What does love mean to you? It means many things to different people, depending on the circumstances. But for the most part, its a feeling deep in the heart, and its usually something created over time by feelings of admiration, respect, appreciation, kindness, support, friendship, and more. Some people are easy to love, and others, not so much. Some people let your love in easily, always finding new ways of connection, and others try to block you, guard you, find excuses to be distant, find fault, blame, and take their fears and own inner turmoil as a reason to justify the connection you once had.
Love is clearly very different from sex. Sex is an action. It is pleasure. It is an activity two people do together. Love, is a feeling, the emotion of connection. And, there are either those who are ready for love, or there are those who are not. Sadly, most people in our society are not.
Some people have hearts that are open, receptive, and ready to get close. And some, have walls up, and guard their heart from letting others love them, or are incapable of giving that love in return. There are many reasons this can happen; their past is the main reason, but also the choices they made from that past that are affecting not only their present, but also their future. If someone had a relationship with someone who treated them poorly, they may have some unconscious belief of expecting any new lover to treat them poorly. If someone had an experience with a past partner who was depressed and they spent most of their time trying to make their partner feel better, most likely, they’ll manifest the same type of partner. If someone had a partner who was overly needy, anxious and preoccupied with having all their time and attention to love them, they will either expect this type to show up again, or be repulsed by them.
Love that is easy, simple, without justifications, or reasons, judgment or blame is the best love. It feels simple. Trust develops, joy and ease is there and ultimately happiness.
Many people confuse energy and addiction to the high and sensation of connection. This goes further into attachment styles, and the different types. However, the point is people are either in the going towards love bracket, or the running away from. And, most often it may appear as though they do neither, until a relationship develops and deeper feelings get triggered to the surface, that in fact happen in order to heal. However, most people run away from this lesson, this opportunity to grow, and find fault in the one they love/or chose, and start the whole process all over again!
Love! The beauty, joy and challenge of life!
See Relationship Coaching for more details.