I had started zeolites, (a Vit D spray, and Asea), and found after many months it wasn’t doing all that much.

http://cellconnection.teamasea.com/ for raising cell frequency.

Colloidal Silver is also a great thing to take on a daily basis, any kind of immune support and multi vitamin.

Yummy healthy smoothies are an excellent idea, and a healthy diet.

Also adding liquid chlorophyll and wheat grass is great for the immune system.

It is also highly recommended to omit all sugar, vinegar, corn, and all gluten and wheat products. Stopping sugar helps the body to stop building additional candida/yeast and parasites. However, a candida and parasite cleanse is super crucial I have recently discovered, and even more so to kill the source, the eggs that hatch, even after cleaning out the gut, bc they will keep regrowing and you’ll have to start the whole process over again and again.

There are also professional Lyme Specialists, as well as Chinese Herbalists who do acupuncture and treat the Lyme and their co-infections with herbs as an alternative. And, there are other paths as well. There are many paths for healing separate from getting antibiotics. Just make sure you do your detox at a pace you can handle, and afford. If anything seems to be too intense, back off, and let your body settle down first before increasing your dosage again.

And, if you choose the antibiotics route, please do your research first! Currently, there is no vaccination for this, but believe it or not, this disease is now known to be in 1 out of every 5 people. The percentage is high, and its not going anywhere. The only alternative is to get it out of the body, with persistence, commitment, an inner strength and a little knowledge to support you!

(Edited and updated August 6th, 2016)

Viagra vs Tantra Transformation

Viagra vs Tantra Transformation

Viagra vs Tantra Transformation
Viagra vs Tantra Transformation

There are many sources of what is causing your erection to not be as strong as it used to be, and if we find out the source, often we can also find the solution!

I’ve been doing tantra healing work now for over 11 years, and it’s amazing, but even more amazing is having added the tools of tantra, to my previous Reiki Master training, and Energy Healer trainings, along with Life Coaching and Psychotherapy tools. If I hadn’t had all that training, I probably wouldn’t be able to say that I can help someone with sexual dysfunction issues, or trauma stuck in his or her sacral chakra, or solar plexus, heart chakra, or somewhere else.

So what’s amazing, is that I find people who are on the fence with getting viagra, and have heard tons of horrible stories about it, and I stop them right there, and say, “Please DON’T take that stuff!” Too many bad stories about it, and way to dangerous! But what I do tell them is that I might be able to help. Most guys are looking for their erection. They wonder why they have gone limp, and often they are in a long term relationship or marriage when this happens. Most of the guys I have had success with this are 60 and younger. The guys older than this, the success rate is less, because it turns into a health issue and then we have to address the health. I don’t have as much experience of success helping it from a health standpoint, but I am learning and may take some further training so I do have more success.

However, if it is psychological, mental, emotional, or an energetic or spiritual reason, I can certainly help! Often it is one of these. For example, if you’re having trouble with your erection, but you’ve been in a relationship for a long time, most of the time, it is due to issues within the relationship, and we will move into Relationship Coaching to discuss the patterns in the relationship, or issues that might be causing some distance. If you don’t feel distant from your partner, and the relationship is going well, then it is an issue with yourself, something internal you are feeling, something you need to process and let go of, or perhaps something you need to forgive yourself for, or someone else.

Another example, if you are angry at your girlfriend/wife/partner and you are unable to get aroused, there’s your answer; the anger. Perhaps you have suppressed the anger and think you can ignore it, but then your body is telling you clearly that you cannot ignore it, by your loss of arousal or erection, then we can get to work on processing the source of the anger. If your partner has been blaming you for something, or judging you, or not appreciating or respecting you for something, and then you go to have sex with her, and are unable to get aroused, sorting through your own feelings about how she had been treating you up to this point, is what will help the erection come back.

Another option, is if you have a pattern of losing interest in being in relationship with someone, let’s say for 3 months or 6 months, and a year has gone by in a newer relationship, and the sex just doesn’t seem to be working as well as it did in the beginning, we may need to address some deeper core issues around commitment, intimacy, and the desire for freedom. This falls more into attachment styles, and if you have a tendency to be dismissive or avoidant in your relationships, and don’t know why you have lost your interest to be close, intimate or even sexual, we will look at the source of this.  Often it is something way deeper than you think!

Another possibility is if you are still in love with your ex! Let’s say you got into a new relationship and perhaps at your core, were not done grieving your ex, there’s a chance that you still are in love with your ex, and the energy between you and your ex also is still attached. This happens on a psychic level, and we will then do a spiritual energy cleansing process I call Cord Cutting, to help detach you from your ex, so you can feel your own body, and experience your life from a fresh start!

To go deeper into this possibility (still being in love with your ex), let’s say you are still in a committed marriage or relationship, and you decide to open it up and have an affair or perhaps your wife/beloved is fully aware of you seeing someone else, and your body is not a match for the decision you made! Your body, and your genitals, are telling you, that you are still committed to someone else, and you may have guilt, or a lack of integrity with yourself about the new relationship! Then you may be fully ok with dating, friendly, happy, playful, and can cuddle and even have great foreplay, but when the act of sex comes around, you shut down!

Massage and stimulation won’t alter your bodies response to what’s going on inside of you. If your erection is weak, or missing all together, the answer is not a physical stimulation, or even a drug that changes your physical reaction. The answer is what is underneath your bodies response. Our bodies are very powerful tools for what is going on inside of us, and whether you are a man or a woman, it doesn’t make a difference. Your body will communicate to tell you what is going on emotionally, mentally, energetically, and spiritually. We are a spiritual body, and often the answer to a pain, or in this case, a lack of arousal, you have to look much deeper than the physical. You can stimulate for hours and days upon days, until your sore or bruised, but it won’t transform the reaction until you do the real work; whats waiting inside of you; your heart, your feelings, your core emotional and spiritual self!

There are many sources of what is causing your erection to not be as strong as it used to be, and if we find out the source, often we can also find the solution!

Much Love and Joy to your passionate journey of yourself!

Asttarte

TrueTantra.net and AsttarteDeva.com

Integrity and Sexual Energy

Integrity and Sexual Energy

Integrity and sexual energyIntegrity and Sexual Energy

Scenario: I am greeted by my ex-lover with a friendly hello. He shows up spontaneously where I tell him I’ll be. We speak in tongue with joy, ease and lightness. He asks to find out what I’m doing over the next few days, with enthusiasm, excitement, and curiosity. The next day I send information on events that look fun, and things we have in common. I hear nothing back. The day after, I send more information on very cool events, and hear nothing back. The next day, he finally responds, and says, “I never said we were definitely doing anything. I told you I may have had to work.” Now, I already had plans, but I was willing to be flexible to meet him. However, the lack of communication, being left in the dark, confused of if this person would want to meet or not, was emotionally and physically debilitating. Not in a real debilitating sense, however, a psychic one.

If someone you care for exclaims they want to get together, and leaves on that note, and then later completely disappears and doesn’t respond, its confusing for the psyche. It leaves someone in the unknown, and in a way, its how they keep their control on you. This then impacts the heart chakra. For women, and men, who care for their loved one, and were left feeling joyous they would meet very soon, but then never heard a word from them, its like giving mixed messages. The heart then is confused. The heart doesn’t know whether to be open, or shut down, out of this loved one saying one thing, feeling enthusiastic, and doing another, and being distant.  Here, I will discuss how this affects the heart chakra and ones sexual energy.

3dheartsufferingsm-a2d

When you leave your loved one thinking you’ll meet or at least talk in a day or two, are excited about the possibility, and then never hear from them, your spiritual body goes through a complex process of releasing someone’s lack of honesty. If you believe someone whole heartedly, at least to the point that their enthusiasm and encouragement on meeting was real, then you expect them to follow through with getting in contact.

However, when you hear nothing, you may begin to question:

  • why you trusted them in the first place,
  • why you were so excited and doubt yourself thinking maybe they never did want to meet
  • question if you were confused about their intentions
  • or perhaps be angry that they said one thing and did another
  • or perhaps try to give them the benefit of the doubt that they never confirmed anything

However, if someone said they wanted to do something and would be in touch, and then they don’t, they are clearly lying. They are giving you mixed messages and making you believe them, to either side, whether they wanted to meet, or didn’t want to. This is insanity and crazy. There’s no reason to believe someone like this. They are in. They are out. Who knows! It depends on what they feel like, and not on how you feel or what they said.

This affects the heart chakra, and the heart then shuts down. It may shut down to this person, but also to other people when you were wide open, loving, enthusiastic and trusting, to then being confused, perhaps sad, and closing off your trust. When the heart chakra gets toyed with, has sadness, disappointment, or feels betrayed, it then impacts the sexual arousal, the root and second chakras (the arousal of a female and male’s sexual organs), and erection for men would be difficult, and arousal and juiciness for women would disappear. This type of person is possibly harmful to someone’s psyche and best to walk away, unless you are unattached, and don’t care about an outcome either way, and have a laissez faire attitude about it. If you do care, and your feelings matter, find your enthusiasm with someone who can be trusted! You never know what you’re going to get with someone who can’t follow through with what they say. And, its certainly not fun! And we do want all the fun we can have, especially for the summer! So, as they say in one of my favorite movies: “Pish, tosh!” (Throw it away!)

LoveSexandTea.com/Love-Coaching

Letting Your Heart Open

letting your heart openLetting Your Heart Open

After it has been months, or even perhaps years, after a relationship has ended (even if it was over before it was officially over), its a risk to open your heart again. Its important to take the time after the ending of a relationship to mend your heart, grieve, and let go of the past. However, when a new person, who you fancy, desire, have attraction for, and matches who you are, your vibration, your life practices, the things you love, your compatibility, perhaps your spirituality, and you have similar goals and desires for life, it seems like a fit. When your chakras are aligned or the level of awakening and development you have accomplished is a match to someone, it feels like you’re in heaven. Why not take the risk, and surrender to someone like this?

Well, after not having been with someone in a while, it can be scary. It takes guts to your open heart again. It takes being brave, especially to those who have gone through such challenging relationships in the past. But once you have loved, the ability to love will always return. Sometimes you need a little push. And, someone who’s a match is a perfect push to jump over that edge.

Have you ended a relationship not too long ago, and have fear of diving in with someone new? Are you afraid to get too close? And, if you feel like you’re getting close, do you immediately start to pull away or push away as soon as it gets comfortable?

Letting your heart open is a brave and amazing thing. It feels magical, like bliss, heaven, and the feeling of a new love, a new sweetheart can be scary, but it also can be utterly exciting! You don’t know the other person that well yet. You are in the discovery, the exploration, the journey, the ride. Let it be fun! Take the risk, and ride the wave of love! You might just land in the other persons arms, and be embraced with love like you’ve never known.

And, you do never know. The unknowing can be scary, and it can also be fun!

Desire After Being Single

desire after being singleDesire After Being Single

What happens after you’ve spent a long time being single after a breakup? I know there are many of you out there. You end a long term relationship with someone, for very psychological reasons, and choose to be alone to get over them fully, not jumping into a new relationship out of fear of being alone. You are perfectly content with being alone, and don’t choose to get involved with someone creating what they call a “rebound relationship”. Your desire starts coming back, and you want to make the right choices with who to be with. This is more a Relationship Coaching post (that I would normally post on MyLoverMyBestFriend.wordpress.com), however, there are also elements of Tantra in it as well.

You have a craving for passion, and yet, aren’t finding partners you feel aligned with, are not a good match, or perhaps aren’t even attracted to at all. Perhaps you’ve become more serious, or want to choose more seriously, not jumping into something out of lust or sexual frustration. However, you also have needs. You are a human being. Needs for pleasure and desire are perfectly normal.

What have you done to take care of those needs? What you choose to do, hopefully is done out of healthy reasons. Some, I’m sure will go to bars, strip clubs, and some men out there even go so far as calling a prostitute, a surrogate, or sexual healer. However, those aren’t always an option, and sometimes they are not good choices.

Going to Cuddle gatherings is a great way to receive the nurturing touch you need, and perhaps find a new play partner at the same time.

Finding someone who is willing to be a cuddle buddy, or be a buddy in general is a great solution.

Finding a friend who is a casual connection and there is a attraction as well, is a great way to support that need for passion and desire.

Perhaps you want to find someone who would love to do a massage trade is a good answer.

Perhaps joining a group of something you’re interested in.

Perhaps a poly group, a swingers club, or even a book club.

And, some like to go to events such as Om (Orgasmic Meditation) through One Taste to fulfill their needs.

And others like to just hang out with friends, looking for that special someone and practice orgasms for one.

Whatever you choose, know you are not alone! There are others out there too, and you can find ways to fulfill your desires in your way, and in your own style!

How Do You Nurture Yourself?

How Do You Nurture Yourself?

how do you future yourselfHow Do You Nurture Yourself?

How you nurture yourself all depends on what it is you are dealing with in your personal life.

Are you dealing with health matters?

Are you having relationship challenges and feeling your partner at arms length?

Is your family avoiding you and ignoring you or your feelings?

Are you having a higher level of stress and anxiety than normal?

Are you feeling more angry than normal, more tired than normal?

Are you feeling isolated, alone, sad?

How do you nurture yourself in these different situations? They each have different paths one would take to feel better, heal, come to solutions or happiness depending on the circumstance.

The first thing that is helpful is to do a daily meditation practice. You can start with 10 minutes, 15 minutes, 20 minutes, or 30 minutes. Just that short window of time will make you feel so much better. some people like to jump in and start with an hour. If you have the time, go for the hour. If not, try a smaller time frame.

Then do something that’s going to nurture your soul, perhaps a new spiritual practice, such as yoga, chakra healing, reading a spiritual book, learning about angels, crystals, breath work, or even getting acupuncture, massage or a reiki treatment.

Another excellent practice is drinking a specific tea that is helpful for your situation. There are many teas on the market, and many you can make at home. Most teas are made with natural herbs and are a cheaper solution than buying multiple bottles of different herbs, or oils. Herbs and essential oils can be costly when buying in bulk, but teas are very affordable. Try to match your situation with the type of tea that would be helpful for that. If you don’t know, try seeking a tea expert, an herbalist, or feel free to reach out to me for suggestions.

Next, write down everything that is going on. It is very helpful to write down your feelings, and using your writing as a sort of therapy. Writing is very cathartic and sometimes when you write down what you feel, what happened, and the situation, it can help you let it go and feel so much better about things. Then you are able to move on from it, and almost feel empowered that you expressed yourself. Some people don’t like to write, but try pushing yourself a little, via a wordpress document, in notes on your computer, or even writing in a spiral notebook or nice journal book. It sometimes feels very good to write things down with a real pen or pencil. It touches a different part of the brain and releases energy pent up in your throat and lower chakras, believe it or not. It’s not going to have the same benefit as a meditation, or chakra healing, but it is still quite powerful.

Are you an artist, musician or do you like doing things with your hands? This could be a great way to nurture your inner self, and help get through a challenging event, experience, or point in your life. You don’t have to be an expert. As long as you do it, put your heart into it and are intentional, anything you do can be helpful, and in the end, amazing!

What is it you are dealing with? Talk to me here! I’m happy to respond!

Vulnerability into Pleasure

vulnerability into pleasureVulnerability into Pleasure

Many people think tantra is just a term and an excuse to be sexual and erotic.
That is the furthest from the truth of what tantra truly is.
The purpose of tantra is not to be erotic
But to be loved.
How is tantra a path to feel love, but not feel erotic?
The answer is, it’s both.
Safety and love must come before feeling sexual, period.
If someone tries to feel erotic before feeling safe and love,
they’re skipping too many steps ahead.
Go back a few steps, and you might end up where you want to be.
Maybe you don’t need to feel safe.
Maybe you don’t have a single bone of softness in you.
Maybe you can jump into the sexual, before the sensual.
There is a layer of vulnerability there, you are unwilling to see.
Consider every human has fragile emotions.
You might just be covering yours up with erotic energy.
Slow down a little bit, and you’ll feel love energy.
Give your partner a chance to catch up to your sexual energy,
and you’ll both be a match
And intimate love will never be the same.

Do you feel anxious, irritable or frustrated?
What is it you are not letting yourself feel?
What are the feelings that are hiding underneath the surface?
What emotions are you hiding from?
What feelings popped up in a moment, and then went away soon after?
The pop up feelings are a clue. Dig deeper.
Surrender to them. Breathe into them. Feel them.
Notice. Investigate. Become a detective to your own feelings.
Is it anger? Breathe into anger.
Is it sadness? Breathe into sadness.
It is regret? Breathe into regret.
Is it despair? Breathe into despair.
Is it joy? Breathe into joy.
Is it love? Breathe into love.
Any feeling you feel, and breathe into, will make the feeling bigger, and either move through your body and let go, or feel more love, more joy, and more pleasure as you breathe into them.
Breathing into anger, despair, regret, sadness is loving them, and they will surrender, breathe through you, drop into nothingness, and transform into pleasure.
Tantra is a path of healing.
What is it you are healing today?
What parts of yourself are you expanding?
How will you shift vulnerability into pleasure today?

No one is ever going to be the same energy level at exactly
the same time every time you desire it.
Someone is going to have to slow down and be patient for the other.
It’s never about forcing someone to meet you where you are,
But always about surrendering to meet them where they are.
Are you surrendering to your Beloved?
Are you making them feel safe, or threatened?
Are you putting frustration onto them, or love?
Can you go deeper into surrender with yourself?
With your lover?
It just might turn your frustration into bliss.
Don’t forget to breathe.
The breath is the key!
It is your vehicle. Your teacher. Your friend. Your lover.
Your life force. Your heart. A connection to your soul
Something SO much bigger than you.
It is your gift!
And you have it with you all the time.

Note: Read this again after meditating, and it will make more sense!

Love, Asttarte

Sacred Foot Massage

Sacred Foot MassageBubbles, warm water, and lavender oil await your longing feet to be touched, pampered and adored for an hour of intimate bliss and love! To be touched, and embraced with kindness opens up the heart, clears ones energy, and allows one to surrender into the experience of receiving; being nurtured, pampered, appreciated, respected and offered unconditional love.

I love watching someone melt, and relax in peace, knowing they are in safe arms, cared for, and can surrender their true feelings. It is fulfilling to give the gift of love, and be received with gratitude that they allowed you to help release their stresses, sadness, or anxiety, and opened their heart.

Sacred Foot Massage is much more than a massage. It is a full body experience of bliss, energy cleansing, pampering, and opening up to the greater gift of ones own heart, as the heart melts its fears, worries, concerns and stresses, and can relax into the unknown, as though time was nonexistent. A true healing experience in formed, and with delight and trust, sometimes ones heart opens even greater and tears of love release from the body, as the stress leaves and changes form.

The opposite of stress and anxiety is bliss. As the body shifts the stress, it opens up to a kundalini wave of energy flowing that takes over and manifests as bliss. Bliss is a full body feeling of pleasure, however, pleasure does not necessarily mean sexual. It can mean a spiritual cleansing of ones own energy center. In many cases, however, orgasm manifests, and takes over inside and outside, as deeper breaths rise, energy expands and love abounds!

Sacred Foot Massage includes a consultation/coaching part of the session, discussion of current or recent issues, blocks and obstacles, and desires of where to arrive/goals to achieve. Then the session includes a hand to the heart, guided deep breathing, and then getting ready to soak the feet in a tub of warm bubbly water. Then massage is experienced on one foot at a time, dripping water to the rest of the leg, and massaging the rest of the leg. Then the other foot and leg is done. Often a blanket will rest over the upper part of the body, with a pillow behind the persons head and room to stretch out as they relax deeper. After the feet are done, deeper massing into the thighs is experienced, and then more of a sensual nature massage takes form. As the person surrenders they may experience full body orgasm, and as they come to rest, I may rest my hand on their heart again, or put my arm around them to allow them to surrender into the bliss and love just received. Sometimes it takes a moment to get grounded and integrate from this experience, so I will sit with them and hold them until they feel settled and ready to get up.

This is an example of one of the Spiritual Tantra Sessions I offer. There are many other examples.

Much Love and Blessings,

Asttarte

How All Sessions Go

how all sessions goHow All Sessions Go

No matter what you’re looking for, no matter what your focus is, your goals, intentions, or needs, or “program” you feel fits you best, we will always have a conversation and coaching part of a session, prior to anything else. Before meeting, we will have a pre-screening process to determine your level of spiritual experience, interest and what your next steps of spiritual growth are. Then we determine if we are going deeper into a spiritual healing session (which always precedes any tantra work), or if we are doing more of a Coaching Session, which always precedes any Sex or Intimacy Coaching as well.

Even if someone is coming for health reasons, holistic healing, general massage, or emotional healing (such as grief work, anxiety, depression, anger, a break up, a death in the family, a challenge with their relationship or their sexual concerns), we will still have a coaching aspect to any session.

If someone comes for Erectile Dysfunction, or Pre-mature Ejaculation, we will still have Coaching and/or Counseling prior to any Session, to determine if it is energetic and emotional reasons, or health related, and the best approach to take.

If someone comes for Intimacy Issues and is manifesting the wrong partner, we will go into Coaching, to determine what the pattern is, the history of all relationships, the types of relationships manifested, and the common theme of what all the issues in those relationships come up. We may do emotional healing or energy clearing to release the blocks to the previous partners, or go into a Cuddle Session and Chakra Healing work, however, Coaching and all sorts of talking is part of the session, and is addressed in the same session.

Prior to any hands on or touching aspect of any session, spiritual healing work takes place. Often it is a meditation, chakra clearing session, or a tantra meditation, however, there are other tools used prior to hands on work that may be needed, but it is not determined what is best until after meeting and the issues that are important to work on. (And, if a talking aspect to a session is needed and takes a larger amount of time, and then a spiritual healing is needed after, a longer session would be recommended, or multiple sessions to get all aspects covered).

Sometimes Reiki or Aura Clearing is needed in order to do any hands on work. Reiki energy helps moves the energetic blocks and frees up the space around a person so they radiate a higher frequency. The energy around a person is often more significant then their physical body, and any layers that are guarded or heavy will need cleansing before physical touch and closeness. If someone’s energy is too heavy, too chaotic, anxious or fear based, I will either suggest seeking solely Spiritual Healing (with myself or another practitioner first), or a professional therapist to do emotional healing work (or they can work with me on this level also if they feel comfortable). Then after these layers have been addressed, we can move into more physical healing work.

The page Spiritual Healing Coaching talks more about healing the aura, energy body, and spiritual healing. Every step counts and one leads to the next layer of creating a full body experience of bliss, joy, and profound peace and satisfaction!

And even working on healing the emotional layers of a person, can certainly and DEFINITELY take one to joy! Underneath all challenging feelings is love, and no matter what lays on top, love is always waiting!

Angry Cock

AngryCockAngry Cock

It might sound funny, but it is exactly what energy radiates from someone’s shaft if he himself is angry! I don’t mean being angry in one moment either. I mean, if his over-all personality, energy and mood is the majority of the time filled with anger, frustration, resentment, annoyance or even sexual frustration. When a woman goes to massage a male’s genitals, however he is feeling on the inside, his deeper core emotions, his cock will feel the exact same thing!

The energy of a man’s cock will take on the energy of his entire self. And, if he is desiring to connect with his beloved, she too, will feel the anger radiating off of him. She will feel his annoyance, and frustration, his impatience, his neediness, and overall anger beaming energy right off of his sacred area, in addition to his heart chakra, and everywhere else around him.

If his energy is angry and filled with these emotions mentioned above, often times a woman won’t want to connect with him, or will have a difficult time, because that energy is not a welcoming feeling. That energy actually pushes people away in the opposite direction, probably the opposite too of what he wishes they would do. An angry cock feels toxic, heavy and the opposite of loving; exactly what women desire to feel. And, if he is trying to connect to a woman, the best way to go about it, is for him to clear his angry energy first.

How Do You Clear Your Angry Cock?

The first step is to acknowledge that you might be angry. Even, if the majority of the time you think you are pretty peaceful, consider, that its possible your energy is not as peaceful as you think.

It’s possible that your cock is not angry, however, it still may have stress-filled energy around it that is causing the people, or person, in your life to have a certain reaction. And, even if that reaction is that she cannot orgasm or orgasms very little, that too is an indication that your energy is not as pure as your lover needs it to be.

The next step after acknowledging that your cock, and whole energy being, might have a certain frequency that is causing women around you to have a certain reaction, is to do your personal work.

How do you do that? The term processing might be overrated, but that’s one practice that is helpful. Find someone to talk to about your feelings, get it out in the open, and stop trying to deal with the stuff in your life all alone!

The next thing would be to take on spiritual or peace inducing practices; such as meditation, yoga, tai chi, chi gong, acupuncture, walks in nature, baths, drinking tea, etc.

Beyond this is to get a massage, but not just for the sexual frustration; the whole gamut! Get a massage, or energy healing session to release pent up energy in your entire being; your neck, shoulders, chest, back, hips, thighs, calves, hamstrings, arms, hands, feet, ankles, etc. And, when it’s time to remove pent up energy in your genitals, do it with consciousness, not with any intention to release an orgasm (not for a while at least), and remove any blocked energy of anger around your shaft.

This post is not just for women guys! It’s for men to truly get your woman, and help yourself so that you can clear and open yourself to be a match for what she desires; the authentic loving you she desired when you first met, those many moons ago!

So clear your energy and your cock feels peaceful, loving, and ultimately sexy! Isn’t that what you want your loved one(s) to feel from you anyway? 🙂

Slow Sex is Best

Slow Sex is Best

Sex, sex, sex! Everyone loves to talk about sex! But sex to one person may mean something completely different to someone else. To one person it may mean going out to dinner, having a few glasses of wine, and coming home to jump in the bed with their hunny. To another, it may mean to stay in, put everything on hold, and do it right there on the spot, spontaneously wherever they feel like it. And to another, it may mean slow foreplay, lots of intimate massage, then taking as long as possible before removing their external articles, and moving as slowly as possible after.

Most people, and in particular, most guys, think the faster the better, but that can’t be further from the truth. Guys, and women too, feel a peak of desire, and want to rush to feel some form of satisfaction. They crave the feeling of pleasure, get impatient and even become aggressive with their own body. They almost in a sense, are taking out that sense of impatience and anger on them-self, for having waited to be intimate, and don’t realize that the slower they go, they more healing, nurturing and joy they experience within. And, too, the slowness creates an energy flow, the chi, and taoist energy movement, that allows even an emotional connection to their body, feelings and experience to take place. Sometimes, the slower, the more sensual and the more emotional. Often, there is no healing without slowness, no emotional connection, no vulnerability, no sadness, and also no electric orgasm either.

There are many vibrators out on the market, and many of them, have a speed that is much too fast to allow the person to have a true tantric emotional connection or healing experience. These ‘toys’ are targeted more for people who are unable to orgasm without them, and all too often, they over-stimulate a woman, creating a somewhat dependence on the toys, and it sets the woman up for being unable to have any pleasure or release with her own partner (or herself for that matter). She then needs the toy after being with her partner, and then her husband, or boyfriend, etc. feels left out, unloved, not included in her pleasure, and it sets him up to feel failure as a lover; which is probably completely off base. She just trained herself to received pleasure from some foreign object, and can’t experience pleasure without it. Guys, it’s not your fault!

However, there is hope! Women can retrain themselves to slow down, and men can feel the satisfaction of connecting with his sweetheart and beloved deeply once again! First, I’d like to say, is that it IS possible. You first have to put the toy away. Hide it in a trunk, or the attic for a while. Try something different. Try slowing down, breathing, working with your own energy, your own breath, a gentle touch, and let your emotions come to the surface. It will create a spiral and circulating effect of self love, love for your partner, and a connection much deeper than two people experiencing a superficial orgasm at two separate times and in two different ways can ever do.

If two people in a relationship, are both desiring to be sexual, get close, but one is angry, another is frustrated, depressed, or experiencing anything other than love, fast sex often seems like the quick solution to connect and attempt to make all those feelings go away. But, those feelings don’t go away, without acknowledging them, truly feeling them, being with them, and loving them into disappearance.

Slow sex, and slow intimacy is the only way to truly acknowledge your partner, love him or her, and create a connection that is worth experiencing. Why rush when you can have so much more? 

 

Arousal as Energy Movement

Arousal as Energy MovementArousal as Energy Movement

What happens after a relationship ends, or you have taken an enormous amount of time to be alone? (The relationship might as well be over if that’s the case). And definitely the case if your partner had a fear of intimacy. (Search the keyword Intimacy for more posts on this topic).

What happens to your body after you’ve gone through the grieving and letting go process, and you’re ready to start dating again, or having an interest in connecting with others after all that time?

What usually happens, is your body will start telling you that you are ready. It will have desires with certain people you are attracted to, or give you sudden urges and nudges to push you to talk to someone. But what happens when you’re by yourself, and you are starting to finally open up again after all that time alone? Your body may have waves of energy movement, or jolts of sudden arousal. It may feel orgasmic, but then when you go to pleasure yourself, you may still feel certain blocks to experience a full body experience of arousal, i.e.. orgasm.

The arousal is your bodies way of telling you that you have gotten through most of the grieving process of your ex lover (husband, wife, etc) and it has achieved a level of balance, equilibrium and harmony of energy and wants to move to a higher place of joy. You completed the cycle of sadness, solitude and aloneness after the hard core break up. You took the time you needed to rest, recover, release anxiety, stress and sadness from your previous beloved, and now your body has awaken, and it wants to wake you up to match how it feels.

It can happen anywhere; your kitchen while you are cooking a meal, your car while singing to a song you love, cleaning your home, reading, talking to a friend, or even meditating or taking a bath. When your body is ready to open to a higher level of pleasure, it doesn’t matter what you are doing or who you are with. It will move and rise within you no matter what!

If you talking to a friend in person or over the phone and you definitely don’t want that friendship to turn into something different, be careful! You may want to hang up the phone or leave the current situation to allow your body to experience how it’s feeling. Otherwise, that friendship might just turn romantic pretty quickly!

If you want the friendship to turn into something else, and your friend had been waiting for you to be ready and open, awesome! Or, you are neutral and don’t care if this person will remain your friend or turn into something else, that may be time to have a discussion. However, if you have the discussion on the spot, changes will happen almost dramatically! A more rational stand would be to walk away, take care of yourself, and then talk to your friend later after the feeling of sexual arousal and frustration has calmed down.

I’ve discovered a practice called the Deer Exercise for women and men in my recent search on this topic. This is a taoist energy practice to help move and awaken someone who has been suppressed or shut down for a long time. If you are no longer suppressed and feel the energy already excited, this practice may actually just balance you and help release some of the pent up sexual frustration, and perhaps help you relieve the sexual frustration a little easier. However, I find the Shamanic Breathwork and Tantra Meditations to be more powerful. Whatever you choose is your choice, and your body will let you know what is best!

Feel free to give the Deer Exercise a try. Who knows it might help! If anything it will help keep your energies open and your body in overall health and vitality! Enjoy!

For women:

For men and women:

Advanced Aura Clearing Practices

Heart Opening

Heart Opening

Heart Opening

I am so utterly and deeply grateful for this past weeks experience, of heart opening, divine inner union, peace and love, and deep connected healing intimacy. As a practitioner, I too, need nurturing, love and connectedness from those who are not my followers or clients, but also to those on a personal intimate level. It has been near one year since my Beloved and I parted ways, and I knew this time, it would sadly be the last. I’ve taken this past year in grieving, letting go, and doing what I could to heal my heart. However, the experience this past week took me over the edge of that heart opening in a way that has been needed for perhaps years.

I went to a spiritual retreat, one that had similarities near and dear to my heart. I’ve been going to see Amma since 1999, however, this event, was unique. Not only did I get to experience the love, kindness and healing of the guru who was leading the retreat, but also got to experience a connected love with a special being who was at this retreat. Perhaps we were breaking a rule, in connecting on an intimate level, however, my heart was screaming yes, and my spirit was leading the way. My soul made the choice to follow this feeling, and in doing so, my heart got to receive a deep connection of love that had kept it guarded for many years. A being who shares love, without concern, without judgment, or body armor, and can just be in the moment, listening, with presence, being intuitively guided, and following his own heart, speaks loudly to my own being. To be touched with divine presence, listening, and an inner knowing, left me speechless, and in absolute joy. My heart broke open as tears ran down my face. He had no idea how long I had been waiting for this heart connection, one that I cannot teach. This way of being must come from within. This way of being must already be known from the lover connecting to the lover. I cannot make another person learn how to be present, to know how to love without pressure, or neediness, clinginess, demanding energy or fear. Whoever, you are, you must come from a place of deep love, and this love is already a part of you. I am grateful to have connected with a being who could offer this, and offer it without expectation.

When a woman receives love in such a way, she has an opportunity to open up her flower, to open up her beauty, her radiance, her power, her pleasure and her joy. She cannot be forced to connect with another. She cannot be expected to be wide open immediately. She must trust her inner knowing, her instincts, and her truth. In this, an expansiveness arises and healing returns!

Love,

Asttarte

He inspired me to let go of worry, and write a book about a topic most definitely needed. I am jumping on this creative passion right now!

Birth Trauma Healing

Birth Trauma HealingBirth Trauma Healing (blog for women)

I had an amazing healing session yesterday, and it was so eye opening I thought I would share it with you. The process was a process of discovery. I had no idea what would show up, but the result was enlightening, empowering and transformational. I discovered later that Charles Muir uses this same exact technique to his students of Tantra who wish to become Daka’s and Dakinis. My experience was beautiful as well.

The intention was a yoni massage, for healing any trauma, anger, or pain stored in the lower chakras. I wanted to address my own issues related to being drawn to unhealthy men, and attachment to those who cannot love me in return. “I am determined!” I said. We were in discovery of The Sexual Practices of Quodoushka. That in itself was interesting, fun and enlightening (to find out what animal you are based on shamanic teachings is pretty fun).

As we went deeper into our healing session, I had the urge to have something “fill me on both sides!” I wanted the feeling of pressure inside my inner walls. We then discovered the pressure my body was asking for was right on the bone, and this is exactly where trauma is stored inside the woman, from rape, abusive relationships and giving birth to a baby. Many women are unable to heal this trauma from just simple talk therapy, or even rape specialists. The emotional energy gets “stuck” in the bone, and in the fascia right on the inner lining of the bone where pressure would have been experienced from the baby’s tiny skull, or from a man penetrating a woman without the woman’s consent, agreement or desire. This was eye opening, and every woman deserves to clear these blocks, if they have them.

Birth Trauma Healing

I discovered around the area of 5 o’clock and 7 o’clock is where most women stored the most rage, trauma and pain and as the giver “watch out!” Her Kali like energy and emotions will rise to the surface and she may want to rip you a new head if you’re inside her performing this healing. I learned that one woman in the tantra training said, “Get the f..k out of me!” This woman had not healed any of her rape yet. I have actually healed a lot of my own trauma, but I had not cleared any birth trauma, and did not even know it was possible. As I got present to my experience, I noticed, “that really hurts!!!” and then I started to really cry, with a little embarrassment. When we went around the clock again and found the Kali spot on me, my friend who was giving the healing said, “Ok, this is the Kali spot you may have anger here.” And, I said, “I’m not angry. Ok, that hurts like hell. What the f**k?” And started pulling on his shirt and smacked it. He said, “Ha ha. Yeah, you’re not angry.” And, I laughed. I thought I handled it pretty darn well actually.

I’ve taken healing trainings to heal trauma for women, and trainings to help them open up to their sexual arousal again from being blocked, but this was awesome! I needed something deeper and this was perfect! How cool is it to receive training when you’re already a practitioner, and can learn one on one pretty quickly! I love it. I discovered this technique can help women who have been sexually shut down to really open back up again to who they were before. And right after the session, I wasn’t afraid to walk through my friends home naked to get my clothes that were in a bag on the opposite side of the room. How cool is that? 🙂 (my friend was outside on the phone, but still that’s progress!)

See original post at blog for women at HealingSacredWoman.com

Overeaters, Weight Loss and Yoga

Overeaters, Weight Loss and Yoga

overeaters-weight-loss-and-yoga-3For Overeaters, Weight Loss and Yoga

Health Coaching for those who wish to lose weight!

As soon as you notice you are bloated, gassy, and you ate something that made your stomach feel heavy, weighs you down, and made your stomach stick out more than your normal diet of healthy foods, pay attention to that!!!!! Notice…..write that food down!!!! And don’t eat it again (for a LONG time), and perhaps, maybe, eat a grapefruit the next time you have the craving, drink some water, or just meditate and focus on the feeling in your body!!! What you could do, now this is just what I do, you have free will, but you could go into yoga poses that enhance the release of the gas!!! Literally, make yourself fart!!!! There are a bunch of yoga poses that help do that!!! And do them! And, even rest. Sometimes when we eat foods that make us feel gross inside, it affects everything else too, and we just need to relax, lay down, or sit. That could be a great time to meditate. Do your journaling of your food diet, or whatever else you want to journal about, read, etc. Don’t let other people push you around. Just do what’s going to heal you, and make YOU feel good!

 

Excellent alternative for those who can't go deep into the stretch right away. Props are used to support the body to rest fully. One can also use a prop under the buttocks if yours knees bend but can't get the buttocks down to your ankles.
Excellent alternative for those who can’t go deep into the stretch right away. Props are used to support the body to rest fully. One can also use a prop under the buttocks if yours knees bend but can’t get the buttocks down to your ankles.

 

Note: Any yoga poses that put pressure on the stomach, actually are the poses that help release that feeling in the belly, the gas, etc. Ie. child pose, knees to chest when laying on the back, etc. And there are alternatives to poses that make poses much easier than what you see in books, on tv, etc and they can support you to do the poses when you think you can’t.

Yoga is a very powerful form of weight loss! Not only will it help strengthen and stretch the body, it will also aid in detoxing and releasing toxins, energy and weight that has been stuck in the body for some time. The longer the weight has been held up in the body, most likely, the longer it will take to let it go. However, don’t give up on yourself. Give yourself the time, and pleasure of yoga, self awareness and healing to lose your weight and get the body back that you love!

Asttarte Deva has been practicing yoga since 1998. She has completed 4 Yoga Teacher Trainings so far, a Hatha Yoga Teacher Training, A Vinyasa Yoga Teacher Training, a Yin Yoga Teacher Training and took a Classic Yoga Teacher Training. She has been a Holistic Healer, and studied Chinese Medicine, 5 Elements and a Natural Healer since 1997. She will be glad to support you in your long term health needs!

overeaters, weight loss and yoga 3
Excellent for releasing gas! Again, make adjustments as needed for your comfort. You want to try to hold the pose for at least 5 to 10 minutes for maximum benefit!

 

Dedicated to my friend Jess!

Relationship Trauma & Anxiety

Relationship Trauma & Anxiety

relationship trauma & anxiety

Relationship Trauma & Anxiety

For the past three months, my life has altered in a dramatic way. Things happened that I had no expectation or awareness they could, and life has taken an unexpected turn. Something happened very personal, that caused me to have to take a serious measure and a stand for myself and my son. I had to file for Protection against a man I have loved profoundly for the past nine years, and a man I thought had loved me in return. I had no idea what the results would be with this action. I had no idea if I would gain the protection I sought, or what would then follow if I had not. Although, I knew I needed to take a stand. I knew enough was enough. And, I knew the stand was more for my son than for myself.

A forced legal custody arrangement was placed on the spot immediately following my inability to acquire the permanent protection, and my body was manifesting symptoms I had no control over. All the meditation, prayer and energy work I did on myself could not stop this process. All the prayers I did for him could not stop this process.

During the time of the temporary protection (around a month and 1/2), I became super clear I had been in love with a mad man, and someone who has extreme mental illness. It became clear I had spent years trying to help him heal, and he was in utter denial he needed it, and in utter denial there was a reason for him to seek any form of help that could be a solution, albeit temporary to his dangerous psychosis. I am very clear this man has Bipolar, as one of the many aspects to his behavior, however, that aspect would be a gift if that was all it was. I am not a Clinical doctor (yet), but I am very aware of personality disorders, disassociation, mental illness and mental health. If I could be the fairy that waved her magic wand over this sad unconscious soul, I would have done it years ago. And, in many ways, I tried, granted unsuccessfully.

It would make sense that stress or anxiety (and even symptoms of PTSD) could show up when anyone has to deal with another person of this character (sociopathic/psychopathic/schizoid/anti-social/depression). Thankfully I’m so proactively working on myself I don’t have the extreme of ptsd in my system, but considerable anxiety has had its way of taking over.

How could anxiety show up and manifest when dealing with such an extreme person?

It could show up as:

hyperventilating (or panic attacks)

hives

insomnia

loss of appetite (or increase)

isolation

depression (lethargy)

fear

serious disconnection from spirit (or spiritual practices)/loss of faith in God

energy blockages/energy stuck/cloudiness

During an intense change in a relationship, when you were going on a certain path and direction with someone you loved, with goals of marriage, living together and family, and then the sick person you love takes a sudden turn and changes their mood, behavior, feelings toward you from deep love to utter distance, changes the way they walk, talk and act, and becomes abusive and attacks you and those you love, having symptoms such as the ones above are extremely normal. Don’t let this delusional person tell you any different! If they start pointing fingers that there’s something wrong with you, that’s only confirmation of their illness.

My symptoms manifested mostly as hives, and I studied everything I could to determine how to treat this. My own research was far more successful and helpful than going to my doctor. I found home remedies online, and these were the most successful that I tried: (I also added my own techniques here as well)

oatmeal baths

cool or cold compresses

the herb nettle (can be found at a health food store)

fish oil capsules

meditation and relaxation (and deep breathing)

chamomile essential oil (most awesome was Wild Chamomile Oil; more expensive but fantastic). German Chamomile Oil, and Roman Chamomile Oil. The oils in jojoba oil do work and if they are all you can afford, get it. The pure oils of course are more potent! This helps with anxiety, stress, sleep and throughout the day.

chamomile tea (not as strong as the oil, but nice)

valerian herbal remedy

determining food triggers

witch hazel (helped only slightly)

Bach flower essences (rescue remedy and others you are drawn to)

Cosmic Love Essence

Healing Sessions, Reiki, Energy Healing (receive from friends or healers, and do self healing if you are trained as well)

Chakra Balancing (meditation, working with crystals, pendulum balancing, yoga, etc).

Relaxing Baths

Prayer

Therapy, EMDR, Psychotherapy, Support Groups, Group Therapy, Counseling

Landmark (landmarkworldwide.com)

A Course in Miracles

Hanging out with friends and family

Reading, movies,

Exercise, yoga, rock climbing, skating, walking, staying active, etc.

Walking outside in cool or cold air

Anything that makes YOU happy!

 

Stages After Leaving the Abuser Could Be (in quotes taken from The Sociopath at the Breakfast Table):

frightened – “that the same thing will happen again, or that you might lose control of your feelings and break down”, that he will hurt you again, and your love for him is too strong to stay away.

helpless – “that something really bad happened and you could do nothing about it, leaving you feeling vulnerable and overwhelmed”, that you can’t control how powerful he is, in his vindictive ways, his seductive ways, and his false image of love.

angry – “about what has happened and at whoever was responsible”, and at those who took his side and didn’t believe you, at yourself for trying to help him, and who didn’t protect you or your child

guilty – “that you could have done something to prevent it”, when he shows love for you again, when he finally says he’s sorry, that you shouldn’t have given up on trying to help him to get help

sad – “particularly if you or other people (your children, perhaps) have been affected”, sad in particular that your child will be exposed to this man for the rest of his life, and you may not be able to protect him, sad and scared your child could be fated to become just like him.

ashamed or embarrassed – “that you have strong feelings you can’t control, especially if you need others to support you”. I am happy to accept the help when it comes my way, but this may be relevant for others. Ashamed that I as a Healer, could not see this or prevent it.

relieved – “that the danger is over and that the cause of the danger is gone”. I have come to this point, however, there’s always the risk that he will become like this again, he changes several times a year (or every other year depending on his triggers) into a new person. When co-parenting, there is no escaping; only managing. It’s best to stay friends and minimize reasons for him to become triggered.

hopeful – “that your life will return to normal; people start to feel more positive about things quite soon after a trauma”. Every person is different. If it was a repeated trauma, or a long term relationship, it could take longer than ‘soon’ as this book says! This perhaps is the less severe case, and milder psychosis. You can’t always agree with everything in a book.

The process of grieving, however, does come to an end, and one can assume they will come back to balance, so long as they don’t return to the relationship as it was. If, in all this effort, he does get some help, I will be grateful, however, with his assumed imbalances (chemical, non-chemical and untreated), it is not likely he will ever heal, or heal completely. The best solution, is gaining strength and power and protecting myself for when he does change again, because most likely he will…in due time. You can’t ever trust a psychopath or a narcissist to stay sweet. Assume he’s only doing doing that, to try to get something, or win whatever game he’s playing. And a Psychopath/or Anti-Social/or Mama’s Boy, is almost always also bipolar, so don’t expect him to stay the way he is right now. You never know when he’ll change his mind!

In God and Goddess’s Arms,

Asttarte

 

Extremely helpful books:

The Manipulative Man, Identify his Behavior, Counter his Abuse, Regain Control,  by: Dorothy McCoy, Ed.D.

Psychopaths and Love, by A.B. Admin

The Sociopath at the Breakfast Table; Recognizing and Dealing with Antisocial and Manipulative People, by: Dr. Jane McGregor & Tim McGregor

Women Who Love Psychopaths; Inside the Relationships of Inevitable Harm With Psychopaths, Sociopaths, & Narcissists, by: Sandra L. Brown, M.A.

Why Does He Do That; Inside the Minds of Angry & Controlling Men, by: Lundy Bancroft

When Dad Hurts Mom: Helping Your Children Heal the Wounds of Witnessing Abuse, by: Lundy Bancroft

Stop Spinning, Start Breathing; Managing the Memories that Keep us Addicted, by: Zari Ballard

Who’s Pulling your Strings; How to Break the Cycle of Manipulation and Regain Control of Your Life, by: Harriet B. Braiker, PhD.

Emotional Vampires; Dealing with People Who Drain You Dry, by: Albert J. Bernstein, PhD

When Love is A Lie; Narcissistic Partners & the Pathological Relationship Agenda, by: Zari Ballard

Other Helpful Books:

Narcissistic Lovers; How to Cope, Recover and Move On, by: Cynthia Zayn & Kevin Dibble, M.S.

Why is It Always About You; the Seven early Sins of Narcissism, by: Sandy Hotchkiss, LCSW

Disarming the Narcissist; Surviving & Thriving with the Self Absorbed, by: Wendy T. Behary, LCSW

The Wizard of Oz and other Narcissists; Coping with the One Way Relationship in Work, Love and Family, by: Eleanor D. Payson, MSW

Boundaries and Relationships; Knowing, Protecting and Enjoying the Self, by: Charles L. Whitfield, MD

The Object of my Affection is In My Reflection; Coping with Narcissists, by: Rockelle Lerner

The Enabler; when helping hurts the ones you love, by: Angelyn Miller, MA

Where to Draw the Line; How to Set Healthy Boundaries Every Day, by: Anne Katherine, MA

Women Who Love Too Much; When you Keep Wishing and Hoping He’ll Change, by: Robin Norwood

Coming Apart; Why Relationships End & how to live through the ending of yours, by: Daphne Rose Kingma

I Know This Much Is True, by: Wally Lamb (Oprah’s Book Club)

 

 

Energy Manipulation and Control

Energy Manipulation and Control

 

energy manipulation and controlEnergy Manipulation and Control

Have you every had the experience where you went somewhere to do a kind deed, and then someone went from being helpful and giving to rude and controlling without a moment’s notice?

Today I had a strange experience, at a Hallmark, where I went to buy my mom a gift, and the woman at the register ended up calling the cops. I was a bit dumb-shocked to say the least. We were having a great conversation, about reiki, energy healing, yoga and the healing arts, and as we were making the transaction at the register, she told me the total amount for the starfish earrings I was getting was $9.49, and I handed her a twenty dollar bill, 4 ones and 49 cents. I said, “can you hand me back $15, a ten and a five?” She wasn’t paying attention at this point, and had given me 2 fives. She didn’t see that there was four ones and 49 cents on her counter. She said, “I already gave you two fives.” I looked at them at the counter, and said, “you just owe me another five.” Apparently, she had never taken the ones and change.

She looked at me and said, “I’m going to have to recount my money.” I said, “all you have to give me is a 5 and we’re good.” She still apparently was oblivious that the money on the counter was for her. Five minutes had gone by, and I’m still waiting. I had no idea she wanted to have me wait to count her entire til and have me standing there for over 10 or fifteen minutes. At this point, I was frustrated. I said, “mam, this doesn’t have to be complicated.”

She said, “If you interrupt me again, I’m calling the police.” I just looked at the counter, looked at her drawer, and looked at her. Obviously she was extremely angry, about something I didn’t know what. And, she wanted me to take some punishment of some kind of her lack of awareness of what I handed her, and the amount that was the difference. Saying, “it’s simple math” didn’t make her very happy. At some point I felt her control. I felt her anger, and she was adamant on doing it her way, and making me wrong for having a thought about it, and wanted to start over her counting process 2 or 3 or more times.

Perhaps if she said, “I didn’t count the additional change you gave me. The balance is worked out” it would have been fine. I would have gotten it, but she wanted to make a small situation into a really big one, and hold me there until she resolved her counting process several times. So ultimately the cop showed up. He was a super sweet, patient and nice man. He stood there watching me watch her. She had us both wait until she was done counting. By the time she was done, she said, “You owe me a dollar. My til is short one dollar.” By this time I wanted to be done, and said, “I’ll pay your dollar that you’re short, but I don’t owe you a dollar.” The officer handed her a dollar of his own, and said, “This is ridiculous. This shouldn’t be a big deal.” She felt satisfied, and while standing there I apologized for interrupting her while she was trying to count. She said sternly, “I accept your apology.”

I said, “Are we done?” She said “yes.” I went to leave and the officer followed me outside, and said, “Come talk to me.”

We went outside and walked to the side. He said, “Are you satisfied with how it ended?” And, I said, “I think she just got really confused, and she was really upset.” He said, “Yes, she turned something tiny into something huge. I hope you feel you were treated fair and you got complete.” I said “thank you, she was just super upset.”

She certainly gave me anxiety by using this manipulation tactic and projecting her anger outwards.

Not only was she upset. She was controlling and seriously angry. She had commented that because I’m a Life Coach, teach meditation, yoga and healing that I shouldn’t “act this way”. I think more she meant, “You shouldn’t make me upset when you are a Life Coach, Healer, Yoga Teacher, etc”. However, no one can control another person’s upset. If someone becomes controlling, demanding and angry, its on them. It came from within them. Energy transference from someone dominating you to make you scared, or manipulate to keep you in fear, or hold their “fangs on you”, is not the way to sort something out. She was not responsible on how she forgot what I handed her, and if she did remember, she was using control for another reason. It wasn’t nice. All she had to do was acknowledge the action, and acknowledge the error, but not everyone is willing to admit their mistakes. And they choose to put their mistakes on others. It’s sad to be at the receiving end of this, but I’m grateful the cop got it, and was apologetic and kind to me in the end!

Perhaps she was confused. Perhaps she was jealous. Perhaps she wanted to see if she could make me upset. And, perhaps she went from being open in one moment, to getting triggered, and has some hidden agenda to make people wait for her as her way of controlling them. And, if she doesn’t get what she wants in doing this, she feels out of control, and hence, needed to call the cops. I feel bad for her, but it doesn’t seem she is in the right profession and I feel privy to filing a complaint on her. Or, I too, can let it go. But I do hope she doesn’t treat other customers in the same way. No one deserves that!

Perhaps, too, she just needs some love, and some real healing herself!

reiki gentle

 

Sending love out into the universe to all of those who need it!

Emotions in Your Muscles

Emotions in Your Muscles

emotions in your muscles

 

Often, we experience Emotions in Your Muscles, when at any moment you are feeling pain or discomfort in your body. Many times people go to a physical therapist or massage therapist to help get rid of pain in their body, but in fact, what the pain they are experiencing is the stress reaction to the discomfort or uncomfortable feelings in their body.

Our muscles carry feelings, and many times when a person does not know how to channel the energy of an emotion out of the body, or perhaps the emotional weight is too strong, then those feelings get stored in the body.

We as humans have many different emotions, and since we are mostly made up of water and energy, emotions that we are experiencing have an easy time in just settling in one spot when a feeling is not addressed, looked at, processed, or the energy of the feeling has not moved.

Everyone deals with their feelings in different ways, and in fact, there are so many types of practices on the market these days, that people don’t often know which to choose, which is best, and sometimes get stuck on a modality not aware that other things can in fact help them. Some may go to physical therapy, some massage therapy, some tai chi, chi gong, yoga, acupuncture, walking, jogging, exercise, therapy or counseling, meditation, or others. However, the intention is to get rid of pain, and the answer may be different for each person, the result is the same; a release of discomfort, movement of the energy or emotion and joy or peace in the body.

Some people don’t know that dealing with their anger or upset at their partner, family member or friend, may be the cause of the pain in their neck or pain in their back. Or, that their frustration with their child or challenge at work is the exact reason they are having trouble sleeping, having a hard time relaxing or discomfort in their body. Sometimes the most challenging things can have the simplest answer. And, often it takes an outsider to help look at the issue or concern and go deeper into finding a solution!

The ways I would help support someone with pain in their muscles, is in fact, any one of the modalities listed on any page of this site!

I hope for you, you are always asking for help when you need it, know a practice or practices that can help, and if you don’t, to please reach out at the time that is perfect for you! I am here if you ever need support or desire to go deeper into your journey!