Integrity and Sexual Energy

Integrity and Sexual Energy

Integrity and sexual energyIntegrity and Sexual Energy

Scenario: I am greeted by my ex-lover with a friendly hello. He shows up spontaneously where I tell him I’ll be. We speak in tongue with joy, ease and lightness. He asks to find out what I’m doing over the next few days, with enthusiasm, excitement, and curiosity. The next day I send information on events that look fun, and things we have in common. I hear nothing back. The day after, I send more information on very cool events, and hear nothing back. The next day, he finally responds, and says, “I never said we were definitely doing anything. I told you I may have had to work.” Now, I already had plans, but I was willing to be flexible to meet him. However, the lack of communication, being left in the dark, confused of if this person would want to meet or not, was emotionally and physically debilitating. Not in a real debilitating sense, however, a psychic one.

If someone you care for exclaims they want to get together, and leaves on that note, and then later completely disappears and doesn’t respond, its confusing for the psyche. It leaves someone in the unknown, and in a way, its how they keep their control on you. This then impacts the heart chakra. For women, and men, who care for their loved one, and were left feeling joyous they would meet very soon, but then never heard a word from them, its like giving mixed messages. The heart then is confused. The heart doesn’t know whether to be open, or shut down, out of this loved one saying one thing, feeling enthusiastic, and doing another, and being distant.  Here, I will discuss how this affects the heart chakra and ones sexual energy.

3dheartsufferingsm-a2d

When you leave your loved one thinking you’ll meet or at least talk in a day or two, are excited about the possibility, and then never hear from them, your spiritual body goes through a complex process of releasing someone’s lack of honesty. If you believe someone whole heartedly, at least to the point that their enthusiasm and encouragement on meeting was real, then you expect them to follow through with getting in contact.

However, when you hear nothing, you may begin to question:

  • why you trusted them in the first place,
  • why you were so excited and doubt yourself thinking maybe they never did want to meet
  • question if you were confused about their intentions
  • or perhaps be angry that they said one thing and did another
  • or perhaps try to give them the benefit of the doubt that they never confirmed anything

However, if someone said they wanted to do something and would be in touch, and then they don’t, they are clearly lying. They are giving you mixed messages and making you believe them, to either side, whether they wanted to meet, or didn’t want to. This is insanity and crazy. There’s no reason to believe someone like this. They are in. They are out. Who knows! It depends on what they feel like, and not on how you feel or what they said.

This affects the heart chakra, and the heart then shuts down. It may shut down to this person, but also to other people when you were wide open, loving, enthusiastic and trusting, to then being confused, perhaps sad, and closing off your trust. When the heart chakra gets toyed with, has sadness, disappointment, or feels betrayed, it then impacts the sexual arousal, the root and second chakras (the arousal of a female and male’s sexual organs), and erection for men would be difficult, and arousal and juiciness for women would disappear. This type of person is possibly harmful to someone’s psyche and best to walk away, unless you are unattached, and don’t care about an outcome either way, and have a laissez faire attitude about it. If you do care, and your feelings matter, find your enthusiasm with someone who can be trusted! You never know what you’re going to get with someone who can’t follow through with what they say. And, its certainly not fun! And we do want all the fun we can have, especially for the summer! So, as they say in one of my favorite movies: “Pish, tosh!” (Throw it away!)

LoveSexandTea.com/Love-Coaching

Pain to Orgasmic Pleasure

Pain to Orgasmic Pleasure

Pain to Orgasmic PleasurePain to Orgasmic Pleasure

How many women out there have ever felt the experience of pain after making love several times, and instead of going deeper into the pain, felt as though they needed to take a break from sex for a while from the discomfort? Going from pain to orgasmic pleasure is possible!

Sometimes the pain in a female’s genitalia is a sign that there is something on the other side of that pain. A women experiences pressure on your yoni, her internal bones, and all walls of her vaginal interior and feels as though the sex may have been too rough. And she decides to back off, making her ravenous and eager lover calm down to pleasure himself alone instead.

How about try something else on ladies? When you feel the pain inside, notice it without judgment. Know your man loves you, deep within you, and wouldn’t want to hurt you. If he is your partner, beloved, husband, boyfriend or regular lover, his true desire is to just be with you, feel you close and pleasure you. This makes him happy! When you feel the pain, try going into intimacy and sex again, and notice the pressure inside you, and then give him a warning, “I need to pull out!” Then pull out slowly, and feel your female nectar starting to rise! Push out like there is something there you’re trying to get rid of, and notice a hint of liquid rushing. Then go back to making love, and try this again. You might notice the nectar get more and more each time. But the only way for it to run out of you, is to remove the object in the way (temporarily), by getting off or pulling away from your lover, and then pushing your insides out. You will notice the ability and beginnings of ejaculation if you have not experienced it before.

When it has been a while or is the first time, the female g-spot needs the pressure in order for it to be activated. The normal initial response is pain. And often women think that means they need to back off, but that is the furthest from what actually the body needs. She needs the pressure, which stimulates the pain, then back off for a moment, the freedom to push, and then back in again, to keep your man wanting more, and you as well.

Sometimes the amount of nectar is so enormous, that the women will feel orgasms running around again and again, in a circular manner, and repeating itself, and you’ll need to get multiple towels for her because she might not stop pushing. The pushing is the orgasms, and after a moments rest, another soon comes. She needs you to help her, be there, love her, and let her know you think its awesome and are supportive.

The pain does lead to pleasure! If you know what the pain is about, you’ll know how to get to the other side!

Every women’s g-spot is located in a different place. Some is close to the exit, some is half way back, and others all the way deep inside. Explore her location together, and find positions that will trigger it that will work for both of you. Make it a game! Make it fun! Explore the ride, and you’ll both be thankful! Sometimes on the other side of something foreign, unknown and painful, is a very glorious ride!

See also  Empowerment Coaching for Women

Desire After Being Single

desire after being singleDesire After Being Single

What happens after you’ve spent a long time being single after a breakup? I know there are many of you out there. You end a long term relationship with someone, for very psychological reasons, and choose to be alone to get over them fully, not jumping into a new relationship out of fear of being alone. You are perfectly content with being alone, and don’t choose to get involved with someone creating what they call a “rebound relationship”. Your desire starts coming back, and you want to make the right choices with who to be with. This is more a Relationship Coaching post (that I would normally post on MyLoverMyBestFriend.wordpress.com), however, there are also elements of Tantra in it as well.

You have a craving for passion, and yet, aren’t finding partners you feel aligned with, are not a good match, or perhaps aren’t even attracted to at all. Perhaps you’ve become more serious, or want to choose more seriously, not jumping into something out of lust or sexual frustration. However, you also have needs. You are a human being. Needs for pleasure and desire are perfectly normal.

What have you done to take care of those needs? What you choose to do, hopefully is done out of healthy reasons. Some, I’m sure will go to bars, strip clubs, and some men out there even go so far as calling a prostitute, a surrogate, or sexual healer. However, those aren’t always an option, and sometimes they are not good choices.

Going to Cuddle gatherings is a great way to receive the nurturing touch you need, and perhaps find a new play partner at the same time.

Finding someone who is willing to be a cuddle buddy, or be a buddy in general is a great solution.

Finding a friend who is a casual connection and there is a attraction as well, is a great way to support that need for passion and desire.

Perhaps you want to find someone who would love to do a massage trade is a good answer.

Perhaps joining a group of something you’re interested in.

Perhaps a poly group, a swingers club, or even a book club.

And, some like to go to events such as Om (Orgasmic Meditation) through One Taste to fulfill their needs.

And others like to just hang out with friends, looking for that special someone and practice orgasms for one.

Whatever you choose, know you are not alone! There are others out there too, and you can find ways to fulfill your desires in your way, and in your own style!

Sacred Foot Massage

Sacred Foot MassageBubbles, warm water, and lavender oil await your longing feet to be touched, pampered and adored for an hour of intimate bliss and love! To be touched, and embraced with kindness opens up the heart, clears ones energy, and allows one to surrender into the experience of receiving; being nurtured, pampered, appreciated, respected and offered unconditional love.

I love watching someone melt, and relax in peace, knowing they are in safe arms, cared for, and can surrender their true feelings. It is fulfilling to give the gift of love, and be received with gratitude that they allowed you to help release their stresses, sadness, or anxiety, and opened their heart.

Sacred Foot Massage is much more than a massage. It is a full body experience of bliss, energy cleansing, pampering, and opening up to the greater gift of ones own heart, as the heart melts its fears, worries, concerns and stresses, and can relax into the unknown, as though time was nonexistent. A true healing experience in formed, and with delight and trust, sometimes ones heart opens even greater and tears of love release from the body, as the stress leaves and changes form.

The opposite of stress and anxiety is bliss. As the body shifts the stress, it opens up to a kundalini wave of energy flowing that takes over and manifests as bliss. Bliss is a full body feeling of pleasure, however, pleasure does not necessarily mean sexual. It can mean a spiritual cleansing of ones own energy center. In many cases, however, orgasm manifests, and takes over inside and outside, as deeper breaths rise, energy expands and love abounds!

Sacred Foot Massage includes a consultation/coaching part of the session, discussion of current or recent issues, blocks and obstacles, and desires of where to arrive/goals to achieve. Then the session includes a hand to the heart, guided deep breathing, and then getting ready to soak the feet in a tub of warm bubbly water. Then massage is experienced on one foot at a time, dripping water to the rest of the leg, and massaging the rest of the leg. Then the other foot and leg is done. Often a blanket will rest over the upper part of the body, with a pillow behind the persons head and room to stretch out as they relax deeper. After the feet are done, deeper massing into the thighs is experienced, and then more of a sensual nature massage takes form. As the person surrenders they may experience full body orgasm, and as they come to rest, I may rest my hand on their heart again, or put my arm around them to allow them to surrender into the bliss and love just received. Sometimes it takes a moment to get grounded and integrate from this experience, so I will sit with them and hold them until they feel settled and ready to get up.

This is an example of one of the Spiritual Tantra Sessions I offer. There are many other examples.

Much Love and Blessings,

Asttarte

How All Sessions Go

how all sessions goHow All Sessions Go

No matter what you’re looking for, no matter what your focus is, your goals, intentions, or needs, or “program” you feel fits you best, we will always have a conversation and coaching part of a session, prior to anything else. Before meeting, we will have a pre-screening process to determine your level of spiritual experience, interest and what your next steps of spiritual growth are. Then we determine if we are going deeper into a spiritual healing session (which always precedes any tantra work), or if we are doing more of a Coaching Session, which always precedes any Sex or Intimacy Coaching as well.

Even if someone is coming for health reasons, holistic healing, general massage, or emotional healing (such as grief work, anxiety, depression, anger, a break up, a death in the family, a challenge with their relationship or their sexual concerns), we will still have a coaching aspect to any session.

If someone comes for Erectile Dysfunction, or Pre-mature Ejaculation, we will still have Coaching and/or Counseling prior to any Session, to determine if it is energetic and emotional reasons, or health related, and the best approach to take.

If someone comes for Intimacy Issues and is manifesting the wrong partner, we will go into Coaching, to determine what the pattern is, the history of all relationships, the types of relationships manifested, and the common theme of what all the issues in those relationships come up. We may do emotional healing or energy clearing to release the blocks to the previous partners, or go into a Cuddle Session and Chakra Healing work, however, Coaching and all sorts of talking is part of the session, and is addressed in the same session.

Prior to any hands on or touching aspect of any session, spiritual healing work takes place. Often it is a meditation, chakra clearing session, or a tantra meditation, however, there are other tools used prior to hands on work that may be needed, but it is not determined what is best until after meeting and the issues that are important to work on. (And, if a talking aspect to a session is needed and takes a larger amount of time, and then a spiritual healing is needed after, a longer session would be recommended, or multiple sessions to get all aspects covered).

Sometimes Reiki or Aura Clearing is needed in order to do any hands on work. Reiki energy helps moves the energetic blocks and frees up the space around a person so they radiate a higher frequency. The energy around a person is often more significant then their physical body, and any layers that are guarded or heavy will need cleansing before physical touch and closeness. If someone’s energy is too heavy, too chaotic, anxious or fear based, I will either suggest seeking solely Spiritual Healing (with myself or another practitioner first), or a professional therapist to do emotional healing work (or they can work with me on this level also if they feel comfortable). Then after these layers have been addressed, we can move into more physical healing work.

The page Spiritual Healing Coaching talks more about healing the aura, energy body, and spiritual healing. Every step counts and one leads to the next layer of creating a full body experience of bliss, joy, and profound peace and satisfaction!

And even working on healing the emotional layers of a person, can certainly and DEFINITELY take one to joy! Underneath all challenging feelings is love, and no matter what lays on top, love is always waiting!

Angry Cock

AngryCockAngry Cock

It might sound funny, but it is exactly what energy radiates from someone’s shaft if he himself is angry! I don’t mean being angry in one moment either. I mean, if his over-all personality, energy and mood is the majority of the time filled with anger, frustration, resentment, annoyance or even sexual frustration. When a woman goes to massage a male’s genitals, however he is feeling on the inside, his deeper core emotions, his cock will feel the exact same thing!

The energy of a man’s cock will take on the energy of his entire self. And, if he is desiring to connect with his beloved, she too, will feel the anger radiating off of him. She will feel his annoyance, and frustration, his impatience, his neediness, and overall anger beaming energy right off of his sacred area, in addition to his heart chakra, and everywhere else around him.

If his energy is angry and filled with these emotions mentioned above, often times a woman won’t want to connect with him, or will have a difficult time, because that energy is not a welcoming feeling. That energy actually pushes people away in the opposite direction, probably the opposite too of what he wishes they would do. An angry cock feels toxic, heavy and the opposite of loving; exactly what women desire to feel. And, if he is trying to connect to a woman, the best way to go about it, is for him to clear his angry energy first.

How Do You Clear Your Angry Cock?

The first step is to acknowledge that you might be angry. Even, if the majority of the time you think you are pretty peaceful, consider, that its possible your energy is not as peaceful as you think.

It’s possible that your cock is not angry, however, it still may have stress-filled energy around it that is causing the people, or person, in your life to have a certain reaction. And, even if that reaction is that she cannot orgasm or orgasms very little, that too is an indication that your energy is not as pure as your lover needs it to be.

The next step after acknowledging that your cock, and whole energy being, might have a certain frequency that is causing women around you to have a certain reaction, is to do your personal work.

How do you do that? The term processing might be overrated, but that’s one practice that is helpful. Find someone to talk to about your feelings, get it out in the open, and stop trying to deal with the stuff in your life all alone!

The next thing would be to take on spiritual or peace inducing practices; such as meditation, yoga, tai chi, chi gong, acupuncture, walks in nature, baths, drinking tea, etc.

Beyond this is to get a massage, but not just for the sexual frustration; the whole gamut! Get a massage, or energy healing session to release pent up energy in your entire being; your neck, shoulders, chest, back, hips, thighs, calves, hamstrings, arms, hands, feet, ankles, etc. And, when it’s time to remove pent up energy in your genitals, do it with consciousness, not with any intention to release an orgasm (not for a while at least), and remove any blocked energy of anger around your shaft.

This post is not just for women guys! It’s for men to truly get your woman, and help yourself so that you can clear and open yourself to be a match for what she desires; the authentic loving you she desired when you first met, those many moons ago!

So clear your energy and your cock feels peaceful, loving, and ultimately sexy! Isn’t that what you want your loved one(s) to feel from you anyway? 🙂

Slow Sex is Best

Slow Sex is Best

Sex, sex, sex! Everyone loves to talk about sex! But sex to one person may mean something completely different to someone else. To one person it may mean going out to dinner, having a few glasses of wine, and coming home to jump in the bed with their hunny. To another, it may mean to stay in, put everything on hold, and do it right there on the spot, spontaneously wherever they feel like it. And to another, it may mean slow foreplay, lots of intimate massage, then taking as long as possible before removing their external articles, and moving as slowly as possible after.

Most people, and in particular, most guys, think the faster the better, but that can’t be further from the truth. Guys, and women too, feel a peak of desire, and want to rush to feel some form of satisfaction. They crave the feeling of pleasure, get impatient and even become aggressive with their own body. They almost in a sense, are taking out that sense of impatience and anger on them-self, for having waited to be intimate, and don’t realize that the slower they go, they more healing, nurturing and joy they experience within. And, too, the slowness creates an energy flow, the chi, and taoist energy movement, that allows even an emotional connection to their body, feelings and experience to take place. Sometimes, the slower, the more sensual and the more emotional. Often, there is no healing without slowness, no emotional connection, no vulnerability, no sadness, and also no electric orgasm either.

There are many vibrators out on the market, and many of them, have a speed that is much too fast to allow the person to have a true tantric emotional connection or healing experience. These ‘toys’ are targeted more for people who are unable to orgasm without them, and all too often, they over-stimulate a woman, creating a somewhat dependence on the toys, and it sets the woman up for being unable to have any pleasure or release with her own partner (or herself for that matter). She then needs the toy after being with her partner, and then her husband, or boyfriend, etc. feels left out, unloved, not included in her pleasure, and it sets him up to feel failure as a lover; which is probably completely off base. She just trained herself to received pleasure from some foreign object, and can’t experience pleasure without it. Guys, it’s not your fault!

However, there is hope! Women can retrain themselves to slow down, and men can feel the satisfaction of connecting with his sweetheart and beloved deeply once again! First, I’d like to say, is that it IS possible. You first have to put the toy away. Hide it in a trunk, or the attic for a while. Try something different. Try slowing down, breathing, working with your own energy, your own breath, a gentle touch, and let your emotions come to the surface. It will create a spiral and circulating effect of self love, love for your partner, and a connection much deeper than two people experiencing a superficial orgasm at two separate times and in two different ways can ever do.

If two people in a relationship, are both desiring to be sexual, get close, but one is angry, another is frustrated, depressed, or experiencing anything other than love, fast sex often seems like the quick solution to connect and attempt to make all those feelings go away. But, those feelings don’t go away, without acknowledging them, truly feeling them, being with them, and loving them into disappearance.

Slow sex, and slow intimacy is the only way to truly acknowledge your partner, love him or her, and create a connection that is worth experiencing. Why rush when you can have so much more? 

 

Arousal as Energy Movement

Arousal as Energy MovementArousal as Energy Movement

What happens after a relationship ends, or you have taken an enormous amount of time to be alone? (The relationship might as well be over if that’s the case). And definitely the case if your partner had a fear of intimacy. (Search the keyword Intimacy for more posts on this topic).

What happens to your body after you’ve gone through the grieving and letting go process, and you’re ready to start dating again, or having an interest in connecting with others after all that time?

What usually happens, is your body will start telling you that you are ready. It will have desires with certain people you are attracted to, or give you sudden urges and nudges to push you to talk to someone. But what happens when you’re by yourself, and you are starting to finally open up again after all that time alone? Your body may have waves of energy movement, or jolts of sudden arousal. It may feel orgasmic, but then when you go to pleasure yourself, you may still feel certain blocks to experience a full body experience of arousal, i.e.. orgasm.

The arousal is your bodies way of telling you that you have gotten through most of the grieving process of your ex lover (husband, wife, etc) and it has achieved a level of balance, equilibrium and harmony of energy and wants to move to a higher place of joy. You completed the cycle of sadness, solitude and aloneness after the hard core break up. You took the time you needed to rest, recover, release anxiety, stress and sadness from your previous beloved, and now your body has awaken, and it wants to wake you up to match how it feels.

It can happen anywhere; your kitchen while you are cooking a meal, your car while singing to a song you love, cleaning your home, reading, talking to a friend, or even meditating or taking a bath. When your body is ready to open to a higher level of pleasure, it doesn’t matter what you are doing or who you are with. It will move and rise within you no matter what!

If you talking to a friend in person or over the phone and you definitely don’t want that friendship to turn into something different, be careful! You may want to hang up the phone or leave the current situation to allow your body to experience how it’s feeling. Otherwise, that friendship might just turn romantic pretty quickly!

If you want the friendship to turn into something else, and your friend had been waiting for you to be ready and open, awesome! Or, you are neutral and don’t care if this person will remain your friend or turn into something else, that may be time to have a discussion. However, if you have the discussion on the spot, changes will happen almost dramatically! A more rational stand would be to walk away, take care of yourself, and then talk to your friend later after the feeling of sexual arousal and frustration has calmed down.

I’ve discovered a practice called the Deer Exercise for women and men in my recent search on this topic. This is a taoist energy practice to help move and awaken someone who has been suppressed or shut down for a long time. If you are no longer suppressed and feel the energy already excited, this practice may actually just balance you and help release some of the pent up sexual frustration, and perhaps help you relieve the sexual frustration a little easier. However, I find the Shamanic Breathwork and Tantra Meditations to be more powerful. Whatever you choose is your choice, and your body will let you know what is best!

Feel free to give the Deer Exercise a try. Who knows it might help! If anything it will help keep your energies open and your body in overall health and vitality! Enjoy!

For women:

For men and women:

Men who Overpower

Men who Overpower

Men Who Overpower

Why do some men think they have to get one up over women? If they feel the woman is not sexually aroused by them, they automatically assume she’s shut down, or turned off, when perhaps she just might not be turned on by him! Perhaps they take such offense to it, and have anger about it, that they would rather insult the woman instead. It’s funny! I heard this particular person was screaming and yelling at his wife, right before he decided to insult me! That alone confirmed my intuitive feeling about the person, to not take what he said SO seriously, and instead to consider why he was making the judgments or assumptions without even knowing who I am! (And, for a moment there I was starting to feel doubt about myself, and believe him. That didn’t last long).

We, as women, can be the targets for a lot of male dominant anger, and if we are a gentle soul, nice, kind and grounded, some think they can just walk all over us! However, they cannot just walk all over us, and degrade, insult or put us down. We will find out, our intuitive powers will lead us, guide us, and show us the truth.

So this is what happened: this indian man I meet randomly (last weekend), at a place that’s supposed to be geared for ALL women by the way, tells me that he knows me. He says, “you emailed me saying you liked my article, and wanted to share it!” I said, “Oh, that’s nice!” It was regarding white tantra, and authentic tantra compared to what the western world thinks tantra is. I said, “Ok!” This was probably about 5 or 6 years ago. Then he went to telling me about my energy, that I’m not with a good partner (which he did not know and was none of his business), and telling me how he thought I should be. Now, I had just taken my first Biofeedback Session a few days prior for Lyme Disease, and had been extremely tired, detoxing, and resting. Of course my energy was tired. I knew that, but it doesn’t mean I wouldn’t have gotten through that, and am working on it. He offered his phone number and healing services for free, but said some things I didn’t even choose to remember. They didn’t resonate with me. I looked at him funny! He said, he was a glorified Tantra Master and has been since he was 18 years old. That’s kind of proud and egotistical. And, his energy was not kind or loving. It felt persuasive, aggressive, and controlling, like he had no trouble crossing people’s boundaries, even energetic boundaries. But I stood my ground, watched him talk, say his speech, even accepted the number, smiled and walked away. After that, I stayed away from him, not even making eye contact.

Then I received an anonymous book in the mail from some random person to my name a couple days ago, Asttarte Deva, with no apt number, and no indication of who it was from. Perhaps it was also from this person. It was the book Loving What Is. Now, yes, this is a good book, I already own it. However, sometimes people send these anonymous things as a way of letting me know they are angry, hurt by me, and trying to make me change, when they in themself are hurting by my rejection of them! So, when people send these things without any means of communication, they are playing the passive aggressive role, and almost doing it out of spite, and trying to get back at me. I don’t feed into that bs. If anyone wants my book, I am glad to give it to you as a free gift! 🙂

Honestly, I think this person was horny, perhaps was attracted to me, and then felt insulted I had absolutely NO sexual desire for him! Poor baby!

Right after the exchange we had at the event, I went to another booth with an amazing Shaman and Wiccan, and received a crystal healing session that lasted maybe 15 minutes. After that session, my energy lit up, I felt vibrant, passionate and happy! I chose to go to other places that were uplifting, fun, and lifted me up, saw my light and gifts, and relaxed with some very cool new Goddess friends! 🙂

So, if any man ever insults you for you not being aroused, consider, he might actually be passively telling you he wants you, but in a not so nice way!

 

 

 

Featured Video Play Icon

True Tantra

Until I can figure out how to put this video on the side of the blog, here is an attempt at explaining this work to you! Big Hugs, and Big love, Asttarte

Birth Trauma Healing

Birth Trauma HealingBirth Trauma Healing (blog for women)

I had an amazing healing session yesterday, and it was so eye opening I thought I would share it with you. The process was a process of discovery. I had no idea what would show up, but the result was enlightening, empowering and transformational. I discovered later that Charles Muir uses this same exact technique to his students of Tantra who wish to become Daka’s and Dakinis. My experience was beautiful as well.

The intention was a yoni massage, for healing any trauma, anger, or pain stored in the lower chakras. I wanted to address my own issues related to being drawn to unhealthy men, and attachment to those who cannot love me in return. “I am determined!” I said. We were in discovery of The Sexual Practices of Quodoushka. That in itself was interesting, fun and enlightening (to find out what animal you are based on shamanic teachings is pretty fun).

As we went deeper into our healing session, I had the urge to have something “fill me on both sides!” I wanted the feeling of pressure inside my inner walls. We then discovered the pressure my body was asking for was right on the bone, and this is exactly where trauma is stored inside the woman, from rape, abusive relationships and giving birth to a baby. Many women are unable to heal this trauma from just simple talk therapy, or even rape specialists. The emotional energy gets “stuck” in the bone, and in the fascia right on the inner lining of the bone where pressure would have been experienced from the baby’s tiny skull, or from a man penetrating a woman without the woman’s consent, agreement or desire. This was eye opening, and every woman deserves to clear these blocks, if they have them.

Birth Trauma Healing

I discovered around the area of 5 o’clock and 7 o’clock is where most women stored the most rage, trauma and pain and as the giver “watch out!” Her Kali like energy and emotions will rise to the surface and she may want to rip you a new head if you’re inside her performing this healing. I learned that one woman in the tantra training said, “Get the f..k out of me!” This woman had not healed any of her rape yet. I have actually healed a lot of my own trauma, but I had not cleared any birth trauma, and did not even know it was possible. As I got present to my experience, I noticed, “that really hurts!!!” and then I started to really cry, with a little embarrassment. When we went around the clock again and found the Kali spot on me, my friend who was giving the healing said, “Ok, this is the Kali spot you may have anger here.” And, I said, “I’m not angry. Ok, that hurts like hell. What the f**k?” And started pulling on his shirt and smacked it. He said, “Ha ha. Yeah, you’re not angry.” And, I laughed. I thought I handled it pretty darn well actually.

I’ve taken healing trainings to heal trauma for women, and trainings to help them open up to their sexual arousal again from being blocked, but this was awesome! I needed something deeper and this was perfect! How cool is it to receive training when you’re already a practitioner, and can learn one on one pretty quickly! I love it. I discovered this technique can help women who have been sexually shut down to really open back up again to who they were before. And right after the session, I wasn’t afraid to walk through my friends home naked to get my clothes that were in a bag on the opposite side of the room. How cool is that? 🙂 (my friend was outside on the phone, but still that’s progress!)

See original post at blog for women at HealingSacredWoman.com

Edgy love Secrets Revealed

Edgy Love Secrets Revealed******Edgy Love Secrets Revealed****

 

 

Dear friend,

 

Really! Another bulk email like this? Yes, it’s called a summit. There are a group of amazing professional practitioners, Sex Coaches, Tantricas, Relationship experts, Healers, Authors, Speakers, and others on the group. And you’re getting an opportunity to listen to them all for free!!!

 

This is what my interview video will be about (aired Sunday):

Intuitive Tantra Energy Awareness

How do you raise your own energy awareness when it comes to your sexuality?

How is sexuality and Tantra related and how do they help each other?

If someone’s energy is low, and their sexual energy is lacking, how can one clear or transform it?

How can Intuitive Tantra help someone heal?

What if you’re single, a parent or in a unique relationship status situation, can Tantra still help?

What’s intuition got to do with sex anyway?

How can Tantra help ones overall health?

One extra if there’s time, and (why is their so much confusion about Tantra in our culture?)

 

If you listen to them, you’ll be helping me out, you’ll get some amazing content and build our network. how many of these do you want me to watch and listen to? As many as you can or want to.

 

I have a couple answers for this question?

 

1) Yes, this is the season for Love and sizzling sex and it seems more and more people are crying out for guidance on how to attract it, keep it, and flourish in their relationships; 

 

and

 

2) I want you to listen to as many of these totally free summits as it takes to get you out of whatever pain and disappointment you may have about past or present relationships…

 

…and to experience Deep Lasting Love inspired by unconventional, authentic, fulfilling, trusting relationships with ravishing sex through unbridled self expression that brings more joy and passion into your life with all those you connect with than ever before.

 

This means when a chance to participate and tell you about an amazing group of authors, teachers, and inspirational transformation experts comes around—I am going to tell you…

 

…. and with the enthusiasm of somebody winning the lottery!

 

I want you to be excited and orgasmic too.

 

How extraordinary would it be to attract and keep partner(s) and/or playmates with deep lasting Love and beyond imaginable ravishing sex?

 

MIND BLOWING, right?!

 

But instead of this spectacular loving experience, perhaps this is or has been you….

 

…or maybe this is someone you know and care about…

 

This person is lonely, depressed, cynical, disappointed, hurt, intimidated, desperate, apathetic, and resigned when it comes to attracting the partner(s) of their dreams.

 

Love and trust is lost with no light at the end of the tunnel.

 

We are screaming at the top of our lungs…. DO NOT SETTLE OR GIVE UP!!! You deserve to share yourself with someone exquisitely special!

 

There is a recipe for attracting fulfilling and trusting relationships into your life.

 

You can and will create deep lasting Love, joy, and acceptance with a breathtaking companion and/or playmates of your fantasies.

 

You can have heart connected, powerful, and scrumptious edgy spiritual sex with each other!

 

The amazing line-up in the Edgy Love Secrets Revealed Summit are sharing their Edgy Love Secrets to help people across the world bring true Love, sex, compatibility, and fulfillment into their lives.

 

————> Register now for Edgy Love Secrets Revealed Video Summit Live

 

I will be interviewed along with 24 other experts on this upcoming video summit, Edgy Love Secrets Revealed: Discover How to Create Unconventional, Authentic, Fulfilling, Trusting Relationships with Ravishing Sex through Unbridled Self Expression!

 

I am blessed to be among many of the top experts on: attracting your dream partner(s), relationship communication, connected edgy sex, tantra, and alternative diverse relationships.

 

I am excited about this summit because it’s a very special line-up of experts that do not come together often.

 

This is ALSO NOT your typical Summit. The content is edgy.  It will challenge how you to look at a number of things differently than you might do now. Some you will love. Some you might question. Some of the content might seriously push your boundaries.

 

You will absolutely hear and learn new things, and that is worth the price of admission—which is only your time and your willingness to learn and grow and discover ways to bring more joy and excitement into your life, and keep it there. The dollar cost is zero.

 

This invigorating, diverse and unique summit will give you the keys to take action and attract and keep the partner(s) of your dreams!

 

WOW, is that evocative or what?

 

————> Register now for Edgy Love Secrets Revealed Video Summit

 

Many people have a story about why love and sex doesn’t work in their lives. The fabulous news is this summit is about being empowered to write your own love story with your ideal companion(s). All 25 speakers have been handpicked as the top experts by Dr. Rusty so that you can have the love(s) of your life!

 

Jump in NOW! There’s nothing to lose and everything to gain! You deserve the best!

 

————> Register now for Edgy Love Secrets Revealed Video Summit  

 

I’m inviting you as my guest to experience this juicy summit for yourself and attract authentic Love and partnership.

 

Isn’t it time to wake up in the morning, glance over at the most amazing person you have ever experienced and gush with Love and appreciation….

…Only to discover in that same moment they are looking at you and feeling exactly the same way! BREATHE!

 

IT’S TOTALLY POSSIBLE!

 

Click here to register for Edgy Love Secrets Revealed Video Summit and bid a final farewell to living without a special companion, best friend, and scorching lover(s)!

 

Gratitude, Love, and Light,

 

Asttarte Deva

 

P.S. Sign up now and get free gifts and/or spectacular one time offers from myself and the experts! Each day you will receive a new link to the different speaker interviews. Remember it’s all FR&E!

Fearless Relating Weekend Intensive

Fearless Relating Weekend Intensive

 

I’m so excite to have these amazing two individuals leading this weekends event. My dear old friend Reid Mihalko is leading and amazing Monique Darling! I am inspired to share this with all of you! If you are in the Philadelphia, and want an exciting weekend, this is it!!!

Are you on Facebook? You can see all the details here: https://www.facebook.com/events/1567572803458841/

If you can’t get to Facebook, this is the content here:

Come join us in Philadelphia as two top teachers in the fields of sexuality, vulnerability, and self-acceptance weave their diverse perspectives into a weekend retreat like you have never experienced before.

Enigmatic comedian Reid Mihalko will show you ways to simplify your life, lessen emotional paperwork, and face your fears with humor and confidence.

Monique Darling, mistress of the weave, Goddess of self acceptance, will open you to an immense playground of possibilities you had not dared to consider. And will bring together the juiciest morsels of various teachers to help you internalize the lessons to your depths, and to help you find the greatest love of your life. Yourself.

Come and benefit from the blending of their unique experiences, approaches, and insights regarding skillful communication to get to your no without fear to uncover your yes, releasing your armor and becoming more vulnerable to discover an inner strength you did not know you have, and the ability to laugh in the face of your greatest fears.

———-
Are you ready to take an intensive weekend of FEARLESS RELATING with two of the most dynamic relationship geeks on the planet today? Come blow your mind and open your heart with vulnerability diva Monique Darling, and sex and relationship expert Reid Mihalko.

If you could have anything, do anything, what would you choose? What do you really want? What is keeping you from having it? Is someone else better qualified? better looking? more financially stable? Do you have “problems”? What if every limit you have, every chain that binds you, is only there because you believe it is? What if the limits disappear, the chains dissolve?. Your life is alive with an abundance of possibilities, opportunities, and potential all you have to do is be willing to say “yes”.

So much of the fear and hesitation in life comes not from the self, but from fretting about what others may think,or what they will say or whom they might share it with afterwards rather than being able to enjoy the moment. Another set of fears come from passed-down beliefs that we accept without questioning them.

What if you could make decisions and follow your heart…follow your body and your desires without worrying about what others thought? What if you were fearless in relating – first, to yourself and then, to others?

We all have feelings of ferocity and tenderness, but we must feel safe in order to be vulnerable and intimate with another. Part of that safety is being confident in our own ability to say ‘NO’ and take a stand for our boundaries. Only then can we play in the realm of our true ‘HELL YES!’

Come join us for a unique weekend of exploration around such topics as:
*How do we establish boundaries and create safe space for ourselves to explore with others?
*Shifting paradigms from blame, shame, guilt & judgement, to love, acceptance, understanding and presence.
*Factors that promote or inhibit intimacy:
*The power of no and boundary (understand why your “no” says more about you than your “yes”)

In this workshop you will learn, play, and practice:
To ask for what you want, skillfully, without attachment to the response.
To honor, respect, and be grateful for the answer “no”, and still be hopeful for the answer “yes”.
To be honest and vulnerable about your wants and desires without shame, without deflection, without armor.
To hold space for someone who has not yet learned these skills.
To own your fears, instead of them owning you.
To not be afraid to be the one who loves the most
To learn to be even more vulnerable when you want to isolate or close down.
Release shame and haunting memories
Modalities of communication: verbal and non verbal

You will gain tools and leave with the ability to relate with everyone in your life with more ease, grace, and blissful contentment from your own center.

Sign up for the Love Exchange $397
Save even more by signing up before
April 1 (and that’s no joke) where you get the entire experience for only $347
Or be one of the first 3 to sign up and get all 3 days for $299
RSVP HERE: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/fearless-relating-weekend-intensive-with-reid-mihalko-monique-darling-tickets-15067732995
Are you confused about dating, mating, and relating in the 21st Century?
Dating, marriage and the reasons we stay in relationships have changed a lot since the days of our great grandparents.
Join us for this humorous, frank and informative, intensive workshop where sex and relationship expert Reid Mihalko boils down over 150,000 conversations he’s had about sex and relationships and walks us through his best thinking and advice on making sex, dating, relationships and mating work!
Participants will leave this interactive workshop experience discovering:
• Tools to determine if someone is a good or horrible fit for you…
• Communication Skills to ask for what they want and how to avoid past relationship mistakes…
• A few of Reid’s and Monique’s “black belt” relationship tips and tricks!

Then, let Monique Darling, Consent Geek Extraordinaire, lead you through all of the tools, tips, tricks and how to uplevel the questions you are asking yourself and others to truly be able to find and live from your own “Hell Yes”!! Monique has been leading Cuddle Parties (just facilitated her 346th)all over the country, which are 3 1/2 hours of practicing this concept.

How amazing would it be to live life offering every “no” without apology and every “yes” without being ashamed? Learn that it really isn’t about anyone else, it’s about tuning in and taking care of you, and then you can relate with ease and joy with others, wherever they are at.

Learning better sexual technique will boost your sexual self-confidence, raise your self-esteem, and make you more confident and competent in sex and love! Being THAT kind of person is attractive in AND out of the bedroom! Part of the weekend will cover how to increase your sexual self-confidence ten-fold and start becoming a more attractive, self-expressed and fearless person in all your relationships!

Through no nudity, interactive, hilariously “edutaining” demonstrations, you will learn:
• How to use fantasy to turbo-charge a lover’s orgasm…
• How to listen to your partner’s body in bed…
• How to create your own “sexual positions decoder ring” so you naturally “think” about lovemaking in an exciting, Kama Sutra way!
•How to slow down sexual experience for greater pleasure
learning to STOP judging ourselves and our partners
•Understanding how to expand our own sexual energy and our PLEASURE Body
•Opening to Full Body Energy Orgasms
•The different stories you and others are telling about your sexual identity
•Developing Emotional and Sexual Safety for Intimacy
• 5 tips that will give you oral sex super powers!
• 3 Powerful Perspectives that will help you understand pleasure and orgasm, and how to give and receive both!
• 3 ways to use your hands sexually that will drive your partner wild AND leave you feeling more confident as a lover!
• 2 BIG differences between penises and vulvas, and 1 thing that’s the same that will make you 10-times better in bed…
• And still more!

If you ever begin to understand who you are, you could not possibly ever compare yourself to another, to envy, wish to impress, to BE different than you are. For in the beauty, wonder, and awe at discovering how magnificent “your” puzzle pieces fit together, at the ever changing infinite ways YOU shift, dance, I Need Your Love – Is That True?: How to Stop Seeking Love, Approval, and Appreciation and Start Finding Them Insteadeave together, each one so unique, so extraordinary, it would take an entire lifetime to only just begin to discover. Yet so often we abandon the quest of self discovery, to follow another, or to invest in relationships, doing what we have been told is the “right” way to be. The greatest freedom that we could ever express or imagine, is by simply giving ourselves permission to gently keep returning to us and we can transform the world by simply being 100% ourselves.

Come with an open heart and a willingness, a longing, to bring your stories into the light, so that they can stop you running away from your shadow.

There will be times, over the weekend, when the atmosphere will be sensual and energetically sexual. All activities and exercises will be guided and are always optional. You can participate in the workshop solo, with a partner and in small groups. All participants are asked to practice with each other, or by oneself, in whatever manner supports you best. Many options will be offered to support each individual experience.

set your sights on registering for this breakthrough weekend, and get a two for the price of one deal by paying only what it ordinarily costs to learn from just one of these facilitators.

So say ‘HELL YES’ to discovering ‘YOU’

Sign up for the Love Exchange $397
Save even more by signing up before
April 1 where you get the entire experience for only $347
Or be one of the first 3 to sign up and get all 3 days for $299

This weekend also includes an exclusive and optional Sat night play party!! Details when you sign up….
Please RSVP online as we often sell out!
REGISTER HERE: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/fearless-relating-weekend-intensive-with-reid-mihalko-monique-darling-tickets-15067732995
“Helped me to understand what it means to live orgasmically.” Janice

“Nothing has been the same since. I learned about my energetic self and others. Fear has passed away in my life and been replaced by curiosity” Alyson

Also please join Reid and Monique Darling for a full 5 days of classes in the PA area including a cuddle Party and Fearless Relating Weekend

Wednesday, Apr 22, 2015 at 7:00 PM – 10:00 PM : Official Cuddle Party by Reid Mihalko, Edie Weinstein, and Monique Darling : https://www.facebook.com/events/824927364216805/

Thursday, Apr 23, 2015 at 7:00 PM – 10:30 PM : Fearless Relating Panel, Speed Flirting, and Vulnerability Circle : https://www.facebook.com/events/419253751573248/

Friday, Apr 24, 2015 at 7:30 PM – Sunday, Apr 26, 2015 at 5:00 PM : Fearless Relating Weekend Intensive With Reid Mihalko & Monique Darling : https://www.facebook.com/events/1525435177738664/

Monday, Apr 27, 2015 at 6:30 PM – 10:30 PM : Rough Sex for Nice Folks with Reid Mihalko : https://www.facebook.com/events/1433050833655808/
ABOUT YOUR FACILITATORS:

Sex and relationship expert Reid Mihalko of www.ReidAboutSex.com helps adults create more self-esteem, self-confidence and greater health in their relationships and sex lives using an inspiring mixture of humor and knowledge. Reid’s workshops and college lectures have been attended by close to 40,000 men and women. He has appeared in media such as Oprah’s Our America With Lisa Ling on OWN, the Emmy award-winning talk show Montel, Dr. Phil’s The Doctors on CBS, Bravo’s Miss Advised, Fox News, in Newsweek, Seventeen, GQ, The Washington Post, and in thirteen countries and at least seven languages.

Monique Darling, San Diego, CA, Authenticity, Vulnerability and Relationship coach is the founder of Juicy Enlightenment which provides workshops and experiential play-shops in the art of Tantra and conscious loving. She has studied and taught with renowned Tantra teachers and extraordinary workshop facilitators since 1990 and is a certified Cuddly Party Facilitator. She has been featured on TLC and The Dr’s and has been interviewed by magazines across the USA. Monique is dedicated to empowering others utilizing her vast repertoire of cutting-edge teachings. She specializes is helping others reclaim their power and natural sensuality by transmuting fear and repression into courage, self-love and freedom. She guides from a place of understanding and her natural exuberance is infectious! She is available for private sessions, experiential workshops and Cuddle Parties. www.juicyenlightenment.com
She is devoted to helping YOU uncover your magnificence!!! To empower YOU, who dream of something more, to awaken further and discover it is within you. You have all the answers, let her help you remember the questions.

Sexual Repression to Expansion

sexual repression to expansion  Sexual Repression to Expansion

How does one go from being sexually depleted, lacking desire, energy or passion to finally feeling their own pleasure again?

I consider the body as a being of energy, light and movement, and with awareness, and knowledge of what is going on inside the body, what is going on in the mind, how the body feels physically, and the energy surrounding the body, one can get access to how to alter it to feeling how they “choose” to feel!

That is a lot to sort and figure out, one might say! However, really, our bodies are capable of so much more than we realize, and we ourselves have the ability to adapt, alter or change how we feel at any given moment. We can shift our focus onto what we are thinking and feeling, by what where we choose to place our attention. So, if we can do this, why not alter how our entire body feels at any given moment?

Some call me an Alchemist, because I have the ability to do this, however, it is a fun process to figure out what is going on, what is blocked, and then hone in to exactly the path to shift one’s physical sensation and reality.

So on to the subject of “Sexual Repression to Expansion”:

What are you dealing with emotionally? You can take on practices to sooth your feelings, clear them or calm them down.

Where are the emotions stored in your body? You can do visualization exercises, energy healing practices, chakra clearing and guided visualization or meditation to alter or dissolve the un-happy or stuck feelings that are not filled with light, joy or love.

What does your energy feel like around your body? Does it feel heavy or dark? Does it feel mucky or clouded? Does it feel intense like anger or a wall? Does it feel confused or sad?

How does your body feel physically? Are your muscles sore or tight? (and where). Do you feel tired, lethargic, or weak and maybe prone to getting colds (weakened immune system).

Once you discover these 4 main areas, and whether some or all need to be addressed, you can go deeper into tackling the energies that are causing the repression. One area may take significantly more importance than another, and possibly need to put all your attention on it for a while before moving on to the next. After all these are done, then you can go into the specific chakras that are asking for the most attention, do some chakra clearing practices, movement of the energies, and work on releasing the weight within in. That’s when it starts to get fun!

Once all the issues have been resolved, the chakras are moving, cleared and open, then you can go into the tantra meditation that will create expansion! And from there anything is possible!

If this sounds easy, try it out for yourself! See if you can take it on and create the movement you desire! And, if you need a little help, feel free to ask for it, and send me a message!

Lovingly to your pleasure and success,

Asttarte xoxo

Sex and Being Upset

Sex and Being UpsetWhen you are carrying upset in your heart, be it sadness, making someone wrong, holding resentment, judgment or anger, sexual energy may be missing and at most, going into the act of sex will be for the wrong reasons.

The idea of sex is a very personal matter, and when there is any upset at the person you hold the most dear to your heart, it makes sense that the sexual drive may be lacking or absent all together.  Is it more important to you to have sex, or is it more important to you to be connected to the person you love? What I mean is, do you find yourself driven by the desire of sex more than the drive to have love in your heart with the person dearest to you?

Perhaps the person dearest to you, you have given up on, or perhaps you have been resigned about something you are upset about and have decided not to deal with it, talk about it or confront it with the person. When I say “Being Upset”, I mean simply being upset. Not everyone is willing to admit that they are just simply upset with the person they love. They might find it more appealing to focus instead on sex, or focus instead on another person, or another activity. But when it comes down to it and after much time has passed, the reality is you may be upset with someone. Maybe you left the relationship all-together and are even trying to date someone new, but don’t even know why you are 1. either not attracting anyone new in your life, or 2. are not feeling fulfilled by the new person, or 3. have no sexual drive with the new person at all. Consider that you just may be upset with the person you were previously with, and on many levels still love them very much!

If you are still open to the person you deeply love, cheers to you for realizing your love, and being committed to waiting until the time is right to work out your differences.  Not everyone is willing to wait to work things out. Many people often give deadlines and say, “I will give you 6 months,” or “I will give you 1 year to x,” or “If this doesn’t work out by the end of this year or next year xxx….” and what you have is an ultimatum, and ultimately a heart that is blocked and shut down, and incompletion with a solution with the exact person you love the most!

When your heart is shut down from the person you love the most, do you still have sex with them? What is your sex like? Does it satisfy and fulfill you? Or do you feel something is missing and an emptiness?

No one is perfect, and upset happens. You are a human being. We all have upsets. They come and go and then you work it out.  But when you don’t work it out, what do you do? How do you deal with your upsets with the person you love the most? Do you avoid them, walk away and try to resolve it on your own? Do you talk to your friends for advice? Do you shut out the world and pretend it didn’t happen?

And when there is something missing with the person you love the most, do you know that you are actually just holding onto something, and upset with them?

Sometimes the act of forgiveness, love, and letting go of something that happened or how you are feeling about someone close to you is harder than many people know. Deciding to forgive someone, and telling yourself you forgive them, is not nearly the same as truly dealing with your feelings, unraveling them as far as they need to go, and then knowing 100% for sure you have forgiven them is a completely different thing! Admitting to yourself that you are upset, your feelings are hurt and telling the real truth to the person you love, is the first step in truly forgiving them, and when you can do that, you just might start to unravel your feelings and open up your heart again! And if your heart is open, doesn’t it only make sense that your sexual drive returns, your passion and your state of peace and satisfaction? 🙂

It is a true gift! And, sometimes we need an outside person to kick us in the head and open our eyes! And then, all the rewards show up!

Namaste,

Asttarte

Sexual Energy and Stress

Sexual Energy and Stress Sexual Energy and Stress

When your sexual energy is missing, there is often a reason. Perhaps your energy is going towards dealing     with a stressful situation. Perhaps you are taking on the energy at work.  Perhaps someone you love needs   your attention and support, or maybe you are exhausted or dealing with something in your body that is   causing your energy to give it its attention.

If you are at the affect of your surroundings, it will impact your energy in your own body, your level of   stress, your vitality and your passion.  And, also, when you are going through a health situation that is   taking up most of your bodies energy, that too will deplete your sexual energy and cause your body to put its energy where it is needed.

Keep in mind, all of these situations are temporary. You have the power to purify your energy and come back to your vitality, and you have the power to regain your health, and bring back your bodies natural resources, gifts and qualities.

Don’t push pressure on yourself to be perfect and have your ultimate natural sexuality the way it was before. Know that it will return, and you have the power to do so. And, your best quality is patience with yourself, love for your body and knowing who you are, and surrendering to the present moment so you can do your spiritual practice, your healing practice and your health routine.

What are you dealing with in your health that is affecting your sexuality?

What you are dealing with in your life that is causing you stress, anxiety or repression in your sexuality?

Let’s meet together to do a spiritual practice, chakra healing and energy purification to help the process along!

If you have questions, please ask!

Love,

Asttarte

Mothers as Sexual Beings

Mothers as Sexual Beings

Mothers as Sexual BeingsAs a Parent, you have a lot of responsibilities. There are many people in your life that you need to consider how they feel, but you must not forget, in particular as a woman, how important you are, and how imperative it is in getting your own needs met. Women who avoid their personal, intimate and sexual needs often start out as being irritable, then they move to disgust and anger, and eventually they go numb. They can spend many years forgetting that their body is in need of touch, and live life unfulfilled and with a huge void where pressures of their children, work, and their external family become more important. They then live in a reality where their intimate selves are completely pushed under the carpet and they don’t even know that they exist. Their bodies become armored, stiff, stuck in a cave hidden to their own passions; their own pleasures and most importantly forgetting their inner hearts and the love that is deep inside of them.

This then sets up a trap for her husband, her co-parent in action and they then move from lovers to perhaps best friends or business partners. They justify their lack of intimacy that their children are more important and “they really need us right now.” However, consider this: when you are unhappy, when your body is guarded, when you are not seen as a sexual beautiful woman or are not letting yourself be seen as a beautiful woman of pleasure, joy and power, your children will feel this. They will feel your suppression. They will feel your anger. They will feel your frustration, because most likely, you will put more energy into the children. You will react more to their behaviors and become more disciplinarian with them. And this then sets up another trap; your children avoiding you, or becoming distant from you; the one thing you truly did NOT want to happen.

Children who see their parents in love, sharing love, and experiencing love with each other grow up to view intimacy with others in a more natural healthy way. When children grow up viewing their parents; their direct most important and significant teachers, avoiding each other, giving each other the silent treatment or in other words not speaking about topics that are crucial to their relationship, to their sexual life and to their family, the children learn from this. They grow up thinking it is okay to keep secrets from people, that it is ok to avoid the people they love, that it is normal to not be close to the people they love, and this then sets them up for failure. They lose their self in this reality of what they believe to be true. They have no other role models that are more important than their parents. And when you want to be a good parent and a good teacher to your children, express your sexual self to your husband, your Beloved, your Lover and don’t make him your friend or business partner.

If you have young children, of course you want to express your full sexual desires in the bedroom AFTER your child is asleep, however your affections with each other after the fact bring long term affects, to each other and to your children. The love you bring to each other gets shared and spread out throughout your whole family. Everyone will feel it, and EVERYONE will benefit.