Sex and Sadness
How can you feel passionate and sexy when you’re sad? How can you open up to your sexuality when you are grieving a loved one who died, or a family member of yours is very ill or hurt? How can you feel sexual when you and a partner recently broke up?
Opening up to your sexual essence is nearly impossible when major life events show up. Even one of these events can take someone down a downward spiral for months, but all of them at once seems like a Tsunami of change and where something major is happening to teach one a lesson, or to help grow towards greater enlightenment. I am talking about my personal life, and using it to help others. One of my dearest and best friends passed away recently, and her viewing was in fact on my birthday this year. It blew me away to realize how someone so young could move on. Her health was suffering, and even though she was much younger than me, she struggled to get to the source of her pain. She had a history of trauma and I spent many years trying to help her. My lesson in my relationship with her, is the same lesson in the bigger picture of all of these events (marriage ending, her death and a loved one getting severely hurt). The lesson is, I can’t heal everyone! As much as I want to help people, and perhaps be their hero, I can’t help all. And, I deeply tried to help her, but she rejected me year after year. The more I tried, it seemed the more she pushed me away. It’s amazing that right before her heart stopped, weeks prior she finally reached out to me, and asked for guidance on her spiritual development. I waited for over 15 years for her to be interested. But then it was too late. At 33, she moved on, with a beating heart that stopped and her breath became silent. Perhaps it was too much for her to try to heal in her body, and her personality would not allow it. Now, she can heal on the spirit realm, and perhaps in a new body and a new life, she can heal this life.
The end of a relationship also takes a toll. It’s like a death unto itself. You have to interact with that person in a whole new way. Grieving someone that is still living is a challenge alone. You wonder why things couldn’t work out. You wonder why they refused to heal, or were unwilling to admit their own responsibility in their own choices. You wonder why they project all their anger and blame of things they did, onto you. You can question it over and over again, but mental illness sometimes cannot be figured out. And, when the other person chooses not to heal or get help, the only thing left is to grieve. Being their friend is a challenge, because you don’t know when and if they’ll try to blame you for their own feelings again. It was such a challenge in walking away this time, that I decided to write about it. And perhaps, write about the struggle. And, maybe it could help others who loved someone with a mental illness. It’s NOT your fault! It’s not my fault. My heart is as big as The Divine Mother! But knowledge and wisdom in how to deal with someone like this, helps to end the pattern of being pulled back in, when they put on a beautiful act of being nice again. I’ll consider writing more of the story of this. Perhaps it could be a short story. However, the lesson again, is “I cannot help so much that I sacrifice my life away!”
And to top it off, my father fell and hit his head! He had a concussion with delirium. He had memory loss, but only half the time. The status is, is that he’s getting better! I am deeply grateful he is getting better and I’ll find out more tomorrow how much better he is. But at the height of his fall, I was there. I visited him for multiple days, and spent 5 or 6 hours a day just sitting with him, waiting until he woke up, helping him eat, and talking and laughing. It was very healing to be with him in this way, and he would say often, “why are you crying? I’m ok!” But I didn’t feel like he was ok. I said, “But you’re different!” And he said, “But my heart is the same!” And I smiled and said, “you are right!” It’s amazing how alike we are, and how much we get along; 2 Aries and my whole life I had no idea how similar we are until now. I am grateful to still have more years and time to spend with him, and I will continue to grow in the acceptance and understanding, that I am NOT superwoman, and I cannot save and fix everyone, but a part of me, will still always try!
So, the point of this writing, Sex and Sadness….how can one be in touch with their sexuality when they are feeling sadness? Well, simply, they cannot! One has to go through the sadness, to get to the sexiness. Many people try to ignore their feelings, their sadness, their anger, or disappointment, etc and go straight to the sexual feelings. And, then they wonder why nothing sexual is happening! Well, the answer is right in front of you! You have to feel all of your feelings, the happy ones AND the sad ones in order to feel to juicy ones! Bad feelings don’t go away by ignoring them, then they only get suppressed deeper. The more you can feel your painful feelings, the more bliss and joy you can feel when they move through you and release out of your body! And, the body WILL tell you when painful feelings are there! It ALWAYS will, so you might as well go through them, and not try jumping over them! There is a much greater reward in the end when you do!
“Instead of getting on medication, for stresses, just FEEL your feelings! Then all that stress and heavy feelings just simply go away! But you have to feel deeply, and at your core, or it will only come back until you finally face yourself again!”
“In order to access your full potential of bliss,
you have to clear the muck that’s in the way!
We are all Spiritual beings living in a physical body. Our spiritual body is mostly unknown to people on the planet; except those who are conscious and on the path. It is my pleasure and joy to work with those who are on the path, and to those who are not, to learn the power and value in getting started.
I offer you many techniques and practices on this website that took me many years to learn and practice, and many more to master. It is the utmost importance to allow the spirit to be of a significant factor in your journey of reflection, your recovery to healing, your awakening to the divine, and your passionate desire to connect to others.
Bliss is not something that can be achieved through simple pleasures of the ego, the mind or the body. Bliss is achieved through connecting to something much bigger than we all are – the metaphysical, transcendental, ethereal and energetic part of ourselves that lies not only inside of us, but all around us. Achieving bliss is a state of mind through conscious efforts in connecting to our spiritual selves.
Bliss can be achieved through the body, but there are always energetic blocks that keep us from fully expanding and opening into a higher vibration that our divine being is craving for us to embrace. When we can merge the physical body with the spiritual body, we can then achieve a full body state of ecstatic bliss.
It is important for women to be treated and adored for who we are, but is even more important that the man (the main man if you are polyamorous or have an open relationship) we are with eventually choose us fully, make a decision and commit. Loving a man who won’t commit eventually wears on us and tears us down. We start to resent them, regret our choices and spend our time and lives dreading the choice we made in being with him but also torn because our core wants him to just commit fully already.
Some women don’t care about marriage, and are happy being free-spirits for the rest of their lives, but many women prefer the latter. I myself, spent the last 8 years waiting for the man I love to finally choose me, settle down, pick up the plate in his career and get us a place to move in together. As a tantrica who has been trained in the sexual healing arts, and has been giving for a long time deep healing for others, it has been devastating to be the one who didn’t get what she wanted.
Do you know what happens to a woman’s yoni when she is not being fully embraced in her love and her sexuality and supported to go really deep with her true beloved? Her yoni (womb/sexual organ) clamps down. It disappears into itself, and instead of expanding outside and being fully open, orgasmic and ready for love, her flower gets tight and hides. Many times a woman’s flower hides out of fear, or anger or sadness, but sometimes it hides simply because it is not being seen. Just as she is not being seen, so too is her yoni! They go hand and hand and together when they are supported and loved, they both also rock the world and ignite anyone who is near her!
Loving a Man who Won’t Commit and women’s sexuality are like partner’s in crime. In order to fully ignite your sexuality, choose everything that works for ‘you’, and life will bring you flowers!
Boundaries guide to intimacy, and they truly do guide one to that most vulnerable place inside us. Boundaries show up often as a guide to let us know what feels safe, how comfortable we are, to show us where our limits are, and what will be supportive to allow us to go deeper. When there has been any trauma in the past, it is particularly important to honor those boundaries, and as you do, you will then be supported to go deeper in the moment and surrender into intimacy, connection and love!
Usually when there is “any” trauma from the past, one will have very strong boundaries, or they won’t have ANY at all. It is crucial that we look at where our boundaries stand; whether being too much or too little to eventually come to the place of balance. When we don’t look at this part of ourselves and just live as though we are the way we are and don’t question our behaviors, feelings or actions, there is no opening for growth.
There are many practitioners of sexual healing who got into that field to heal their own sexual wounds, many who have had trauma, and many who have no boundaries in their work. It is important, before taking on a practitioner, that you know they have done their own personal work of healing before you can trust that they can support you and help you in yours. Many may believe they have done all their healing work, but in truth, the journey to growth never ends, and it is imperative one is open to continuing their personal work.
There are those who are not practitioners, and yet they are highly sexual, have many affairs, work in highly sexual professions. Sooner or later it is important to look at any wounding from the past, and for those who are very guarded, and really need to protect themselves to open up to love, to trust these feelings, and to allow them to help you grow.
If you’re in a relationship with a man, and he cannot honor your boundaries, allowing any intimacy in the relationship is going to be extremely difficult and he may end up blaming you for not being sexual. His lack of knowledge or understanding, or willingness to listen to your inner teacher may be the catalyst to your relationship, as you are the woman and know what feels right for you, and your guidance will allow the relationship to blossom as the two of you go deep together in your intimacy practices and feeling into each others bodies to allow the connection to blossom.
Arguments may show up as he wants to become sexual immediately, and you as a woman need to take your time and trust each moment and feeling. Your body, your heart, your sensuality is your guide, and is your tool to create great and lasting intimacy and love!
(See main Tantra and Healing site at TrueTantra.net)
Most people dream about being close to the person they love the most. They often wake up from dreams in the morning of their wife or husband that they are distant or separated from; just succumbing to the what’s so. Their heart aches to be close to them; even though their mind often tells them they don’t like this about them, or that, or that they’ll never agree or be able to compromise on anything. Couples often stay in the wishful thinking stage, or suppressing their truest hearts desires and just accepting that the relationship won’t get any better, when in fact, this is simply not true.
Perhaps you are blaming yourself for your relationship being distant, or you are blaming your partner, and put all your anger on him or her. Perhaps you’ve given up on the relationship all together because you don’t know what’s possible, and you end up believing what you truly desire is not possible at all.
Many women stay in an unhappy relationship, not knowing how to change things, or their partner and wishing he will change. Many men don’t make an effort at all; even though they tell themselves they want to heal the relationship or be close to their wife, and go to a mistress, a sex parlor, an erotic salon, a sex surrogate, or an escort just to try to fill the void and lack of intimacy they are getting with the partner they really love. They make no effort to heal the root cause; nor try to heal their own issues so that his wife might fall back in love with him all over again.
But what men and women both crave deeper than anything in the world, is to feel a deep intimate connection with the person they love, that they married or are in a committed relationship with. People don’t want to have to go to other lovers, or temporary affairs to avoid the pain of the distance with their partner. What their heart craves more than anything, is to be held and caressed in the arms of their lover, their wife or husband and to know that the person they deeply love, cares for them, accepts them, and deeply desires them and loves them in return. It is a dream come true when their beloved can return their love to the man or woman they are the closest to, and fall in love all over again with the same person.
It is totally possible that you can fall in love again, with the same person, and in fact, fall in love with this same person over and over again! I can help you fall in love again, and remove the emotional pain, blocks, upsets and disappointments that have gotten in the way of the innocent freshness and intimate love you deserve!
Boundaries in Intimacy are different with every person.
“Intimacy means being able to be fully present with yourself and another at the same time.” Staci Haines.
“Intimacy means being willing to experience conflict, and to use conflict to deepen your intimacy. It means risking trust with another at deeper and deeper levels over time.” Staci Haines.
Building Intimacy involves major components such as: Embodiment, consent, openness to emotions, healing through triggers, trust, self-forgiveness, authenticity, self-awareness, listening, presence with yourself and another, patience, time and acceptance with what is. Building Intimacy takes time and cannot happen immediately. It can take a few sessions before the level of trust grows strong enough to do an Intimacy Therapy Session. Building Intimacy Before Our First Session: emails & phone calls:
When emailing me, please tell me as specifically as possible what you are interested in, your intentions for our session, what your needs are, and your level of experience with Spirituality, Healing and Tantra. When you have questions about fees or sessions that are not clear to you on my website, it is always best to talk to me live.
Before meeting, I like to go over a few things that help us both to feel at ease with our initial connection. A questionnaire for new clients: This is not mandatory, however, it gives me an idea of your intention, experience, and openness to healing AND it gives you an idea of the value of our work together. If you are unclear about anything, it is always best to discuss it before we begin, and not during or after. However, if you need to wait for personal reasons, I will honor your feelings and need to do so.
Ways to Build Intimacy Are: Practice being with yourself and with another (your husband/wife/partner or alone) at the same time. Treat conflict and resistance as something that can build intimacy. Communicate openly and truthfully (to yourself and the other present) Practicing Self-Dignity: Communicate out of love and acceptance. If something comes up for you communicate by taking responsibility for your feelings and reactions. Communicate in a non-blaming attitude to give and receive more love. Understand if triggers and emotions come up for you, it is your process, and a temporary situation that will build to something beautiful. Build trust: I, as a Tantra Educator, like to take the first and second session to build trust in our relationship together as client and practitioner. Blessings to you on this beautiful journey of love, transformation and healing. Asttarte.
Boundaries with Your Significant Other and Choosing to Do A Tantra Session If you have boundaries with your partner, your wife, your husband or loved one and are unsure of the work we would do together in Session, please ask me all your questions before our Session or at the beginning of our time together! Nothing is ever done without your permission! Nothing is EVER done without an agreement between you as the client and I as the Practitioner! If you and your wife/husband or lover have an agreement to be exclusive, and don’t know what these Sessions entail, please ask to clarify any concerns you may have! If you are choosing the receive Tantra Healing without the Agreement with your husband/wife or partner, that is your choice! We will only explore avenues that will be of help to you! And, just to help you gain further comfort, any Session we do together will help you be a better lover with your partner, feel more at peace with your partner and be more of the lover they wish you to be. These Sessions are not meant for you to start a new Relationship with me. I have my own life, my own family, and I am only here as a Healer, Guide and Practitioner to you! I wish for you all the love you ever dreamed of! ~Namaste!~~~
Exciting Tantra; Healing Services of the Month
Upon walking in to my Healing space, you will undress and stand before me. You will be smudged with a Native American Smudge stick, or broken pieces of sage, and cleansed of your stress, and whatever energy you may have been experiencing prior to this moment. I will chant musical tones and Sanskrit mantras over your body. My breath and voice will nourish your soul and cleanse your spirit. After the front of your body is cleared I will ask you to turn facing your backside towards me. I will continue the ritual on the other side of your body, and upon completion have you sit on my purple pleasure couch. You will still be naked, and I will scan your body with my inner wisdom, and offer a few crystals for you to hold. I will prepare you to move into tantric bliss with a tantra meditation that starts very subtle, and moves to very intense. When you are ready, I will have you lay down, and continue the state you are in, with the crystals and your breath, and my touch.
My Cuddle Sessions are often the practice done prior to any Intimacy Therapy Healing or nurturing session. They can also be a catalyst for your deeper healing, healing your heart, cleansing your chakras, or arouse your sexual appetite, and begin sacred sexual energy healing.
You may choose a Cuddle Session, and only desire to work on healing your heart, and we can then do a reiki hands on or massage session when you are ready and have received enough energy from me.
You may also choose to do a Cuddle Session, and desire to move into other Tantric practices for sensuality, sexuality or healing whatever issues you are dealing with in your life (such as relationship issues, emotional issues, sex, self love, etc).
You may choose to receive a Hugging practice with me, do eye gazing, and do nothing else. This alone can heal the entire body; for the eyes remove the energy between two people, and open up an energy vacuum to cleanse the spirit. I’ve done this practice for over an hour in the past, and my entire body turned orgasmic. It can be quite powerful!
Cuddle Sessions can just be a Hugging Session that I do in my Hugging Power Classes, and move slowly, deeply into an embraced hug while in a sitting position. And I can then hold you in my arms, as you need to be nurtured, or you may feel the desire to hold a woman and we may stay connected this way for some time.
We can move into any other practice after the hugging or cuddle segment that will be supportive to you in this moment!
Reiki Training Sessions
Have you ever been reiki trained? Have you ever wondered what it was? Have you received a subtle reiki energy session from anyone in the past? This power, I believe, is the power of the energy source of the universe. All energy can be cleared, removed, and harnessed with the practice of reiki and energy healing, and life moves into a powerful spiritual awakening no matter what you choose to do in any moment. I have been a Usui Reiki Master since the year 2000, and have since added many other forms of reiki on top of this. I am happy to play in the art of energy with you, and help you heal, and teach you along the way! All energy healing can move one into full pleasure, as it removes everything else that is in the way!
More Sessions Available:
Meditation & Life Coaching
Gentle Taoist Shiatsu Massage
Tantra Yoga Training Sessions and Certification
Skype or Phone Coaching & Spiritual Training Sessions,
Conference Call Coaching Sessions – 10 week Program – for Goddess Healing (paid by paypal or check – other options available)
My sites have been changed, and more corrections will be made soon. All blogs other than those listed on the Asttarte site will be removed, or contents taken and put into my books. My goal has been to be an author since a young child, for poetry, fiction and non-fiction. Now it is moving into self help, coaching and tantra for adults, and spiritual healing for the younger audience. I’m excited to launch this new year into the start of my dreams coming true. The first book has about 90 pages so far, so I have a ways to go. Anyone who wishes to help inspire me I am very open to your questions! Many Blessings~
347-618-1276 or 631-913-8572
To be held in his arms; to feel his breath upon your chest, as he holds you in embrace, and caresses your heart into deep utter relaxation.
To be teased into bliss by the simplicity of his eyes melting into yours.
You never forget what it feels like to be held by a man; a man, not a boy, or a child, and not your father or your son. A man, who is so deeply in love with YOU!
His rich smell as his pheromones reach out to yours and tantalize your adrenaline into heaven.
A spark of simplicity, a whimper in your heart of relief, of satisfaction, of knowing you are woman, as you are received in his love, and accepted for being the Goddess you are!
What a gift you are receiving, in being loved by his depth, in knowing you ARE Goddess, and are powerful in your femininity; a divine being worthy of being loved.
What a gift he is receiving, in giving him the experience of loving you, in knowing he is capable of loving and valuable in being received.
To be loved by a man offers so many gifts; for the receiver and the giver. To be a woman, being loved by a man helps you to know you ARE alive, and you are worthy, are capable and acceptable in being a Woman; a wise woman, an innocent woman, a powerful woman, a vulnerable woman; that you are allowed to be YOU, and you are allowed to be Goddess. You have permission and you need not shut down your prowess, your sensuality or your love!
Some thoughts to consider:
1). What does it mean to be loved by a man to you?
2). As a man, what does it offer you to love a woman? And, what does it mean to you to love a woman, who truly receives your love?
3). As a woman, what gifts do you receive when you open your heart to receiving the love from your beloved man that is right there in front of you?
4). As a woman, how often do you allow yourself to be loved by your husband/boyfriend?
5). Are there times when you shut him out and choose not to be embraced by him?If Yes, what causes you to close down to the one you love the most? (What thoughts are going through your mind? Are you resigned, cynical, blaming, judgmental, or resentful? Do you feel unloved? Do you feel unaccepted? Do you feel threatened and not supported? Do you lack trust? Do you feel guilty or wrong? Do you feel betrayed? Are you angry? Do you want to forgive? Are you stressed and feel powerless? Are you afraid and want to feel safe?)
6). Are you a woman, married or partnered to a man, going through your own emotional crisis and don’t feel understood or accepted for who you are? Do you wish to be understood? If you felt safe and accepted, how would you go about explaining to your man what you are dealing with so he could be a team player to help you get through your current struggles?
7). Do you feel as though, you are accepted, but still can’t talk to him about your inner world? Are you afraid of being judged or that he will stop loving you? What’s the worst thing that could happen if you told him what you felt?
8). Are you a woman (or a man) who doesn’t like talking about feelings and wishes the problems or issues would just go away? Would you rather wish them away then deal with them? What are you afraid of that makes you want to run when it comes to feelings?
9). If you had it your way, how would you want your current relationship to look like, feel like and smell like? (What would your surroundings and environment be, how would your partner behave towards you, how would they treat you, how would you treat them, where would you live, and what would you have in your home, how would you get along with in-laws and friends in social outings?, etc.)
10). Are you the typical leader in your relationship and the first to bend to work out an argument, or are you the one who holds grudges and waits to see if, maybe, things will work out on their own? If you did become the leader, what would you do or say to your partner to help them open their heart to you again?
11). If you are not receiving the type of love that you really want, ask yourself, what is it that you want, and what in your relationship is missing, if you had it your way, you would want to be there?
If you’re a man reading this post, you are welcome to copy and paste this and print it out to give to your beloved woman. (You are also welcome to turn the questions around to address yourself as a man). If you are a woman, consider reading this and answering the questions for yourself. you may discover some things about yourself, your relationship, hidden desires, and you may get to experience what it is that is really important to YOU!
Here is my first video I made on the Dynamics and Approaching a Woman in your life. There will definitely be a Volume 2, and so on to this, and I may at some point re-do the 1st one and create an Introduction instead. However, this is the 2nd video I made. Like I said, these are the baby steps to creating videos. I may be getting some professionals to help out of this, or I may just get better at doing this myself. I’ll be playing with different lighting, backgrounds, and spacial arrangements to see what is best, but the delivery is good. I hope you enjoy this, and find it, at the least, a bit helpful.
I was not looking at notes in this one. I was just looking down while I was thinking and choosing my next words. I sometimes pause to think of what I am going to say next. I like the distance of my face the best in this, but I will be creative with this process with you, and am happy to make changes as people recommend things to try.
I am in the process of creating a Video for the Book: Mystery of Women, and will be working on getting this succinct. I am enjoying this journey of sharing what I love to you, and hope you are enjoying my journey of giving it just as much!
Withholding Your Love
When you withhold love from the people you love, what is it you are gaining? Are you withholding in order to protect yourself? Are you holding onto resentment or regret? How long will you continue to hold onto these feelings? Are you doing it because you feel you are right? How does it feel to be right? Does it make you feel strong, proud, confident or some other emotion?
Choosing to be right is the old paradigm of communication and only creates distance, separation, upset, and keeps your-self under control; rather than dealing with how you really feel; a loss for the connection to the person you love.
How many people do you choose to withhold your love from? If you think about it, there are probably at least half a dozen people you are withholding love from. If you are not feeling utter peace and joy in the presence of those you care about, you are withholding love; even in the subtlest capacity.
Withholding your love keeps your body in an armored state; your chest becomes tighter, your breathing is more shallow, your body feels rigid and anxious.
When you’re upset at the person you love the most, and holding on to anger in your body while taking your time to get over the anger, having a hard time releasing the anger, or hoping eventually it will go away, no matter what you will be withholding your love from this person, AND withholding love from yourself as well. When you are not present to your anger or upset, it may feel like it is the other persons fault. But in fact, you are the only person who can forgive and let this go.
What do you do when you are upset at the person you love?
Do you take hours, weeks, months, or years to forgive?
When you have upset or anger, do you decide to date someone else, hang out with your friends instead, ….
Blessings Beloveds, or those few who find me here,
Today is a new day, and I am here to celebrate! Perhaps this post will cross the boarder to all my blogs, but who knows! It is time now to say good bye to struggle, and survival mode, and move into thriving and celebrating! I am onto bigger and greater things and as I speak, I give forth the ideal of perfection within my soul’s consciousness and midst of dramatic confusion! I have begun a couple new blogs the past month or so, and am raveling in the glory of speaking the truth of who I am; not that I didn’t speak the truth before, but every new layer adds to the dimension of pleasure and joy in this body! As we all open our hearts and our souls, so too does our body follow!
My grandmother had passed in June, and in this she gave me the greatest gift, and I still feel VERY close to her even in her angelic state. I feel as though she is now watching over me, protecting, guarding me and perhaps too guiding me! I surrendered to prayer when she left, and opened my heart back to the written word; the bible, and also to my craft, in wicca, and also to my prayer with Hindu mantras, and too with Buddhist mantras, as well as sensing the presence of angels, and laying down to rest each night feeling the presence of her and my angel guides beside me. My dear son and I now hold new crystals we have fallen in love with during our rest, for continued healing, prayer and meditation. We have discovered amazing mala’s made out of crystals that heal specific conditions and they are helping us on multiple levels!
I started a new blog yesterday, called: MusingsofASolitaryWitch.wordpress.com, and it perhaps will be my fun and crafty site; something I’ve kept in the dark for VERY long, but something that truly has helped me all these years, as I integrate reiki, intention, working with angels and prayer in every practice, and only have the intention for love, light and healing with every practice and for anyone who chooses to ask me to craft up an intention ritual for themselves.
My other blog with lots of info on all World Religions, as well as some of the beautiful mala’s I have acquired is here: Universal Wisdom. I placed a new post to my Tantra Blog yesterday as well, about the wonderful crystals, and especially some for the chakras and kundalini! AwakenToLiving.com.
My intention is have my rent paid by Wednesday, and I KNOW it will happen. I surrender and let go!
Are you calling your friends asking for advice?
Have you seduced him or her on multiple occasions with little response or wake up from them?
Are you tired of rejection?
Do they always have excuses and are NEVER in the mood?
Perhaps there’s another reason they are shut down. Perhaps there are deeper core issues that need to be dealt with. You love them, he/she loves you, but the little amount of fondling, caressing or stroking of your hair is getting old. You want some connection. You want someone to love you deeply. You want a tantric partner; not just some 10 or 15 minute quickie. Where is he (she)?
You try playing with your toys, you go out with the girls (or the guys), you are ALWAYS in the mood and he just drops dead when he comes home.
Perhaps this is you: “I don’t know what my intention is and I don’t know how to figure out what it is.” Here are some possible scenarios:
1). You are married and are feeling completely disconnected from your wife. You want to connect to her but you don’t understand why she is disinterested in sex with you. You’ve tried everything you can think of, and your struggling in your mind about what direction to take. You’re feeling at a loss and completely dis-empowered in your marriage. You love her deeply, but don’t feel as though you’re getting through to her.2). You are single and alone. You are feeling very lonely, although you are afraid of letting yourself be open to a new partner. You’ve been deeply hurt in the past, and you are afraid to be hurt again. You feel as though you tried as hard as you could and the partners in your past didn’t appreciate you, or recognize the good things you offered in the relationship. You feel fed up, frustrated, hurt and alone, and you are looking for a way to change how you behave in a relationship, the pain from the past, and your ability to be open to someone new.
3). You’re in a relationship but are feeling completely frustrated and dissatisfied… continued on site.
See more at my Tantra site AsttarteDeva.com on the page Intimacy Coaching. For men or women!
(Old Post to be edited)
There are some of you who have been followers of my writing and work for some time, and others who are just meeting me for the first time.
I made a decision recently to separate my work as a Spiritual Healer, Yoga Teacher, Shiatsu Massage Therapist & Emotional Release techniques to a new site that is completely separate from this one. My BeingInBliss site was intended to be a Spiritual site, however, most who found me there, still wanted advanced tantra teachings and healings. Perhaps it is not possible to separate the two worlds, however, in this new awareness, I am attempting.
Everything that was on the BeinginBliss site still exists, however, I imported BeinginBliss to AsttarteDevaYoga.com since it was very rare that true spiritual seekers found me there. Those who find me and ARE interested in Spiritual Healing, now can feel safe and trust that that is what I will offer, will know they all end up back to the same place.
Like someone said a couple weeks ago, it is not easy to tell someone who is an Interfaith Minister the same things you would say to a Goddess Tantra Healer. And, I agreed. The worlds are quite opposite, however, in Tantra, nothing gets left out and the more skills you have, the more there is to offer. And, thus, I will be adding some of these gifts to the Tantra site, but keeping it focused to one page, with parts on other pages, rather than 10 pages of deep details as I had before.
The breath to stay in the body is a very powerful tool. Most people don’t know how powerful it is until they embark on a Yoga path, start doing Breathwork, receive energy healing sessions, or begin the Advanced practices of Tantra.
Often when someone is receiving a massage, it is not the massage that is completely relaxing them, it is the massage that creates a stimulation in the body to remind the person to come into the body and to take deeper breaths. Ultimately, from taking these deeper breaths, this then is what causes the person to be able to have a fully relaxing and blissful experience during the massage. However, some people who receive massage, may have the most skilled and advanced practitioner working on them, but when they do not breathe properly, are holding their breath, or are not guided in breathing deeply when they may need to, their experience can be rather dull and they may think it’s the practitioner who was not very good, when in fact it was in their own creation of not using their breath to its maximum potential.
When I work in Session with my private clients, I often remind my client to breath deeply. The breath can be a means of escaping the body. Many times when someone is holding their breath, forgets to breath, or falls fast into a deep relaxation when we are doing powerful breathing exercises to raise the Kundalini, or to allow for a deeper sensation of pleasure, this means that there is something blocking the person from going deeper into the practice. When someone slips away from the breath, it is often a slipping away and out of the body as well. This happens when there is a deep emotion, or issue that is ready to come to the surface and wants to be released, but the individual does not know how to deal with it, and instead reacts by suppressing it further and pushing it down, by not breathing or breathing shallow.
By escaping their own body, they are also escaping the fear or pain of what wants to come up to be released, energetically moved or cleared for them. This fear or pain often is unknown of. It doesn’t necessarily need to be something you even know what it is, but when a numbness in the body, or detachment from the body by slipping into shallow breathing happens, this is the exact time you need to be conscious of your breath and begin to breath with more awareness and attention to actively breathe deeper.
Why is being in the body something you want to work towards? Because you will then get to release the block in your vibration, your mind, your emotions and your entire energetic system, and this then will allow you to move into deeper presence in your own body, experiencing pleasure, sensations that you could not even feel before, and an opening in your heart and the ability to love others and receive others more deeply. Doesn’t everyone want to feel more of what they are capable of? Why not let go of what is keeping you from experiencing bliss and allow the breath to be your tool to access it!!!
This is what I teach in my private Sessions. Why not try it for yourself.
I’m planning to write articles for magazines. I’m in the preparation zone and preparing my mind, body and spirit for the big transition. I’m also painting and hope to create spiritual works of art to add to my writing, as well as singing; which I hope to one day replace the music I love of Donna De Lory and Deva Premal; with my own music as Asttarte Deva. I have a website in the works, that I am building at the present and hope to be done by Christmas. You would love the new site. It is a compilation of spirituality, energy healing, metaphysics, readings, poetry, bodywork, AND the big subject of Tantra. It is a long term goal in putting this together, and my hope is to eventually have it available for music, books, art, tantra dvds (that I create – reason why it’s a long term goal) and other products as well. The site is through a template that I may need to switch over in the future to something bigger and more professional, but it is a good start. http://asttartedeva.com
I’m working 3 or 4 days a week and have to take advantage of that small window where I can work, relax, or go out. We are our baby’s main babysitter right now; the father and I, and we have chosen this for many reasons; one is that we want to instill as much love in this little human being as we possibly can while it matters the most.
I’m taking a Yoga Teacher Training now. I literally signed up for it this past Thursday. I had been thinking about doing it all summer. I was inspired during a beautiful kirtan gathering at Main Line Yoga in Ardmore. Singing in kirtan is one of my favorite things to do, and being a part of the energy of love/God, creates awakenings in my spirit and soul, and in that moment, my guidance was communicating to me strongly that this course would be perfect for the next level of my development. The teacher training is called Yin Yoga, and it is an extremely powerful form of yoga for moving chi in the body; stuck chi, stagnant chi, and becoming more alive in the body by transforming the energy of emotions and physical blocks. The main focus for the course is moving the energy in the meridians such as in Taoism or Chinese Medicine. There are also a lot of key connections in the Yin Yoga Teacher Training related to Ayurveda as well as Tantra. It is a good balance for the Shiatsu Massage and Jin Shin Do Bodymind Acupressure training I have already done (as well as Yoga and Tantra) and reconnects me to that subtle, yet powerful form of healing through movement of the body, breath and energy of chi. Yin Yoga is not for beginners, however, beginners can use it to enhance their Yoga practice, or to help open the body through a subtle, calm, yet powerful practice. I look forward to the new calmness and spiritual connection to source this has already begun to create for me, and the new revelations it will offer for me in my work.
Blessings to all!
During the moments of quiet within each breath and the whispers of every second, remaining still becomes presence, and holding space is all that is. As I sit and hold space for my clients, I remember how tranquil and beautiful it feels to be still and present. And in time in sessions this beauty and presence feels like it could last for eternity. Being present is a meditation and a joy to achieve, and although it sounds simple to attain, for many it can be very difficult. And so this is where tantra practice comes in to achieve this balance and doing this with another allows the attainment that much easier. Offering the sessions to another allows the mirror to be reflected; the love you put out comes back to you, the peace you put out comes back to you, and the presence you put out comes back you. Anything you give is received and offered back as love. And so in being still, we create this miracle together.
It has been a couple months since I’ve offered sessions from after the birth of my beautiful baby.As I return to my practice and the sacred art of healing, by giving of service through sessions, I return to what I love and remember the beauty of being still. As I give to others, I also receive and in teaching meditation and love to others, I also reach the still place of meditation and love in my own self. This gift of giving can be a miracle; not only the miracle of healing to others, but also the miracle of healing oneself.
I only know the depth and immensity of what healing can do for others by how deep it has impacted my own life.My own testimony to how much I have transformed from all healing paths that I have been trained, received healing, and have had experience in some way is the only way that I know how intensely powerful they all are. However, you must be truly willing to delve deep inside in order to come out of your own shell like the butterfly blossoms from its cocoon.
As we become still in moments that feel challenging to slow down our body, and slow down our mind, this is when we can truly transform and open our hearts to a more serene place of love. And in being present to others we are also present to ourselves. And, in Tantra, this is healing in a universal way; helping the self and helping the other as the circle of energy makes its way around; from you into them, from them into you and continues this cycle again and again until you choose to end the practice. The energy cycles and circulates from one to another and presence remains while love grows stronger and healing blossoms from within. There is nothing more beautiful and miraculous than this. Slowing down is the biggest key to healing; whether it is tantric healing or any other form; practicing presence is all you need.
Without the energy of love, intimacy cannot happen. Allowing the sessions to move into a space of trust, respect, kindness, and presence allows the love to flow; and in essence the intimacy can be built on from here. Without love, intimacy cannot exist. Without love, intimacy is false, and based on control or fear. The only way to move energy and connect with another human being and oneself is through kindness and the presence of love.
Many people try to rush intimacy or expect it to happen without moving their own energy, or the energy of their beloved. Intimacy cannot happen on its’ own. It must be built upon, the energy must be cleared and connected, and calm kindness must be present with acceptance, stillness, and an open heart.
Many people have desires for gratification. They want pleasure and to be stimulated. However, gratification, pleasure and stimulation cannot happen just by itself.Gratification, pleasure and stimulation cannot happen without making an effort to work on the energy it takes to create the love that’s underneath the desire and pleasure. There is no quick fix. There is no instant satisfaction. Love cannot happen without putting your heart into it.
All sessions are based on love and true presence. If you want a quick fix, or are looking for sex, and cannot see the value of presence, then I am not the right practitioner for you.
I am Asttarte. You may experience feelings and emotions that are uncomfortable for you. When you are in my presence there may come an experience where you feel emotions that make you feel uncomfortable and you are not familiar with, or you do not know how to handle. As you spend time with me, I become your mirror. I may mirror different issues within you that come to the surface because they need to be released and healed. I am not here to judge you or criticize you. I will accept your feelings unconditionally. If I notice any anger, frustration, irritation, control, resistance, or sadness then I may suggest for you to do some deeper breathing to help you move into these areas. I may also suggest for you to do some emotional clearing with me. If you are not able to feel comfortable in following my guidance, and do not allow yourself to go into these feelings, then you may not experience the session to its full capacity, or walk out confused and possibly dissatisfied.
I am an empath and sometimes feel feelings you are experiencing, as this is one of my many ways to help you. I use this gift as my guidance to support you in taking your journey to the next level.
My biggest wish for you is that you allow yourself to be vulnerable with me, so that I can help you in the best way possible. My sessions are based on love, and this love may be all you need to experience true bliss within. I am a guide and a support, and I will always do my best to support you and help you in any way I can.