How Do You Nurture Yourself?

How Do You Nurture Yourself?

how do you future yourselfHow Do You Nurture Yourself?

How you nurture yourself all depends on what it is you are dealing with in your personal life.

Are you dealing with health matters?

Are you having relationship challenges and feeling your partner at arms length?

Is your family avoiding you and ignoring you or your feelings?

Are you having a higher level of stress and anxiety than normal?

Are you feeling more angry than normal, more tired than normal?

Are you feeling isolated, alone, sad?

How do you nurture yourself in these different situations? They each have different paths one would take to feel better, heal, come to solutions or happiness depending on the circumstance.

The first thing that is helpful is to do a daily meditation practice. You can start with 10 minutes, 15 minutes, 20 minutes, or 30 minutes. Just that short window of time will make you feel so much better. some people like to jump in and start with an hour. If you have the time, go for the hour. If not, try a smaller time frame.

Then do something that’s going to nurture your soul, perhaps a new spiritual practice, such as yoga, chakra healing, reading a spiritual book, learning about angels, crystals, breath work, or even getting acupuncture, massage or a reiki treatment.

Another excellent practice is drinking a specific tea that is helpful for your situation. There are many teas on the market, and many you can make at home. Most teas are made with natural herbs and are a cheaper solution than buying multiple bottles of different herbs, or oils. Herbs and essential oils can be costly when buying in bulk, but teas are very affordable. Try to match your situation with the type of tea that would be helpful for that. If you don’t know, try seeking a tea expert, an herbalist, or feel free to reach out to me for suggestions.

Next, write down everything that is going on. It is very helpful to write down your feelings, and using your writing as a sort of therapy. Writing is very cathartic and sometimes when you write down what you feel, what happened, and the situation, it can help you let it go and feel so much better about things. Then you are able to move on from it, and almost feel empowered that you expressed yourself. Some people don’t like to write, but try pushing yourself a little, via a wordpress document, in notes on your computer, or even writing in a spiral notebook or nice journal book. It sometimes feels very good to write things down with a real pen or pencil. It touches a different part of the brain and releases energy pent up in your throat and lower chakras, believe it or not. It’s not going to have the same benefit as a meditation, or chakra healing, but it is still quite powerful.

Are you an artist, musician or do you like doing things with your hands? This could be a great way to nurture your inner self, and help get through a challenging event, experience, or point in your life. You don’t have to be an expert. As long as you do it, put your heart into it and are intentional, anything you do can be helpful, and in the end, amazing!

What is it you are dealing with? Talk to me here! I’m happy to respond!

Overeaters, Weight Loss and Yoga

Overeaters, Weight Loss and Yoga

overeaters-weight-loss-and-yoga-3For Overeaters, Weight Loss and Yoga

Health Coaching for those who wish to lose weight!

As soon as you notice you are bloated, gassy, and you ate something that made your stomach feel heavy, weighs you down, and made your stomach stick out more than your normal diet of healthy foods, pay attention to that!!!!! Notice…..write that food down!!!! And don’t eat it again (for a LONG time), and perhaps, maybe, eat a grapefruit the next time you have the craving, drink some water, or just meditate and focus on the feeling in your body!!! What you could do, now this is just what I do, you have free will, but you could go into yoga poses that enhance the release of the gas!!! Literally, make yourself fart!!!! There are a bunch of yoga poses that help do that!!! And do them! And, even rest. Sometimes when we eat foods that make us feel gross inside, it affects everything else too, and we just need to relax, lay down, or sit. That could be a great time to meditate. Do your journaling of your food diet, or whatever else you want to journal about, read, etc. Don’t let other people push you around. Just do what’s going to heal you, and make YOU feel good!

 

Excellent alternative for those who can't go deep into the stretch right away. Props are used to support the body to rest fully. One can also use a prop under the buttocks if yours knees bend but can't get the buttocks down to your ankles.
Excellent alternative for those who can’t go deep into the stretch right away. Props are used to support the body to rest fully. One can also use a prop under the buttocks if yours knees bend but can’t get the buttocks down to your ankles.

 

Note: Any yoga poses that put pressure on the stomach, actually are the poses that help release that feeling in the belly, the gas, etc. Ie. child pose, knees to chest when laying on the back, etc. And there are alternatives to poses that make poses much easier than what you see in books, on tv, etc and they can support you to do the poses when you think you can’t.

Yoga is a very powerful form of weight loss! Not only will it help strengthen and stretch the body, it will also aid in detoxing and releasing toxins, energy and weight that has been stuck in the body for some time. The longer the weight has been held up in the body, most likely, the longer it will take to let it go. However, don’t give up on yourself. Give yourself the time, and pleasure of yoga, self awareness and healing to lose your weight and get the body back that you love!

Asttarte Deva has been practicing yoga since 1998. She has completed 4 Yoga Teacher Trainings so far, a Hatha Yoga Teacher Training, A Vinyasa Yoga Teacher Training, a Yin Yoga Teacher Training and took a Classic Yoga Teacher Training. She has been a Holistic Healer, and studied Chinese Medicine, 5 Elements and a Natural Healer since 1997. She will be glad to support you in your long term health needs!

overeaters, weight loss and yoga 3
Excellent for releasing gas! Again, make adjustments as needed for your comfort. You want to try to hold the pose for at least 5 to 10 minutes for maximum benefit!

 

Dedicated to my friend Jess!

Relationship Trauma & Anxiety

Relationship Trauma & Anxiety

relationship trauma & anxiety

Relationship Trauma & Anxiety

For the past three months, my life has altered in a dramatic way. Things happened that I had no expectation or awareness they could, and life has taken an unexpected turn. Something happened very personal, that caused me to have to take a serious measure and a stand for myself and my son. I had to file for Protection against a man I have loved profoundly for the past nine years, and a man I thought had loved me in return. I had no idea what the results would be with this action. I had no idea if I would gain the protection I sought, or what would then follow if I had not. Although, I knew I needed to take a stand. I knew enough was enough. And, I knew the stand was more for my son than for myself.

A forced legal custody arrangement was placed on the spot immediately following my inability to acquire the permanent protection, and my body was manifesting symptoms I had no control over. All the meditation, prayer and energy work I did on myself could not stop this process. All the prayers I did for him could not stop this process.

During the time of the temporary protection (around a month and 1/2), I became super clear I had been in love with a mad man, and someone who has extreme mental illness. It became clear I had spent years trying to help him heal, and he was in utter denial he needed it, and in utter denial there was a reason for him to seek any form of help that could be a solution, albeit temporary to his dangerous psychosis. I am very clear this man has Bipolar, as one of the many aspects to his behavior, however, that aspect would be a gift if that was all it was. I am not a Clinical doctor (yet), but I am very aware of personality disorders, disassociation, mental illness and mental health. If I could be the fairy that waved her magic wand over this sad unconscious soul, I would have done it years ago. And, in many ways, I tried, granted unsuccessfully.

It would make sense that stress or anxiety (and even symptoms of PTSD) could show up when anyone has to deal with another person of this character (sociopathic/psychopathic/schizoid/anti-social/depression). Thankfully I’m so proactively working on myself I don’t have the extreme of ptsd in my system, but considerable anxiety has had its way of taking over.

How could anxiety show up and manifest when dealing with such an extreme person?

It could show up as:

hyperventilating (or panic attacks)

hives

insomnia

loss of appetite (or increase)

isolation

depression (lethargy)

fear

serious disconnection from spirit (or spiritual practices)/loss of faith in God

energy blockages/energy stuck/cloudiness

During an intense change in a relationship, when you were going on a certain path and direction with someone you loved, with goals of marriage, living together and family, and then the sick person you love takes a sudden turn and changes their mood, behavior, feelings toward you from deep love to utter distance, changes the way they walk, talk and act, and becomes abusive and attacks you and those you love, having symptoms such as the ones above are extremely normal. Don’t let this delusional person tell you any different! If they start pointing fingers that there’s something wrong with you, that’s only confirmation of their illness.

My symptoms manifested mostly as hives, and I studied everything I could to determine how to treat this. My own research was far more successful and helpful than going to my doctor. I found home remedies online, and these were the most successful that I tried: (I also added my own techniques here as well)

oatmeal baths

cool or cold compresses

the herb nettle (can be found at a health food store)

fish oil capsules

meditation and relaxation (and deep breathing)

chamomile essential oil (most awesome was Wild Chamomile Oil; more expensive but fantastic). German Chamomile Oil, and Roman Chamomile Oil. The oils in jojoba oil do work and if they are all you can afford, get it. The pure oils of course are more potent! This helps with anxiety, stress, sleep and throughout the day.

chamomile tea (not as strong as the oil, but nice)

valerian herbal remedy

determining food triggers

witch hazel (helped only slightly)

Bach flower essences (rescue remedy and others you are drawn to)

Cosmic Love Essence

Healing Sessions, Reiki, Energy Healing (receive from friends or healers, and do self healing if you are trained as well)

Chakra Balancing (meditation, working with crystals, pendulum balancing, yoga, etc).

Relaxing Baths

Prayer

Therapy, EMDR, Psychotherapy, Support Groups, Group Therapy, Counseling

Landmark (landmarkworldwide.com)

A Course in Miracles

Hanging out with friends and family

Reading, movies,

Exercise, yoga, rock climbing, skating, walking, staying active, etc.

Walking outside in cool or cold air

Anything that makes YOU happy!

 

Stages After Leaving the Abuser Could Be (in quotes taken from The Sociopath at the Breakfast Table):

frightened – “that the same thing will happen again, or that you might lose control of your feelings and break down”, that he will hurt you again, and your love for him is too strong to stay away.

helpless – “that something really bad happened and you could do nothing about it, leaving you feeling vulnerable and overwhelmed”, that you can’t control how powerful he is, in his vindictive ways, his seductive ways, and his false image of love.

angry – “about what has happened and at whoever was responsible”, and at those who took his side and didn’t believe you, at yourself for trying to help him, and who didn’t protect you or your child

guilty – “that you could have done something to prevent it”, when he shows love for you again, when he finally says he’s sorry, that you shouldn’t have given up on trying to help him to get help

sad – “particularly if you or other people (your children, perhaps) have been affected”, sad in particular that your child will be exposed to this man for the rest of his life, and you may not be able to protect him, sad and scared your child could be fated to become just like him.

ashamed or embarrassed – “that you have strong feelings you can’t control, especially if you need others to support you”. I am happy to accept the help when it comes my way, but this may be relevant for others. Ashamed that I as a Healer, could not see this or prevent it.

relieved – “that the danger is over and that the cause of the danger is gone”. I have come to this point, however, there’s always the risk that he will become like this again, he changes several times a year (or every other year depending on his triggers) into a new person. When co-parenting, there is no escaping; only managing. It’s best to stay friends and minimize reasons for him to become triggered.

hopeful – “that your life will return to normal; people start to feel more positive about things quite soon after a trauma”. Every person is different. If it was a repeated trauma, or a long term relationship, it could take longer than ‘soon’ as this book says! This perhaps is the less severe case, and milder psychosis. You can’t always agree with everything in a book.

The process of grieving, however, does come to an end, and one can assume they will come back to balance, so long as they don’t return to the relationship as it was. If, in all this effort, he does get some help, I will be grateful, however, with his assumed imbalances (chemical, non-chemical and untreated), it is not likely he will ever heal, or heal completely. The best solution, is gaining strength and power and protecting myself for when he does change again, because most likely he will…in due time. You can’t ever trust a psychopath or a narcissist to stay sweet. Assume he’s only doing doing that, to try to get something, or win whatever game he’s playing. And a Psychopath/or Anti-Social/or Mama’s Boy, is almost always also bipolar, so don’t expect him to stay the way he is right now. You never know when he’ll change his mind!

In God and Goddess’s Arms,

Asttarte

 

Extremely helpful books:

The Manipulative Man, Identify his Behavior, Counter his Abuse, Regain Control,  by: Dorothy McCoy, Ed.D.

Psychopaths and Love, by A.B. Admin

The Sociopath at the Breakfast Table; Recognizing and Dealing with Antisocial and Manipulative People, by: Dr. Jane McGregor & Tim McGregor

Women Who Love Psychopaths; Inside the Relationships of Inevitable Harm With Psychopaths, Sociopaths, & Narcissists, by: Sandra L. Brown, M.A.

Why Does He Do That; Inside the Minds of Angry & Controlling Men, by: Lundy Bancroft

When Dad Hurts Mom: Helping Your Children Heal the Wounds of Witnessing Abuse, by: Lundy Bancroft

Stop Spinning, Start Breathing; Managing the Memories that Keep us Addicted, by: Zari Ballard

Who’s Pulling your Strings; How to Break the Cycle of Manipulation and Regain Control of Your Life, by: Harriet B. Braiker, PhD.

Emotional Vampires; Dealing with People Who Drain You Dry, by: Albert J. Bernstein, PhD

When Love is A Lie; Narcissistic Partners & the Pathological Relationship Agenda, by: Zari Ballard

Other Helpful Books:

Narcissistic Lovers; How to Cope, Recover and Move On, by: Cynthia Zayn & Kevin Dibble, M.S.

Why is It Always About You; the Seven early Sins of Narcissism, by: Sandy Hotchkiss, LCSW

Disarming the Narcissist; Surviving & Thriving with the Self Absorbed, by: Wendy T. Behary, LCSW

The Wizard of Oz and other Narcissists; Coping with the One Way Relationship in Work, Love and Family, by: Eleanor D. Payson, MSW

Boundaries and Relationships; Knowing, Protecting and Enjoying the Self, by: Charles L. Whitfield, MD

The Object of my Affection is In My Reflection; Coping with Narcissists, by: Rockelle Lerner

The Enabler; when helping hurts the ones you love, by: Angelyn Miller, MA

Where to Draw the Line; How to Set Healthy Boundaries Every Day, by: Anne Katherine, MA

Women Who Love Too Much; When you Keep Wishing and Hoping He’ll Change, by: Robin Norwood

Coming Apart; Why Relationships End & how to live through the ending of yours, by: Daphne Rose Kingma

I Know This Much Is True, by: Wally Lamb (Oprah’s Book Club)

 

 

OM MANI PEME HUM

The Meaning Of
Om Mani Peme Hum

by Ven. ZaChoeje Rinpoche

 

Om Mani Peme Hum is the most widely used of all Buddhist mantras. It is open to anyone who feels inspired to practice it to develop great love and compassion. This mantra originated in India and it is in Sanskrit. Once, Buddha Shakyamuni was dwelling at the monastery of Anathapindika, in Jeta Grove, with his disciples. He introduced this remarkable Six-Syllable Mantra to the assembly and said: “This is the most beneficial mantra. Even I made this aspiration to all the million Buddhas and subsequently received this mantra from Buddha Amitabha.” The meaning of this mantra is:Om, it is composed of three letters, A, U, M; these symbolize the pure exalted body, speech and mind of a Buddha and Bodhisattva.

Mani, meaning jewel, symbolizes the method, great compassion and love. Just as a jewel is capable of fulfilling the outer needs of sentient beings, similarly, love and compassion are capable of fulfilling the inner needs of sentient beings.

Peme, meaning lotus, symbolizes wisdom. Just as a lotus grows from mud but is not polluted with mud, similarly, wisdom “the supreme knowledge” is grown from ordinary mind but not polluted with ordinary thoughts.

Hum, indicates union. The union of method and wisdom leads to pure exalted body, speech and mind of enlightened beings.

Thus the six syllables, Om Ma ni Pe me Hum, mean that through the practice of a path that is a union of love and compassion with wisdom, you can transform your impure body, speech and mind into the pure exalted body, speech and mind of a Buddha. The merits of reciting this Mantra are limitless and cannot be fully described even by the Buddha. It is said that the sand of the Ganges and the drops of water in the ocean can be counted but not the merits from the recitation of this Mantra. This Mantra is the great love and compassion manifestation of all the Buddhas. It helps us to develop the love and compassion to make our life full of meaning. Also this mantra can bring healing and can be use as a prayer for other sentient being.


The Om Mani Peme Hum Mantra In Tibetan Script

Original Source: ABuddhistLibrary.com

Death, Prayer and Connecting to The Deceased

WHEREVER I GO
AND WHATEVER I SEE
IN MY HEART AND SOUL
YOU’LL ALWAYS BE WITH ME
~Ken Wilbur, Grace and Spirit
“Though the ordinary man looks upon death with dread and sadness, those who have gone before know it is a wondrous experience of peace and freedom.” 
~Paramahansa Yogananda

Death

When someone you love dies, it is significant shatter to your spirit. It may be overwhelming for some at first, or perhaps the shock doesn’t come until later, days or even years. But as I am being witness to myself in observing what death feels like to me, with someone I was very close with, I notice the desire to connect to my loved one in little reminders of her, and things that make me think of her. I feel that we do things to comfort our urge in being close to our loved one, and in doing so, it is part of our own healing process of the acceptance of their loss. Death is a huge subject, and all people handle it in their own way. Some people don’t feel a desire to connect to their loved one, but many like to connect to them in any way they can. When death happens, and in particular to a significant person in someone’s family; someone who was a leader to all those that followed, it can and will make a huge difference in how the rest of the family relate to one another, and hold gatherings that they always had organized in their deceased loved one’s honor.

I can foresee the future of my own family, having perhaps resistance to doing things any differently since the tradition stayed consistent for many years during our grandmothers later years when she was no longer able to go to places to celebrate, and we all gathered where she was, to support her in being a part of the family, and doing things together; including her, but sacrificing what might be more fun to everyone else since she could hardly walk. On some level, we let her lead our events because of this, and compromised our own needs or desires, and even though now we might be able to finally get out there and expand our horizons, we just might continue doing the same thing we have always done, as change might be hard for anyone to grieve the loss of the one they love; and in particular a grandmother who lived nearly a century.

“Our real self, the soul, is immortal. We may sleep for a little while while in that change called death, but we can never be destroyed. We exist, and that existence is eternal. The wave comes to the shore, and then goes back to the sea; it is not lost. It becomes one with the ocean, or returns again in the form of another wave. (a reference to reincarnation). This body has come, and it will vanish; but the soul essence within it will never cease to exist. Nothing can terminate that eternal consciousness.”
~ Paramahansa Yogananda
“The word “death” is a great misnomer, for there is no death; when you are tired of life, you simply take off the overcoat of flesh and go back to the astral world.”
~Paramahansa Yogananda

Prayer

No matter what beliefs or religion you have, it is crucial to pray, and prayer alone has so much power and sacredness in it, but when you pray in the honor of your deceased loved one, it takes prayer, intention and your focus to a whole new level.

The meaning of the word prayer is: 1. A reverent petition made to a deity. 2. An act of praying. 3. A specially worded form of praying. 4. prayers. A religious observance in which praying predominates. 5. A fervent request. 6. The slightest chance.

In the act of praying, you are creating a new relationship with what it is you are praying for; whether you are praying the same thing over and over again, or recreating your vision, view or relationship to that which you are praying to, or praying for. Prayer alone creates magic! It creates a feeling of magic within oneself that anything is possible, and what it is you are praying to gets to experience you as the creator of your vision. The energy of your spirit multiplies into the universe and sends out the intention into the world, and as your intention is magnified and your heart goes out into what you are praying to, most of the time, the prayer is received and returned. Our thoughts have power in them, and our words, even more powerful. When we speak our words into the world, our words create a reality that match what it is we desire, what we believe and what we long for. Hence, when we speak words of love, loving things return to us. And, therefore, when we speak words of anger, vengeance or darkness, dark experiences often come to us. It is so crucial to put intention into ones words, and in the journey of healing, never to be intentional about causing harm to any other human being, but rather be intentional about how you are feeling, being honest, truthful and kind. What one wants may not always manifest, but when one speaks of ones desires with love, intention and power, you just never know what will happen. You may be gifted with a glorious surprise!

“The first thing that happens when we die, is what we believe will happen to us when we die.”
~Gretchen Vogel

Prayer and Connecting To Your Deceased Loved One


I’ve been reading this remarkable book called: Choices In The Afterlife; What We Can Do and Where We Can Go After Death, by: Gretchen Vogel, and it is extraordinary. I’m discovering that every personality, every human who passes onto the spirit world lives into the same personality that they had while they were living. Some who leave go onto their next journey and finally reconnect with the love of their life again, or have a reunion with their parents that were long gone before they died. In a way they are having a party on the astral realm, free from the limitations of their body, or the pain that existed in their limbs. Some of them choose to stay near by, watching over their loved ones who are still living; as a Guardian Angel of sorts, and others go up higher into the spirit world, making peace with the life they lived on earth, and prepare to move on to their next destination, and often times preparing to be reborn once again.

When someone first dies, I believe they stay on the Earth Realm for several weeks before they move onto their next place, and during those first few weeks after death, is the most sacred and significant time to pray to them, for they haven’t quite left the Earth yet, or in a sense, they are preparing to decide where they want to go next. Some beliefs feel as though if you pray to them too much, you are overpowering them with your will and keeping them back by staying near you. However, in the acceptance and grieving for both you and your deceased loved one, I believe it is important to pray to them; to let them know you love them, accept that they chose to move on, and give of your heart to them. This helps them to make the next decisions they need to make to prepare for their next work. Some, I feel, can choose to be angels, however, not constrained by the 3rd Dimension of the Earth, but living higher in the 4th Dimension and making themselves available to you upon your request. I believe they may stay this way for a short time or a very long time, and when they are ready to return to Earth, they will prepare themselves for coming into a new body. I believe while they are on the astral realm, they are in training so to speak, and whatever it is they choose to do on the astral realm is reflective of the same personality they had while on Earth; they may be stubborn, they may be lazy, or they may make quick decisions and transcend to the next realm yet again.

However you pray is your journey and your faith, but prayer alone to the one you love who has left you recently, or even some time ago, is very helpful to both you and your loved one. It creates healing that will support both of your journeys!

“I am still–and will always be—myself alone. but, as myself, I know, now, I am not alone.
~Timothy Findley, Inside Memory

Blessings to you, and to All!

Jen

Dedicated to my grandmother, who only passed a few days ago, June 1st, 2012, 7:45am.
I will always love you.

Intention of a Temple Home

The Temple Home will be offering a whole body Retreat Center for Healing, Yoga, relaxation, therapy and Transformation in Philadelphia.

Yin Yoga Classes
Reiki Classes & Certifications
Massage Therapy Sessions
Acupressure Sessions
Healing Classes
Meditation Classes

If you are not on my newsletter, send me an email to asttarte@awakentoliving.com to stay connected with Asttarte and to hear of the new opportunities as they arrive!

Also, check out the new website for the Healing & Retreat Center with a complete integration of all possible sessions and spiritual awakenings available!

Location of home is yet to be determined. Open to discussion on possible locations in the Philadelphia area.