Couples Marriage Coaching

Couples Marriage CoachingCouples Marriage Coaching

I’m thrilled to announce I’ve been doing more Couples and Marriage Coaching Sessions! Some couples choose to come see me separately and one on one, and some choose to see me together. While, I am great at one on one coaching, I am even better with couples! When someone comes to me privately, my focus is on helping the individual, and all the issues they are dealing with. However, not all the issues may be obvious when they come alone. I only see one persons perspective this way, and will always take to their side. When they come together, my goal is to support both individuals, and I have a bigger picture to work with, and an awareness of whats going on from both perspectives, and hence, a much bigger understanding of the healing that is needed.

I then pick up on the joint energy between the couple, the joint patterns, the joint triggers, and all the work that is needed to heal a relationship can be done right there on the spot. I still start with a gentle breathing or meditation practice, then move into coaching for each individual, and conversation of course will happen for both sides; taking turns.  We may move into forgiveness practices, acknowledging the other partner, eye gazing, breathing together, and emotional processing that is needed for each person that is at the core of the feelings inside of each of them. If we can move beyond all of these practices and the issues have been resolved, then we can move to the next stage of healing for your beloved and your relationship.

I still teach Tantra and Spiritual practices, however, they come after we have sorted out the major obstacles that are keeping your relationship separate or distant. Just like private sessions, working with the couple, both parties need to feel like they have gotten the support they needed, and each persons feelings are taken into account, as well as each persons individual issues and triggers. If the issues go beyond my abilities as a Coach, and the person needs more clinical help, we will discuss how I can be helpful alongside this, to continue the growth and healing of the relationship.

Both people in the couple must want to heal their relationship in order for the relationship to improve. If only one person wants to heal, and the other does not, we will address that in session. Or, if only one person thinks the other needs to work on them-self, and the other does not, we will find out if this is true, and how one in the couple can help the other to heal or grow. Sometimes, the support of just knowing your Beloved cares about you and wants you to be happier and feel better, and being a witness to your growth is all it takes. And sometimes, this inspires the other person in the relationship to realize they need to look at them-self too!

The cycle of making the other partner wrong is at the core of all relationships! When you can take personal responsibility for your half and how you are being with your partner, most obstacles melt away!

Love, Asttarte

How Do You Nurture Yourself?

How Do You Nurture Yourself?

how do you future yourselfHow Do You Nurture Yourself?

How you nurture yourself all depends on what it is you are dealing with in your personal life.

Are you dealing with health matters?

Are you having relationship challenges and feeling your partner at arms length?

Is your family avoiding you and ignoring you or your feelings?

Are you having a higher level of stress and anxiety than normal?

Are you feeling more angry than normal, more tired than normal?

Are you feeling isolated, alone, sad?

How do you nurture yourself in these different situations? They each have different paths one would take to feel better, heal, come to solutions or happiness depending on the circumstance.

The first thing that is helpful is to do a daily meditation practice. You can start with 10 minutes, 15 minutes, 20 minutes, or 30 minutes. Just that short window of time will make you feel so much better. some people like to jump in and start with an hour. If you have the time, go for the hour. If not, try a smaller time frame.

Then do something that’s going to nurture your soul, perhaps a new spiritual practice, such as yoga, chakra healing, reading a spiritual book, learning about angels, crystals, breath work, or even getting acupuncture, massage or a reiki treatment.

Another excellent practice is drinking a specific tea that is helpful for your situation. There are many teas on the market, and many you can make at home. Most teas are made with natural herbs and are a cheaper solution than buying multiple bottles of different herbs, or oils. Herbs and essential oils can be costly when buying in bulk, but teas are very affordable. Try to match your situation with the type of tea that would be helpful for that. If you don’t know, try seeking a tea expert, an herbalist, or feel free to reach out to me for suggestions.

Next, write down everything that is going on. It is very helpful to write down your feelings, and using your writing as a sort of therapy. Writing is very cathartic and sometimes when you write down what you feel, what happened, and the situation, it can help you let it go and feel so much better about things. Then you are able to move on from it, and almost feel empowered that you expressed yourself. Some people don’t like to write, but try pushing yourself a little, via a wordpress document, in notes on your computer, or even writing in a spiral notebook or nice journal book. It sometimes feels very good to write things down with a real pen or pencil. It touches a different part of the brain and releases energy pent up in your throat and lower chakras, believe it or not. It’s not going to have the same benefit as a meditation, or chakra healing, but it is still quite powerful.

Are you an artist, musician or do you like doing things with your hands? This could be a great way to nurture your inner self, and help get through a challenging event, experience, or point in your life. You don’t have to be an expert. As long as you do it, put your heart into it and are intentional, anything you do can be helpful, and in the end, amazing!

What is it you are dealing with? Talk to me here! I’m happy to respond!

Sexual Frustration and open marriage

Sexual Frustration and open marriage

sexual frustration and open marriageSexual Frustration and Open Marriage

There’s an extroadinary amount of marriages and couples that stay together for the security, rather than the desire and love of it. ¬†Couples have children, they build a foundation of what’s comfortable. They love each other, but the passion, spontaneity, openness to each other, and playful sex almost disappears. Where does this passion and desire for intimacy go? And what do they do about it? Sexual frustration often gets transferred into taking care of the child/children, work, career, and time to just simply rest.

When marriages have lost their zest and they have a love for one another, this can often lead to dependency on the other. A fear of looking outside the marriage shows up out of fear of breaking the security they have developed, the security for the children and the harmony and emotional balance of all involved. However, when YOU have NOT had your sexual needs met, in weeks, months or years waiting around for the security of your husband or wife is truly wasted energy. I can understand you might not want to risk the family bonds, the close knit family gatherings, and the fun you all have together for the sake of the children, but there comes a point when sexual frustration has taken over, and your sexual self expression is completely missing and void that your entire life force has dwindled away.

What do you do to take care of your personal needs when they show up? Do you have an affair? Do you secretly date someone new, keeping lies between both the new person and your husband/wife? Or, do you have the straight conversation with your family and husband/wife and talk to them about what is missing for you, what you want to create, and the fears, concerns, and pain it may cause for each other?

The only way to solve issues between a partnership is to straight up talk about it. However, not everyone is comfortable talking that boldly, and not everyone is willing to take the risk. Are you willing to risk your sexual pleasure, vitality, life force for the sake of keeping something solid when you are not happy? Or, is having honest communication something that you might be willing and open to having? Despite all the criticism, complaints, concerns and fears the other person may have, can you be able to listen to them, hold the space for them, and be loving despite everything they might feel out of your honesty?

You might be surprised. You might get your needs met, and you just might be able to have it all. Isn’t it worth the risk?

For those I love, friends, clients and myself, I say YES!sexual frustration and open marriage

Reunions and Family Holiday

Thanksgiving, Reunions and Family

Reunions and Family Holiday

Blessings old loves,

How is everyone doing? After the Thanksgiving Holiday is over, and preparing our feasts, spending hours long with our family members, we then dive into our Reunions, 5 yr, 10 yr, 15 yr, 20th yr, 25th yr, 30th and so on. I hope everyone enjoyed their time with their familiar faces and created new beautiful memories.

I am grateful for the ease and peace my family and I now share together, the comfort and desire in staying together; without the drama or arguments that showed up in the past, and the love (and laughter) we all share. And,it was even more exciting to spend time with old high school graduates, to share who I am today, my passion, my love, my openness and acceptance, vibrant and new assertive way of being. Perhaps many never saw me that way before, and many recognized my beauty as something greater than when I was a child. I am feeling truly honored and grateful for this experience, and hope to keep growing more amazing, more vibrant and more powerful as the years go by!

I am writing to share my gratitude, my love and my continued desire to be of service in a healing way, in whatever way that looks like for you! Everyone needs something different, and I am happy to be a vessel to receive what is most important for you!

Many Blessings, Happy Holidays and Lots of Love,

Asttarte

Thanksgiving, Reunions and Going Deeper – Email Update

Thanksgiving, Reunions and Going Deeper – Email Update

Hindu_Deities_Siva_Parvati_Ganesh

 

Blessings old loves,

How is everyone doing? After the Thanksgiving Holiday is over, and preparing our feasts, spending hours long with our family members, we then dive into our Reunions, 5 yr, 10 yr, 15 yr, 20th yr, 25th yr, 30th and so on. I hope everyone enjoyed their time with their familiar faces and created new beautiful memories.

I am grateful for the ease and peace my family and I now share together, the comfort and desire in staying together; without the drama or arguments that showed up in the past, and the love (and laughter) we all share. And,it was even more exciting to spend time with old high school graduates, to share who I am today, my passion, my love, my openness and acceptance, vibrant and new assertive way of being. Perhaps many never saw me that way before, and many recognized my beauty as something greater than when I was a child. I am feeling truly honored and grateful for this experience, and hope to keep growing more amazing, more vibrant and more powerful as the years go by!

I am writing to share my gratitude, my love and my continued desire to be of service in a healing way, in whatever way that looks like for you! Everyone needs something different, and I am happy to be a vessel to receive what is most important for you!

Many Blessings, Happy Holidays and Lots of Love,

Asttarte