What are the facts? Number 1, if you’re an adult, usually you are going to want it. It’s a necessity for most. And when an adult goes without it for too long it causes all kinds of things in the body and mind. One thing it does is cause frustration. Most likely this feeling of frustration is the same for men as it is for women. After too long of a period goes by, it becomes extremely uncomfortable to sit down, or wear tight clothes. Often the adult needs to release the feeling of discomfort, or frustration as they call it. It becomes agonizing and awkward. If you’re in a public place and this feeling arises, often you will want to relocate as quickly as possible, to somewhere private, and preferably with a partner. But sometimes people are not that lucky!
Another fact is often people want a quick solution to this frustration. They want to get rid of the awkward feeling in their body, and yet enjoy it at the same time. When they are in a relationship, and the person who wants the sex doesn’t get it, they often blame their partner. They try to get it from their partner if they are loyal to that person, but if their partner doesn’t feel the same way, often they feel rejected, unwanted, unloved and unimportant. Sometimes they attempt to take care of the feelings of discomfort on their own, and temporarily feel better. Their preference is to be with their partner, or a real person. Sometimes they call on a secret lover, or in other cases a prostitute, escort, Dominatrix, a Gentleman’s club, a strip club, a Swingers or sex club, an asian massage, a tantra massage or a tantra healer. (Asian Massage and Tantra Massage are very different, however, many people get them confused), and more. However, in truth, people want to be loved, and often they want to be loved by someone significant in their life on a regular basis. This would be the ideal situation.
However, some people are sexually shut down, and they are unable to maintain the sexual intimacy they originally had with their husband/wife/girlfriend/ or boyfriend. Often, this leads to separation, divorce and break ups. And, some people don’t want to give up on their significant partner, bc the love is just as important to them as the sex. They are willing to compromise, cheat, change the dynamics so they can have BOTH love and sex in their life. Often, if they cheat, and were in a committed monogamous relationship, where they promised their partner they would not sleep with anyone else, and it comes to the point where they feel they have to, they then are left with a guilty conscience. However, they still continue to cheat, or do one of the choices above, to alleviate the aggravating feeling in their body. And, still not wanting to jeopardize or eliminate the love in their life. In many ways, they feel they live a split life, or a secret life, but do so willingly.
If someone has a strong healthy sexual energy, they are capable of erection, orgasm, and ejaculation. And their body is wide open and not shut down from connecting deeply with another person, it is perfectly normal for them to want to connect with a human being in this way. It is their birthright. They should not be shamed for being normal and human! However, if their partner shuts them down, pulls away, rejects them, and makes them wait a really long time, the blame often is on that partner. And, it would take someone who is personally capable of taking responsibility for their own choices, behaviors, attitudes, beliefs and feelings to be humble enough to ask for help! This would in fact fall in line with Emotional and Spiritual Coaching. The person who desires the sex, may say “oh but my partner needs sexual healing or sex coaching, or tantra.” Maybe, and that would come later, but the person who is shut down, guarded, in resistance, in fear or anxiety or possibly even depression, in fact would need Emotional Coaching and Spiritual Coaching Healing first!!!! Perhaps they start with Sex Coaching or Relationship Coaching, and that would be totally fine! However, they would learn, that the real healing and the real work would in fact make progress under Emotional Coaching or Spiritual Coaching. This is what would help them to unravel their guard, sexual blocks, fears, and other feelings, so they could then be more comfortable talking about their sexual issues, and move into a more intimate place of healing.
Other facts around sex, deal with older men who are not able to get the erection they once did. They have a deep urge and desire to be sexual, but their body is not cooperating with them. Perhaps they try to use other methods of pleasure, giving and receiving, and that is good, but they want more. This would fall in line with sexual health. Some men go to the doctors for help, and are often prescribed medication. I strongly advise against this, unless you truly trust your doctor, and are given something subtle enough that it won’t give you adverse side affects like a fast heart rate, or worse, a warning of a heart attack. A much gentler solution would be to learn tantra, learn meditation, receive energy healing, take natural herbs, and learn how to put together your own smoothie that will increase blood flow from the heart to your sex center. Reality is, people are going to do what they’re going to do! It’s always a personal choice and personal preference. My advice, educate yourself!!! Do what you can to do the right thing, for your body, your self, and the people that love you!