Integrity and Sexual Energy

Integrity and Sexual Energy

Integrity and sexual energyIntegrity and Sexual Energy

Scenario: I am greeted by my ex-lover with a friendly hello. He shows up spontaneously where I tell him I’ll be. We speak in tongue with joy, ease and lightness. He asks to find out what I’m doing over the next few days, with enthusiasm, excitement, and curiosity. The next day I send information on events that look fun, and things we have in common. I hear nothing back. The day after, I send more information on very cool events, and hear nothing back. The next day, he finally responds, and says, “I never said we were definitely doing anything. I told you I may have had to work.” Now, I already had plans, but I was willing to be flexible to meet him. However, the lack of communication, being left in the dark, confused of if this person would want to meet or not, was emotionally and physically debilitating. Not in a real debilitating sense, however, a psychic one.

If someone you care for exclaims they want to get together, and leaves on that note, and then later completely disappears and doesn’t respond, its confusing for the psyche. It leaves someone in the unknown, and in a way, its how they keep their control on you. This then impacts the heart chakra. For women, and men, who care for their loved one, and were left feeling joyous they would meet very soon, but then never heard a word from them, its like giving mixed messages. The heart then is confused. The heart doesn’t know whether to be open, or shut down, out of this loved one saying one thing, feeling enthusiastic, and doing another, and being distant.  Here, I will discuss how this affects the heart chakra and ones sexual energy.

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When you leave your loved one thinking you’ll meet or at least talk in a day or two, are excited about the possibility, and then never hear from them, your spiritual body goes through a complex process of releasing someone’s lack of honesty. If you believe someone whole heartedly, at least to the point that their enthusiasm and encouragement on meeting was real, then you expect them to follow through with getting in contact.

However, when you hear nothing, you may begin to question:

  • why you trusted them in the first place,
  • why you were so excited and doubt yourself thinking maybe they never did want to meet
  • question if you were confused about their intentions
  • or perhaps be angry that they said one thing and did another
  • or perhaps try to give them the benefit of the doubt that they never confirmed anything

However, if someone said they wanted to do something and would be in touch, and then they don’t, they are clearly lying. They are giving you mixed messages and making you believe them, to either side, whether they wanted to meet, or didn’t want to. This is insanity and crazy. There’s no reason to believe someone like this. They are in. They are out. Who knows! It depends on what they feel like, and not on how you feel or what they said.

This affects the heart chakra, and the heart then shuts down. It may shut down to this person, but also to other people when you were wide open, loving, enthusiastic and trusting, to then being confused, perhaps sad, and closing off your trust. When the heart chakra gets toyed with, has sadness, disappointment, or feels betrayed, it then impacts the sexual arousal, the root and second chakras (the arousal of a female and male’s sexual organs), and erection for men would be difficult, and arousal and juiciness for women would disappear. This type of person is possibly harmful to someone’s psyche and best to walk away, unless you are unattached, and don’t care about an outcome either way, and have a laissez faire attitude about it. If you do care, and your feelings matter, find your enthusiasm with someone who can be trusted! You never know what you’re going to get with someone who can’t follow through with what they say. And, its certainly not fun! And we do want all the fun we can have, especially for the summer! So, as they say in one of my favorite movies: “Pish, tosh!” (Throw it away!)

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Sexual Frustration and open marriage

Sexual Frustration and open marriage

sexual frustration and open marriageSexual Frustration and Open Marriage

There’s an extroadinary amount of marriages and couples that stay together for the security, rather than the desire and love of it.  Couples have children, they build a foundation of what’s comfortable. They love each other, but the passion, spontaneity, openness to each other, and playful sex almost disappears. Where does this passion and desire for intimacy go? And what do they do about it? Sexual frustration often gets transferred into taking care of the child/children, work, career, and time to just simply rest.

When marriages have lost their zest and they have a love for one another, this can often lead to dependency on the other. A fear of looking outside the marriage shows up out of fear of breaking the security they have developed, the security for the children and the harmony and emotional balance of all involved. However, when YOU have NOT had your sexual needs met, in weeks, months or years waiting around for the security of your husband or wife is truly wasted energy. I can understand you might not want to risk the family bonds, the close knit family gatherings, and the fun you all have together for the sake of the children, but there comes a point when sexual frustration has taken over, and your sexual self expression is completely missing and void that your entire life force has dwindled away.

What do you do to take care of your personal needs when they show up? Do you have an affair? Do you secretly date someone new, keeping lies between both the new person and your husband/wife? Or, do you have the straight conversation with your family and husband/wife and talk to them about what is missing for you, what you want to create, and the fears, concerns, and pain it may cause for each other?

The only way to solve issues between a partnership is to straight up talk about it. However, not everyone is comfortable talking that boldly, and not everyone is willing to take the risk. Are you willing to risk your sexual pleasure, vitality, life force for the sake of keeping something solid when you are not happy? Or, is having honest communication something that you might be willing and open to having? Despite all the criticism, complaints, concerns and fears the other person may have, can you be able to listen to them, hold the space for them, and be loving despite everything they might feel out of your honesty?

You might be surprised. You might get your needs met, and you just might be able to have it all. Isn’t it worth the risk?

For those I love, friends, clients and myself, I say YES!sexual frustration and open marriage

Honoring Your Own Integrity

Sometimes when a situation arises, and you feel you need to take a stand for yourself, it may oppose other people’s viewpoints, opinions, or desires. However, if you stay firm to your own feelings and convictions, everything will fall into place out and you will have honored your own integrity and have stayed true to your view. This ultimately will lead you to self-satisfaction, honor with your heart and inner peace.
What happens when you don’t honor how you feel; when you let other people have their way, you keep your feelings to yourself, and when you suppress your needs and desires? This often leads to a loss of power; a lack of self-expression, a creative expression that gets lost, a sexual passion that gets forgotten, an opportunity that got missed, a need that didn’t get fulfilled and in some cases a routine for your child that got off schedule or the lack of self-care for yourself or others.
Tonight, I had an experience where I shared a need I felt was important to honor for my son; where it would have put his sleep schedule and evening routine off for an hour, he would not have gotten to bed until almost 11:30 at night and then would have put him into staying asleep in the morning until mid morning, totally altering the next days routines and schedule. I did not want to make my son have to sacrifice his own well-being, putting his schedule off and not getting his needs met, which ultimately would have made his father’s and my own needs and routine thrown off as well. I stood for what I felt, and requested his father find another ride or consider what his son would have to go through for him requesting to give him a ride, making his son sit in the car for an hour. So instead, he surrendered and took the train home.
Sometimes when we don’t honor how we feel, it actually can cause more upset than it would have if you just said what you felt. Giving away your power and forgetting yourself actually can create distance between people and does the opposite of what we all desire; experiencing love, being a family, & having commitment and ease between each other.
Speaking your truth, in the end is what actually gives you power, and when you hide behind someone else, there’s no you to be vivid, be real and be alive in this world!