Emotional Avoider and Co-Parenting

Emotional Avoider and Co-ParentingEmotional Avoider and Co-Parenting

What happens when a relationship is over, has been for a while, physically and emotionally, and then your child requests both parents to join him together as a family for a fun function on your weekend? How do you as the ex-partner handle the rejection of your loved one who wants nothing to do with you, except give your child all the attention? How do you handle the avoidance, of your kindness, your simple gestures of touch on the arm, saying good bye, and not a look in your direction; just simple disappearance and walking away?

What does this stir up in you? Do you feel unwanted? Unloved? Not good enough? Or does it bring up childhood feelings with a parent of unresolved feelings? Are you an adult with of a parent who also avoided you? didn’t know how to express love? Rejected you, and withheld their love from you at all costs? Perhaps its time for a make-over and time to go deeper into your childhood experiences, even if you have done an enormous amount of spiritual, psychological and emotional work? The layers to healing are never done, and perhaps, here is a gift of shedding more.

 

When To Go Past Dating

When To Go Past Dating

When to Go Past Dating

When To Go Past Dating 

How do you know when to take your relationship past the dating point? How do you know when to start kissing, being intimate, or becoming sexual? If you want the relationship to last, and not be just a sexual fling, it is often best to avoid deeper acts of sex and intimacy until you know for sure the relationship feels solid. There is that rocky stage in a new relationship where you want to be intimate, but you also want it to be the real thing. How do you know how long to wait and when to go past dating? Do you wait one month, three months, or four? Timing can be everything for each couple, and each individual.

It is crucial to discover how serious the person you are dating is, especially if you want something serious.  And if you find out two months in, they don’t want anything serious, its much easier to walk away if you haven’t had sex. But what if you have? Then what do you do? Do you walk away as soon as you know your goals are different? Or do you wait it out to see if perhaps the other person is not sure yet?

Most of the time, if someone tells you in the beginning of a relationship, that they don’t want anything serious, you should really listen to them. If they tell you they just want to have fun, or want to remain celibate, or are not looking for long term commitment, you should take whatever words they say literally. Their actions may be different than their words, but its the words in the very beginning that define how they will truly be later. If someone hints to you that they “think” maybe they are Bipolar, or that they have had a history of being afraid after things start to get serious, and hide or pull away, LISTEN to them! All of these initial honest clues will impact the rest of your relationship, and if they told you these things from the beginning, you WERE forewarned!!!

If your date, warned you about some major things that would impact your dreams of a healthy and serious relationship, and you didn’t listen, that’s your fault! You need to be the one to walk away, and you need to be the stronger one; not them. They are wounded, scared, conflicted, confused, or perhaps just a jerk. You need to be the wise one! And choose whether to go past dating and of deeper into the relationship, or end it!

It is best NOT to have any sexual intimacy with someone until you know for sure who they are, their habits, beliefs, goals, if you could be good friends, if they are healthy, if you are compatible, and if you can really see yourself with them for the long term. When you jump in right away, not truly discovering their true colors, things get sticky and challenging, and it only causes more pain later. Be smart, and wait. Trust your gut, and listen to your heart!

Asttarte

LoveSexandTea.com