Men who Overpower

Men who Overpower

Men Who Overpower

Why do some men think they have to get one up over women? If they feel the woman is not sexually aroused by them, they automatically assume she’s shut down, or turned off, when perhaps she just might not be turned on by him! Perhaps they take such offense to it, and have anger about it, that they would rather insult the woman instead. It’s funny! I heard this particular person was screaming and yelling at his wife, right before he decided to insult me! That alone confirmed my intuitive feeling about the person, to not take what he said SO seriously, and instead to consider why he was making the judgments or assumptions without even knowing who I am! (And, for a moment there I was starting to feel doubt about myself, and believe him. That didn’t last long).

We, as women, can be the targets for a lot of male dominant anger, and if we are a gentle soul, nice, kind and grounded, some think they can just walk all over us! However, they cannot just walk all over us, and degrade, insult or put us down. We will find out, our intuitive powers will lead us, guide us, and show us the truth.

So this is what happened: this indian man I meet randomly (last weekend), at a place that’s supposed to be geared for ALL women by the way, tells me that he knows me. He says, “you emailed me saying you liked my article, and wanted to share it!” I said, “Oh, that’s nice!” It was regarding white tantra, and authentic tantra compared to what the western world thinks tantra is. I said, “Ok!” This was probably about 5 or 6 years ago. Then he went to telling me about my energy, that I’m not with a good partner (which he did not know and was none of his business), and telling me how he thought I should be. Now, I had just taken my first Biofeedback Session a few days prior for Lyme Disease, and had been extremely tired, detoxing, and resting. Of course my energy was tired. I knew that, but it doesn’t mean I wouldn’t have gotten through that, and am working on it. He offered his phone number and healing services for free, but said some things I didn’t even choose to remember. They didn’t resonate with me. I looked at him funny! He said, he was a glorified Tantra Master and has been since he was 18 years old. That’s kind of proud and egotistical. And, his energy was not kind or loving. It felt persuasive, aggressive, and controlling, like he had no trouble crossing people’s boundaries, even energetic boundaries. But I stood my ground, watched him talk, say his speech, even accepted the number, smiled and walked away. After that, I stayed away from him, not even making eye contact.

Then I received an anonymous book in the mail from some random person to my name a couple days ago, Asttarte Deva, with no apt number, and no indication of who it was from. Perhaps it was also from this person. It was the book Loving What Is. Now, yes, this is a good book, I already own it. However, sometimes people send these anonymous things as a way of letting me know they are angry, hurt by me, and trying to make me change, when they in themself are hurting by my rejection of them! So, when people send these things without any means of communication, they are playing the passive aggressive role, and almost doing it out of spite, and trying to get back at me. I don’t feed into that bs. If anyone wants my book, I am glad to give it to you as a free gift! 🙂

Honestly, I think this person was horny, perhaps was attracted to me, and then felt insulted I had absolutely NO sexual desire for him! Poor baby!

Right after the exchange we had at the event, I went to another booth with an amazing Shaman and Wiccan, and received a crystal healing session that lasted maybe 15 minutes. After that session, my energy lit up, I felt vibrant, passionate and happy! I chose to go to other places that were uplifting, fun, and lifted me up, saw my light and gifts, and relaxed with some very cool new Goddess friends! 🙂

So, if any man ever insults you for you not being aroused, consider, he might actually be passively telling you he wants you, but in a not so nice way!

 

 

 

Birth Trauma Healing

Birth Trauma Healing

Giving Birth art2Birth Trauma Healing

I had an amazing healing session yesterday, and it was so eye opening I thought I would share it with you. The process was a process of discovery. I had no idea what would show up, but the result was enlightening, empowering and transformational. I discovered later that Charles Muir uses this same exact technique to his students of Tantra who wish to become Daka’s and Dakinis. My experience was beautiful as well.

The intention was a yoni massage, for healing any trauma, anger, or pain stored in the lower chakras. I wanted to address my own issues related to being drawn to unhealthy men, and attachment to those who cannot love me in return. “I am determined!” I said. We were in discovery of The Sexual Practices of Quodoushka. That in itself was interesting, fun and enlightening (to find out what animal you are based on shamanic teachings is pretty fun).

As we went deeper into our healing session, I had the urge to have something “fill me on both sides!” I wanted the feeling of pressure inside my inner walls. We then discovered the pressure my body was asking for was right on the bone, and this is exactly where trauma is stored inside the woman, from rape, abusive relationships and giving birth to a baby. Many women are unable to heal this trauma from just simple talk therapy, or even rape specialists. The emotional energy gets “stuck” in the bone, and in the fascia right on the inner lining of the bone where pressure would have been experienced from the baby’s tiny skull, or from a man penetrating a woman without the woman’s consent, agreement or desire. This was eye opening, and every woman deserves to clear these blocks, if they have them.

Giving Birth art

I discovered around the area of 5 o’clock and 7 o’clock is where most women stored the most rage, trauma and pain and as the giver “watch out!” Her Kali like energy and emotions will rise to the surface and she may want to rip you a new head if you’re inside her performing this healing. I learned that one woman in the tantra training said, “Get the f..k out of me!” This woman had not healed any of her rape yet. I have actually healed a lot of my own trauma, but I had not cleared any birth trauma, and did not even know it was possible. As I got present to my experience, I noticed, “that really hurts!!!” and then I started to really cry, with a little embarrassment. When we went around the clock again and found the Kali spot on me, my friend who was giving the healing said, “Ok, this is the Kali spot you may have anger here.” And, I said, “I’m not angry. Ok, that hurts like hell. What the f**k?” And started pulling on his shirt and smacked it. He said, “Ha ha. Yeah, you’re not angry.” And, I laughed. I thought I handled it pretty darn well actually.

I’ve taken healing trainings to heal trauma for women, and trainings to help them open up to their sexual arousal again from being blocked, but this was awesome! I needed something deeper and this was perfect! How cool is it to receive training when you’re already a practitioner, and can learn one on one pretty quickly! I love it. I discovered this technique can help women who have been sexually shut down to really open back up again to who they were before. And right after the session, I wasn’t afraid to walk through my friends home naked to get my clothes that were in a bag on the opposite side of the room. How cool is that? 🙂 (my friend was outside on the phone, but still that’s progress!)

Taking a Stand

Taking a Stand

Taking a StandTaking a Stand

There are moments that give us opportunities to look deeper, ask further and give rise to something greater!

A recent event happened at the end of June, where I was in a very intimate encounter with a man, whom I felt very safe with, adored, and made me laugh often, and out of the blue after we made love, he put a pillow over my head for a few seconds. I couldn’t breathe, and when he lifted the pillow, I said, “You deserve to be smacked!” He said, “Oh its not a big deal. Don’t worry about it!’ Well, after numerous conversations with numerous coaches and my therapist, I decided I ought to jump in to truly healing my rape from 2005, at a much deeper level than I had before.

My therapist believed this to be a new trauma, however, from other conversations, I believe it was a re-visiting of the old, and a reminder, to go deeper, and a decision was made, “I’m am ready to remove this from my body completely and do whatever it takes to take out any reaction from any future encounter.”

I decided to go to a group therapy/education meeting in Philadelphia, and this has been eye opening. From all the Transformational Coaching conversations, my body was still having reactions as though that event in June stirred up something that happened just yesterday. I had to deal with those reactions all of July and now being August. My performance in my Leadership Training has dwindled, and I’ve experienced exhaustion, being checked out, and a new desire of writing the story from 05, and a book to truly help other women! I felt pain in my womb area and lower abdomen all last week, to the point I thought I needed to go to the hospital. They found nothing, and said, “You are perfectly healthy,” and suggested to follow up with a doctor. And on Sunday morning, after having 4 women from my leadership training stay with me TO BE SURE I did the weekend course, it dawned on me, I was angry and really sad, and that realization brought tears to my eyes, and the pain in my female area lessened.

The women’s meeting today was eye opening. There were women in there much worse off than myself, one’s trauma who had only just happened a couple months ago, and another who developed multiple disorders and diagnoses due to her experiences. I found myself truly wanting to help them, give them support, listen and be sure they said what they needed say.

This only proves my desire to write my book even stronger, having women’s gatherings even stronger, and my stand for women even greater! I will conquer this. I am conquering this, and I will help many women who need it!

Asttarte