Orgasmic Meditation – to be performed at a live presentation Friday night
Intention: A gentle meditation practice incorporating breathing into the belly and expanding the breath throughout the entire body. Orgasmic Meditation helps to ignite pleasure in the body, feel peace, but also bliss. It is a guided meditation to channel sexual energy throughout the body, clear energy, and raise sexual and spiritual energy.
Grounding and Shielding: You will find yourself a seat in the room, choosing to sit upright or laying down on a pillow or blanket. You will start with breathing into the belly, breathing in the nose and out the mouth. Feel your connection to the earth, but also your body and the energy around you. Notice the frequency in your energy field. Get present to how you feel, and breathe that knowing into your belly, exhaling out the mouth to release any stress you feel.
Balancing: As you feel deeper into your body and feel more comfortable with your breathing, you will start to inhale in through the top of the head, and exhale the breath down the legs.
Intention and Declaration: This practice is a connection to your deeper self. Whatever intention you have is for your personal awareness. Examples are: love myself deeper, love my partner deeper, clear myself of stress, remove stagnation or armor, open my heart more for giving and receiving love, gain the ability to make love longer, etc.
Completion and Grounding: As you go deeper into your breathing process, you will forget you are sitting in a room with other people, you will enjoy the pleasure of your breath, and appreciate your body more. You may have a mini full body energetic orgasm. This is a short practice compared to the amount of time I normally guide someone through this. However, you will gain a taste of the possibilities this provides, and if your energy is open, receive incredible joy from the process. As we come to a close you will breathe slower, longer, and more gently, exhaling into the earth to connect, get settled, and ground.
This is not a chakra meditation practice, but a kundalini meditation to help bring opening throughout the chakra channel, removing blocks along the central pathway of the body, and inhaling to increase the sexual energy flow, and exhaling by bringing the sexual energy down to ground.
It helps to bring awareness to how open your energy is, and also is a practice that can be learned to do on your own. It helps with erectile dysfunction, healing the prostate, elongating your love making experience and strengthening your sexual muscles for health, pleasure and multiple orgasms. Great for men and women!
Couples Marriage Coaching
I’m thrilled to announce I’ve been doing more Couples and Marriage Coaching Sessions! Some couples choose to come see me separately and one on one, and some choose to see me together. While, I am great at one on one coaching, I am even better with couples! When someone comes to me privately, my focus is on helping the individual, and all the issues they are dealing with. However, not all the issues may be obvious when they come alone. I only see one persons perspective this way, and will always take to their side. When they come together, my goal is to support both individuals, and I have a bigger picture to work with, and an awareness of whats going on from both perspectives, and hence, a much bigger understanding of the healing that is needed.
I then pick up on the joint energy between the couple, the joint patterns, the joint triggers, and all the work that is needed to heal a relationship can be done right there on the spot. I still start with a gentle breathing or meditation practice, then move into coaching for each individual, and conversation of course will happen for both sides; taking turns. We may move into forgiveness practices, acknowledging the other partner, eye gazing, breathing together, and emotional processing that is needed for each person that is at the core of the feelings inside of each of them. If we can move beyond all of these practices and the issues have been resolved, then we can move to the next stage of healing for your beloved and your relationship.
I still teach Tantra and Spiritual practices, however, they come after we have sorted out the major obstacles that are keeping your relationship separate or distant. Just like private sessions, working with the couple, both parties need to feel like they have gotten the support they needed, and each persons feelings are taken into account, as well as each persons individual issues and triggers. If the issues go beyond my abilities as a Coach, and the person needs more clinical help, we will discuss how I can be helpful alongside this, to continue the growth and healing of the relationship.
Both people in the couple must want to heal their relationship in order for the relationship to improve. If only one person wants to heal, and the other does not, we will address that in session. Or, if only one person thinks the other needs to work on them-self, and the other does not, we will find out if this is true, and how one in the couple can help the other to heal or grow. Sometimes, the support of just knowing your Beloved cares about you and wants you to be happier and feel better, and being a witness to your growth is all it takes. And sometimes, this inspires the other person in the relationship to realize they need to look at them-self too!
The cycle of making the other partner wrong is at the core of all relationships! When you can take personal responsibility for your half and how you are being with your partner, most obstacles melt away!
Viagra vs Tantra Transformation
There are many sources of what is causing your erection to not be as strong as it used to be, and if we find out the source, often we can also find the solution!
I’ve been doing tantra healing work now for over 11 years, and it’s amazing, but even more amazing is having added the tools of tantra, to my previous Reiki Master training, and Energy Healer trainings, along with Life Coaching and Psychotherapy tools. If I hadn’t had all that training, I probably wouldn’t be able to say that I can help someone with sexual dysfunction issues, or trauma stuck in his or her sacral chakra, or solar plexus, heart chakra, or somewhere else.
So what’s amazing, is that I find people who are on the fence with getting viagra, and have heard tons of horrible stories about it, and I stop them right there, and say, “Please DON’T take that stuff!” Too many bad stories about it, and way to dangerous! But what I do tell them is that I might be able to help. Most guys are looking for their erection. They wonder why they have gone limp, and often they are in a long term relationship or marriage when this happens. Most of the guys I have had success with this are 60 and younger. The guys older than this, the success rate is less, because it turns into a health issue and then we have to address the health. I don’t have as much experience of success helping it from a health standpoint, but I am learning and may take some further training so I do have more success.
However, if it is psychological, mental, emotional, or an energetic or spiritual reason, I can certainly help! Often it is one of these. For example, if you’re having trouble with your erection, but you’ve been in a relationship for a long time, most of the time, it is due to issues within the relationship, and we will move into Relationship Coaching to discuss the patterns in the relationship, or issues that might be causing some distance. If you don’t feel distant from your partner, and the relationship is going well, then it is an issue with yourself, something internal you are feeling, something you need to process and let go of, or perhaps something you need to forgive yourself for, or someone else.
Another example, if you are angry at your girlfriend/wife/partner and you are unable to get aroused, there’s your answer; the anger. Perhaps you have suppressed the anger and think you can ignore it, but then your body is telling you clearly that you cannot ignore it, by your loss of arousal or erection, then we can get to work on processing the source of the anger. If your partner has been blaming you for something, or judging you, or not appreciating or respecting you for something, and then you go to have sex with her, and are unable to get aroused, sorting through your own feelings about how she had been treating you up to this point, is what will help the erection come back.
Another option, is if you have a pattern of losing interest in being in relationship with someone, let’s say for 3 months or 6 months, and a year has gone by in a newer relationship, and the sex just doesn’t seem to be working as well as it did in the beginning, we may need to address some deeper core issues around commitment, intimacy, and the desire for freedom. This falls more into attachment styles, and if you have a tendency to be dismissive or avoidant in your relationships, and don’t know why you have lost your interest to be close, intimate or even sexual, we will look at the source of this. Often it is something way deeper than you think!
Another possibility is if you are still in love with your ex! Let’s say you got into a new relationship and perhaps at your core, were not done grieving your ex, there’s a chance that you still are in love with your ex, and the energy between you and your ex also is still attached. This happens on a psychic level, and we will then do a spiritual energy cleansing process I call Cord Cutting, to help detach you from your ex, so you can feel your own body, and experience your life from a fresh start!
To go deeper into this possibility (still being in love with your ex), let’s say you are still in a committed marriage or relationship, and you decide to open it up and have an affair or perhaps your wife/beloved is fully aware of you seeing someone else, and your body is not a match for the decision you made! Your body, and your genitals, are telling you, that you are still committed to someone else, and you may have guilt, or a lack of integrity with yourself about the new relationship! Then you may be fully ok with dating, friendly, happy, playful, and can cuddle and even have great foreplay, but when the act of sex comes around, you shut down!
Massage and stimulation won’t alter your bodies response to what’s going on inside of you. If your erection is weak, or missing all together, the answer is not a physical stimulation, or even a drug that changes your physical reaction. The answer is what is underneath your bodies response. Our bodies are very powerful tools for what is going on inside of us, and whether you are a man or a woman, it doesn’t make a difference. Your body will communicate to tell you what is going on emotionally, mentally, energetically, and spiritually. We are a spiritual body, and often the answer to a pain, or in this case, a lack of arousal, you have to look much deeper than the physical. You can stimulate for hours and days upon days, until your sore or bruised, but it won’t transform the reaction until you do the real work; whats waiting inside of you; your heart, your feelings, your core emotional and spiritual self!
There are many sources of what is causing your erection to not be as strong as it used to be, and if we find out the source, often we can also find the solution!
Much Love and Joy to your passionate journey of yourself!
Scenario: I am greeted by my ex-lover with a friendly hello. He shows up spontaneously where I tell him I’ll be. We speak in tongue with joy, ease and lightness. He asks to find out what I’m doing over the next few days, with enthusiasm, excitement, and curiosity. The next day I send information on events that look fun, and things we have in common. I hear nothing back. The day after, I send more information on very cool events, and hear nothing back. The next day, he finally responds, and says, “I never said we were definitely doing anything. I told you I may have had to work.” Now, I already had plans, but I was willing to be flexible to meet him. However, the lack of communication, being left in the dark, confused of if this person would want to meet or not, was emotionally and physically debilitating. Not in a real debilitating sense, however, a psychic one.
If someone you care for exclaims they want to get together, and leaves on that note, and then later completely disappears and doesn’t respond, its confusing for the psyche. It leaves someone in the unknown, and in a way, its how they keep their control on you. This then impacts the heart chakra. For women, and men, who care for their loved one, and were left feeling joyous they would meet very soon, but then never heard a word from them, its like giving mixed messages. The heart then is confused. The heart doesn’t know whether to be open, or shut down, out of this loved one saying one thing, feeling enthusiastic, and doing another, and being distant. Here, I will discuss how this affects the heart chakra and ones sexual energy.
When you leave your loved one thinking you’ll meet or at least talk in a day or two, are excited about the possibility, and then never hear from them, your spiritual body goes through a complex process of releasing someone’s lack of honesty. If you believe someone whole heartedly, at least to the point that their enthusiasm and encouragement on meeting was real, then you expect them to follow through with getting in contact.
However, when you hear nothing, you may begin to question:
- why you trusted them in the first place,
- why you were so excited and doubt yourself thinking maybe they never did want to meet
- question if you were confused about their intentions
- or perhaps be angry that they said one thing and did another
- or perhaps try to give them the benefit of the doubt that they never confirmed anything
However, if someone said they wanted to do something and would be in touch, and then they don’t, they are clearly lying. They are giving you mixed messages and making you believe them, to either side, whether they wanted to meet, or didn’t want to. This is insanity and crazy. There’s no reason to believe someone like this. They are in. They are out. Who knows! It depends on what they feel like, and not on how you feel or what they said.
This affects the heart chakra, and the heart then shuts down. It may shut down to this person, but also to other people when you were wide open, loving, enthusiastic and trusting, to then being confused, perhaps sad, and closing off your trust. When the heart chakra gets toyed with, has sadness, disappointment, or feels betrayed, it then impacts the sexual arousal, the root and second chakras (the arousal of a female and male’s sexual organs), and erection for men would be difficult, and arousal and juiciness for women would disappear. This type of person is possibly harmful to someone’s psyche and best to walk away, unless you are unattached, and don’t care about an outcome either way, and have a laissez faire attitude about it. If you do care, and your feelings matter, find your enthusiasm with someone who can be trusted! You never know what you’re going to get with someone who can’t follow through with what they say. And, its certainly not fun! And we do want all the fun we can have, especially for the summer! So, as they say in one of my favorite movies: “Pish, tosh!” (Throw it away!)
Desire After Being Single
What happens after you’ve spent a long time being single after a breakup? I know there are many of you out there. You end a long term relationship with someone, for very psychological reasons, and choose to be alone to get over them fully, not jumping into a new relationship out of fear of being alone. You are perfectly content with being alone, and don’t choose to get involved with someone creating what they call a “rebound relationship”. Your desire starts coming back, and you want to make the right choices with who to be with. This is more a Relationship Coaching post (that I would normally post on MyLoverMyBestFriend.wordpress.com), however, there are also elements of Tantra in it as well.
You have a craving for passion, and yet, aren’t finding partners you feel aligned with, are not a good match, or perhaps aren’t even attracted to at all. Perhaps you’ve become more serious, or want to choose more seriously, not jumping into something out of lust or sexual frustration. However, you also have needs. You are a human being. Needs for pleasure and desire are perfectly normal.
What have you done to take care of those needs? What you choose to do, hopefully is done out of healthy reasons. Some, I’m sure will go to bars, strip clubs, and some men out there even go so far as calling a prostitute, a surrogate, or sexual healer. However, those aren’t always an option, and sometimes they are not good choices.
Going to Cuddle gatherings is a great way to receive the nurturing touch you need, and perhaps find a new play partner at the same time.
Finding someone who is willing to be a cuddle buddy, or be a buddy in general is a great solution.
Finding a friend who is a casual connection and there is a attraction as well, is a great way to support that need for passion and desire.
Perhaps you want to find someone who would love to do a massage trade is a good answer.
Perhaps joining a group of something you’re interested in.
Perhaps a poly group, a swingers club, or even a book club.
And, some like to go to events such as Om (Orgasmic Meditation) through One Taste to fulfill their needs.
And others like to just hang out with friends, looking for that special someone and practice orgasms for one.
Whatever you choose, know you are not alone! There are others out there too, and you can find ways to fulfill your desires in your way, and in your own style!
Vulnerability into Pleasure
Many people think tantra is just a term and an excuse to be sexual and erotic.
That is the furthest from the truth of what tantra truly is.
The purpose of tantra is not to be erotic
But to be loved.
How is tantra a path to feel love, but not feel erotic?
The answer is, it’s both.
Safety and love must come before feeling sexual, period.
If someone tries to feel erotic before feeling safe and love,
they’re skipping too many steps ahead.
Go back a few steps, and you might end up where you want to be.
Maybe you don’t need to feel safe.
Maybe you don’t have a single bone of softness in you.
Maybe you can jump into the sexual, before the sensual.
There is a layer of vulnerability there, you are unwilling to see.
Consider every human has fragile emotions.
You might just be covering yours up with erotic energy.
Slow down a little bit, and you’ll feel love energy.
Give your partner a chance to catch up to your sexual energy,
and you’ll both be a match
And intimate love will never be the same.
Do you feel anxious, irritable or frustrated?
What is it you are not letting yourself feel?
What are the feelings that are hiding underneath the surface?
What emotions are you hiding from?
What feelings popped up in a moment, and then went away soon after?
The pop up feelings are a clue. Dig deeper.
Surrender to them. Breathe into them. Feel them.
Notice. Investigate. Become a detective to your own feelings.
Is it anger? Breathe into anger.
Is it sadness? Breathe into sadness.
It is regret? Breathe into regret.
Is it despair? Breathe into despair.
Is it joy? Breathe into joy.
Is it love? Breathe into love.
Any feeling you feel, and breathe into, will make the feeling bigger, and either move through your body and let go, or feel more love, more joy, and more pleasure as you breathe into them.
Breathing into anger, despair, regret, sadness is loving them, and they will surrender, breathe through you, drop into nothingness, and transform into pleasure.
Tantra is a path of healing.
What is it you are healing today?
What parts of yourself are you expanding?
How will you shift vulnerability into pleasure today?
No one is ever going to be the same energy level at exactly
the same time every time you desire it.
Someone is going to have to slow down and be patient for the other.
It’s never about forcing someone to meet you where you are,
But always about surrendering to meet them where they are.
Are you surrendering to your Beloved?
Are you making them feel safe, or threatened?
Are you putting frustration onto them, or love?
Can you go deeper into surrender with yourself?
With your lover?
It just might turn your frustration into bliss.
Don’t forget to breathe.
The breath is the key!
It is your vehicle. Your teacher. Your friend. Your lover.
Your life force. Your heart. A connection to your soul
Something SO much bigger than you.
It is your gift!
And you have it with you all the time.
Note: Read this again after meditating, and it will make more sense!
Bubbles, warm water, and lavender oil await your longing feet to be touched, pampered and adored for an hour of intimate bliss and love! To be touched, and embraced with kindness opens up the heart, clears ones energy, and allows one to surrender into the experience of receiving; being nurtured, pampered, appreciated, respected and offered unconditional love.
I love watching someone melt, and relax in peace, knowing they are in safe arms, cared for, and can surrender their true feelings. It is fulfilling to give the gift of love, and be received with gratitude that they allowed you to help release their stresses, sadness, or anxiety, and opened their heart.
Sacred Foot Massage is much more than a massage. It is a full body experience of bliss, energy cleansing, pampering, and opening up to the greater gift of ones own heart, as the heart melts its fears, worries, concerns and stresses, and can relax into the unknown, as though time was nonexistent. A true healing experience in formed, and with delight and trust, sometimes ones heart opens even greater and tears of love release from the body, as the stress leaves and changes form.
The opposite of stress and anxiety is bliss. As the body shifts the stress, it opens up to a kundalini wave of energy flowing that takes over and manifests as bliss. Bliss is a full body feeling of pleasure, however, pleasure does not necessarily mean sexual. It can mean a spiritual cleansing of ones own energy center. In many cases, however, orgasm manifests, and takes over inside and outside, as deeper breaths rise, energy expands and love abounds!
Sacred Foot Massage includes a consultation/coaching part of the session, discussion of current or recent issues, blocks and obstacles, and desires of where to arrive/goals to achieve. Then the session includes a hand to the heart, guided deep breathing, and then getting ready to soak the feet in a tub of warm bubbly water. Then massage is experienced on one foot at a time, dripping water to the rest of the leg, and massaging the rest of the leg. Then the other foot and leg is done. Often a blanket will rest over the upper part of the body, with a pillow behind the persons head and room to stretch out as they relax deeper. After the feet are done, deeper massing into the thighs is experienced, and then more of a sensual nature massage takes form. As the person surrenders they may experience full body orgasm, and as they come to rest, I may rest my hand on their heart again, or put my arm around them to allow them to surrender into the bliss and love just received. Sometimes it takes a moment to get grounded and integrate from this experience, so I will sit with them and hold them until they feel settled and ready to get up.
This is an example of one of the Spiritual Tantra Sessions I offer. There are many other examples.
Much Love and Blessings,
How All Sessions Go
No matter what you’re looking for, no matter what your focus is, your goals, intentions, or needs, or “program” you feel fits you best, we will always have a conversation and coaching part of a session, prior to anything else. Before meeting, we will have a pre-screening process to determine your level of spiritual experience, interest and what your next steps of spiritual growth are. Then we determine if we are going deeper into a spiritual healing session (which always precedes any tantra work), or if we are doing more of a Coaching Session, which always precedes any Sex or Intimacy Coaching as well.
Even if someone is coming for health reasons, holistic healing, general massage, or emotional healing (such as grief work, anxiety, depression, anger, a break up, a death in the family, a challenge with their relationship or their sexual concerns), we will still have a coaching aspect to any session.
If someone comes for Erectile Dysfunction, or Pre-mature Ejaculation, we will still have Coaching and/or Counseling prior to any Session, to determine if it is energetic and emotional reasons, or health related, and the best approach to take.
If someone comes for Intimacy Issues and is manifesting the wrong partner, we will go into Coaching, to determine what the pattern is, the history of all relationships, the types of relationships manifested, and the common theme of what all the issues in those relationships come up. We may do emotional healing or energy clearing to release the blocks to the previous partners, or go into a Cuddle Session and Chakra Healing work, however, Coaching and all sorts of talking is part of the session, and is addressed in the same session.
Prior to any hands on or touching aspect of any session, spiritual healing work takes place. Often it is a meditation, chakra clearing session, or a tantra meditation, however, there are other tools used prior to hands on work that may be needed, but it is not determined what is best until after meeting and the issues that are important to work on. (And, if a talking aspect to a session is needed and takes a larger amount of time, and then a spiritual healing is needed after, a longer session would be recommended, or multiple sessions to get all aspects covered).
Sometimes Reiki or Aura Clearing is needed in order to do any hands on work. Reiki energy helps moves the energetic blocks and frees up the space around a person so they radiate a higher frequency. The energy around a person is often more significant then their physical body, and any layers that are guarded or heavy will need cleansing before physical touch and closeness. If someone’s energy is too heavy, too chaotic, anxious or fear based, I will either suggest seeking solely Spiritual Healing (with myself or another practitioner first), or a professional therapist to do emotional healing work (or they can work with me on this level also if they feel comfortable). Then after these layers have been addressed, we can move into more physical healing work.
The page Spiritual Healing Coaching talks more about healing the aura, energy body, and spiritual healing. Every step counts and one leads to the next layer of creating a full body experience of bliss, joy, and profound peace and satisfaction!
And even working on healing the emotional layers of a person, can certainly and DEFINITELY take one to joy! Underneath all challenging feelings is love, and no matter what lays on top, love is always waiting!
Slow Sex is Best
Sex, sex, sex! Everyone loves to talk about sex! But sex to one person may mean something completely different to someone else. To one person it may mean going out to dinner, having a few glasses of wine, and coming home to jump in the bed with their hunny. To another, it may mean to stay in, put everything on hold, and do it right there on the spot, spontaneously wherever they feel like it. And to another, it may mean slow foreplay, lots of intimate massage, then taking as long as possible before removing their external articles, and moving as slowly as possible after.
Most people, and in particular, most guys, think the faster the better, but that can’t be further from the truth. Guys, and women too, feel a peak of desire, and want to rush to feel some form of satisfaction. They crave the feeling of pleasure, get impatient and even become aggressive with their own body. They almost in a sense, are taking out that sense of impatience and anger on them-self, for having waited to be intimate, and don’t realize that the slower they go, they more healing, nurturing and joy they experience within. And, too, the slowness creates an energy flow, the chi, and taoist energy movement, that allows even an emotional connection to their body, feelings and experience to take place. Sometimes, the slower, the more sensual and the more emotional. Often, there is no healing without slowness, no emotional connection, no vulnerability, no sadness, and also no electric orgasm either.
There are many vibrators out on the market, and many of them, have a speed that is much too fast to allow the person to have a true tantric emotional connection or healing experience. These ‘toys’ are targeted more for people who are unable to orgasm without them, and all too often, they over-stimulate a woman, creating a somewhat dependence on the toys, and it sets the woman up for being unable to have any pleasure or release with her own partner (or herself for that matter). She then needs the toy after being with her partner, and then her husband, or boyfriend, etc. feels left out, unloved, not included in her pleasure, and it sets him up to feel failure as a lover; which is probably completely off base. She just trained herself to received pleasure from some foreign object, and can’t experience pleasure without it. Guys, it’s not your fault!
However, there is hope! Women can retrain themselves to slow down, and men can feel the satisfaction of connecting with his sweetheart and beloved deeply once again! First, I’d like to say, is that it IS possible. You first have to put the toy away. Hide it in a trunk, or the attic for a while. Try something different. Try slowing down, breathing, working with your own energy, your own breath, a gentle touch, and let your emotions come to the surface. It will create a spiral and circulating effect of self love, love for your partner, and a connection much deeper than two people experiencing a superficial orgasm at two separate times and in two different ways can ever do.
If two people in a relationship, are both desiring to be sexual, get close, but one is angry, another is frustrated, depressed, or experiencing anything other than love, fast sex often seems like the quick solution to connect and attempt to make all those feelings go away. But, those feelings don’t go away, without acknowledging them, truly feeling them, being with them, and loving them into disappearance.
Slow sex, and slow intimacy is the only way to truly acknowledge your partner, love him or her, and create a connection that is worth experiencing. Why rush when you can have so much more?
Arousal as Energy Movement
What happens after a relationship ends, or you have taken an enormous amount of time to be alone? (The relationship might as well be over if that’s the case). And definitely the case if your partner had a fear of intimacy. (Search the keyword Intimacy for more posts on this topic).
What happens to your body after you’ve gone through the grieving and letting go process, and you’re ready to start dating again, or having an interest in connecting with others after all that time?
What usually happens, is your body will start telling you that you are ready. It will have desires with certain people you are attracted to, or give you sudden urges and nudges to push you to talk to someone. But what happens when you’re by yourself, and you are starting to finally open up again after all that time alone? Your body may have waves of energy movement, or jolts of sudden arousal. It may feel orgasmic, but then when you go to pleasure yourself, you may still feel certain blocks to experience a full body experience of arousal, i.e.. orgasm.
The arousal is your bodies way of telling you that you have gotten through most of the grieving process of your ex lover (husband, wife, etc) and it has achieved a level of balance, equilibrium and harmony of energy and wants to move to a higher place of joy. You completed the cycle of sadness, solitude and aloneness after the hard core break up. You took the time you needed to rest, recover, release anxiety, stress and sadness from your previous beloved, and now your body has awaken, and it wants to wake you up to match how it feels.
It can happen anywhere; your kitchen while you are cooking a meal, your car while singing to a song you love, cleaning your home, reading, talking to a friend, or even meditating or taking a bath. When your body is ready to open to a higher level of pleasure, it doesn’t matter what you are doing or who you are with. It will move and rise within you no matter what!
If you talking to a friend in person or over the phone and you definitely don’t want that friendship to turn into something different, be careful! You may want to hang up the phone or leave the current situation to allow your body to experience how it’s feeling. Otherwise, that friendship might just turn romantic pretty quickly!
If you want the friendship to turn into something else, and your friend had been waiting for you to be ready and open, awesome! Or, you are neutral and don’t care if this person will remain your friend or turn into something else, that may be time to have a discussion. However, if you have the discussion on the spot, changes will happen almost dramatically! A more rational stand would be to walk away, take care of yourself, and then talk to your friend later after the feeling of sexual arousal and frustration has calmed down.
I’ve discovered a practice called the Deer Exercise for women and men in my recent search on this topic. This is a taoist energy practice to help move and awaken someone who has been suppressed or shut down for a long time. If you are no longer suppressed and feel the energy already excited, this practice may actually just balance you and help release some of the pent up sexual frustration, and perhaps help you relieve the sexual frustration a little easier. However, I find the Shamanic Breathwork and Tantra Meditations to be more powerful. Whatever you choose is your choice, and your body will let you know what is best!
Feel free to give the Deer Exercise a try. Who knows it might help! If anything it will help keep your energies open and your body in overall health and vitality! Enjoy!
For men and women:
I am so utterly and deeply grateful for this past weeks experience, of heart opening, divine inner union, peace and love, and deep connected healing intimacy. As a practitioner, I too, need nurturing, love and connectedness from those who are not my followers or clients, but also to those on a personal intimate level. It has been near one year since my Beloved and I parted ways, and I knew this time, it would sadly be the last. I’ve taken this past year in grieving, letting go, and doing what I could to heal my heart. However, the experience this past week took me over the edge of that heart opening in a way that has been needed for perhaps years.
I went to a spiritual retreat, one that had similarities near and dear to my heart. I’ve been going to see Amma since 1999, however, this event, was unique. Not only did I get to experience the love, kindness and healing of the guru who was leading the retreat, but also got to experience a connected love with a special being who was at this retreat. Perhaps we were breaking a rule, in connecting on an intimate level, however, my heart was screaming yes, and my spirit was leading the way. My soul made the choice to follow this feeling, and in doing so, my heart got to receive a deep connection of love that had kept it guarded for many years. A being who shares love, without concern, without judgment, or body armor, and can just be in the moment, listening, with presence, being intuitively guided, and following his own heart, speaks loudly to my own being. To be touched with divine presence, listening, and an inner knowing, left me speechless, and in absolute joy. My heart broke open as tears ran down my face. He had no idea how long I had been waiting for this heart connection, one that I cannot teach. This way of being must come from within. This way of being must already be known from the lover connecting to the lover. I cannot make another person learn how to be present, to know how to love without pressure, or neediness, clinginess, demanding energy or fear. Whoever, you are, you must come from a place of deep love, and this love is already a part of you. I am grateful to have connected with a being who could offer this, and offer it without expectation.
When a woman receives love in such a way, she has an opportunity to open up her flower, to open up her beauty, her radiance, her power, her pleasure and her joy. She cannot be forced to connect with another. She cannot be expected to be wide open immediately. She must trust her inner knowing, her instincts, and her truth. In this, an expansiveness arises and healing returns!
He inspired me to let go of worry, and write a book about a topic most definitely needed. I am jumping on this creative passion right now!
Really! Another bulk email like this? Yes, it’s called a summit. There are a group of amazing professional practitioners, Sex Coaches, Tantricas, Relationship experts, Healers, Authors, Speakers, and others on the group. And you’re getting an opportunity to listen to them all for free!!!
This is what my interview video will be about (aired Sunday):
Intuitive Tantra Energy Awareness
How do you raise your own energy awareness when it comes to your sexuality?
How is sexuality and Tantra related and how do they help each other?
If someone’s energy is low, and their sexual energy is lacking, how can one clear or transform it?
How can Intuitive Tantra help someone heal?
What if you’re single, a parent or in a unique relationship status situation, can Tantra still help?
What’s intuition got to do with sex anyway?
How can Tantra help ones overall health?
One extra if there’s time, and (why is their so much confusion about Tantra in our culture?)
If you listen to them, you’ll be helping me out, you’ll get some amazing content and build our network. how many of these do you want me to watch and listen to? As many as you can or want to.
I have a couple answers for this question?
1) Yes, this is the season for Love and sizzling sex and it seems more and more people are crying out for guidance on how to attract it, keep it, and flourish in their relationships;
2) I want you to listen to as many of these totally free summits as it takes to get you out of whatever pain and disappointment you may have about past or present relationships…
…and to experience Deep Lasting Love inspired by unconventional, authentic, fulfilling, trusting relationships with ravishing sex through unbridled self expression that brings more joy and passion into your life with all those you connect with than ever before.
This means when a chance to participate and tell you about an amazing group of authors, teachers, and inspirational transformation experts comes around—I am going to tell you…
…. and with the enthusiasm of somebody winning the lottery!
I want you to be excited and orgasmic too.
How extraordinary would it be to attract and keep partner(s) and/or playmates with deep lasting Love and beyond imaginable ravishing sex?
MIND BLOWING, right?!
But instead of this spectacular loving experience, perhaps this is or has been you….
…or maybe this is someone you know and care about…
This person is lonely, depressed, cynical, disappointed, hurt, intimidated, desperate, apathetic, and resigned when it comes to attracting the partner(s) of their dreams.
Love and trust is lost with no light at the end of the tunnel.
We are screaming at the top of our lungs…. DO NOT SETTLE OR GIVE UP!!! You deserve to share yourself with someone exquisitely special!
There is a recipe for attracting fulfilling and trusting relationships into your life.
You can and will create deep lasting Love, joy, and acceptance with a breathtaking companion and/or playmates of your fantasies.
You can have heart connected, powerful, and scrumptious edgy spiritual sex with each other!
The amazing line-up in the Edgy Love Secrets Revealed Summit are sharing their Edgy Love Secrets to help people across the world bring true Love, sex, compatibility, and fulfillment into their lives.
I will be interviewed along with 24 other experts on this upcoming video summit, Edgy Love Secrets Revealed: Discover How to Create Unconventional, Authentic, Fulfilling, Trusting Relationships with Ravishing Sex through Unbridled Self Expression!
I am blessed to be among many of the top experts on: attracting your dream partner(s), relationship communication, connected edgy sex, tantra, and alternative diverse relationships.
I am excited about this summit because it’s a very special line-up of experts that do not come together often.
This is ALSO NOT your typical Summit. The content is edgy. It will challenge how you to look at a number of things differently than you might do now. Some you will love. Some you might question. Some of the content might seriously push your boundaries.
You will absolutely hear and learn new things, and that is worth the price of admission—which is only your time and your willingness to learn and grow and discover ways to bring more joy and excitement into your life, and keep it there. The dollar cost is zero.
This invigorating, diverse and unique summit will give you the keys to take action and attract and keep the partner(s) of your dreams!
WOW, is that evocative or what?
Many people have a story about why love and sex doesn’t work in their lives. The fabulous news is this summit is about being empowered to write your own love story with your ideal companion(s). All 25 speakers have been handpicked as the top experts by Dr. Rusty so that you can have the love(s) of your life!
Jump in NOW! There’s nothing to lose and everything to gain! You deserve the best!
I’m inviting you as my guest to experience this juicy summit for yourself and attract authentic Love and partnership.
Isn’t it time to wake up in the morning, glance over at the most amazing person you have ever experienced and gush with Love and appreciation….
…Only to discover in that same moment they are looking at you and feeling exactly the same way! BREATHE!
IT’S TOTALLY POSSIBLE!
Click here to register for Edgy Love Secrets Revealed Video Summit and bid a final farewell to living without a special companion, best friend, and scorching lover(s)!
Gratitude, Love, and Light,
P.S. Sign up now and get free gifts and/or spectacular one time offers from myself and the experts! Each day you will receive a new link to the different speaker interviews. Remember it’s all FR&E!
Sex and Sadness
How can you feel passionate and sexy when you’re sad? How can you open up to your sexuality when you are grieving a loved one who died, or a family member of yours is very ill or hurt? How can you feel sexual when you and a partner recently broke up?
Opening up to your sexual essence is nearly impossible when major life events show up. Even one of these events can take someone down a downward spiral for months, but all of them at once seems like a Tsunami of change and where something major is happening to teach one a lesson, or to help grow towards greater enlightenment. I am talking about my personal life, and using it to help others. One of my dearest and best friends passed away recently, and her viewing was in fact on my birthday this year. It blew me away to realize how someone so young could move on. Her health was suffering, and even though she was much younger than me, she struggled to get to the source of her pain. She had a history of trauma and I spent many years trying to help her. My lesson in my relationship with her, is the same lesson in the bigger picture of all of these events (marriage ending, her death and a loved one getting severely hurt). The lesson is, I can’t heal everyone! As much as I want to help people, and perhaps be their hero, I can’t help all. And, I deeply tried to help her, but she rejected me year after year. The more I tried, it seemed the more she pushed me away. It’s amazing that right before her heart stopped, weeks prior she finally reached out to me, and asked for guidance on her spiritual development. I waited for over 15 years for her to be interested. But then it was too late. At 33, she moved on, with a beating heart that stopped and her breath became silent. Perhaps it was too much for her to try to heal in her body, and her personality would not allow it. Now, she can heal on the spirit realm, and perhaps in a new body and a new life, she can heal this life.
The end of a relationship also takes a toll. It’s like a death unto itself. You have to interact with that person in a whole new way. Grieving someone that is still living is a challenge alone. You wonder why things couldn’t work out. You wonder why they refused to heal, or were unwilling to admit their own responsibility in their own choices. You wonder why they project all their anger and blame of things they did, onto you. You can question it over and over again, but mental illness sometimes cannot be figured out. And, when the other person chooses not to heal or get help, the only thing left is to grieve. Being their friend is a challenge, because you don’t know when and if they’ll try to blame you for their own feelings again. It was such a challenge in walking away this time, that I decided to write about it. And perhaps, write about the struggle. And, maybe it could help others who loved someone with a mental illness. It’s NOT your fault! It’s not my fault. My heart is as big as The Divine Mother! But knowledge and wisdom in how to deal with someone like this, helps to end the pattern of being pulled back in, when they put on a beautiful act of being nice again. I’ll consider writing more of the story of this. Perhaps it could be a short story. However, the lesson again, is “I cannot help so much that I sacrifice my life away!”
And to top it off, my father fell and hit his head! He had a concussion with delirium. He had memory loss, but only half the time. The status is, is that he’s getting better! I am deeply grateful he is getting better and I’ll find out more tomorrow how much better he is. But at the height of his fall, I was there. I visited him for multiple days, and spent 5 or 6 hours a day just sitting with him, waiting until he woke up, helping him eat, and talking and laughing. It was very healing to be with him in this way, and he would say often, “why are you crying? I’m ok!” But I didn’t feel like he was ok. I said, “But you’re different!” And he said, “But my heart is the same!” And I smiled and said, “you are right!” It’s amazing how alike we are, and how much we get along; 2 Aries and my whole life I had no idea how similar we are until now. I am grateful to still have more years and time to spend with him, and I will continue to grow in the acceptance and understanding, that I am NOT superwoman, and I cannot save and fix everyone, but a part of me, will still always try!
So, the point of this writing, Sex and Sadness….how can one be in touch with their sexuality when they are feeling sadness? Well, simply, they cannot! One has to go through the sadness, to get to the sexiness. Many people try to ignore their feelings, their sadness, their anger, or disappointment, etc and go straight to the sexual feelings. And, then they wonder why nothing sexual is happening! Well, the answer is right in front of you! You have to feel all of your feelings, the happy ones AND the sad ones in order to feel to juicy ones! Bad feelings don’t go away by ignoring them, then they only get suppressed deeper. The more you can feel your painful feelings, the more bliss and joy you can feel when they move through you and release out of your body! And, the body WILL tell you when painful feelings are there! It ALWAYS will, so you might as well go through them, and not try jumping over them! There is a much greater reward in the end when you do!
“Instead of getting on medication, for stresses, just FEEL your feelings! Then all that stress and heavy feelings just simply go away! But you have to feel deeply, and at your core, or it will only come back until you finally face yourself again!”
I’m so excite to have these amazing two individuals leading this weekends event. My dear old friend Reid Mihalko is leading and amazing Monique Darling! I am inspired to share this with all of you! If you are in the Philadelphia, and want an exciting weekend, this is it!!!
Are you on Facebook? You can see all the details here: https://www.facebook.com/events/1567572803458841/
If you can’t get to Facebook, this is the content here:
Come join us in Philadelphia as two top teachers in the fields of sexuality, vulnerability, and self-acceptance weave their diverse perspectives into a weekend retreat like you have never experienced before.
Enigmatic comedian Reid Mihalko will show you ways to simplify your life, lessen emotional paperwork, and face your fears with humor and confidence.
Monique Darling, mistress of the weave, Goddess of self acceptance, will open you to an immense playground of possibilities you had not dared to consider. And will bring together the juiciest morsels of various teachers to help you internalize the lessons to your depths, and to help you find the greatest love of your life. Yourself.
Come and benefit from the blending of their unique experiences, approaches, and insights regarding skillful communication to get to your no without fear to uncover your yes, releasing your armor and becoming more vulnerable to discover an inner strength you did not know you have, and the ability to laugh in the face of your greatest fears.
Are you ready to take an intensive weekend of FEARLESS RELATING with two of the most dynamic relationship geeks on the planet today? Come blow your mind and open your heart with vulnerability diva Monique Darling, and sex and relationship expert Reid Mihalko.
If you could have anything, do anything, what would you choose? What do you really want? What is keeping you from having it? Is someone else better qualified? better looking? more financially stable? Do you have “problems”? What if every limit you have, every chain that binds you, is only there because you believe it is? What if the limits disappear, the chains dissolve?. Your life is alive with an abundance of possibilities, opportunities, and potential all you have to do is be willing to say “yes”.
So much of the fear and hesitation in life comes not from the self, but from fretting about what others may think,or what they will say or whom they might share it with afterwards rather than being able to enjoy the moment. Another set of fears come from passed-down beliefs that we accept without questioning them.
What if you could make decisions and follow your heart…follow your body and your desires without worrying about what others thought? What if you were fearless in relating – first, to yourself and then, to others?
We all have feelings of ferocity and tenderness, but we must feel safe in order to be vulnerable and intimate with another. Part of that safety is being confident in our own ability to say ‘NO’ and take a stand for our boundaries. Only then can we play in the realm of our true ‘HELL YES!’
Come join us for a unique weekend of exploration around such topics as:
*How do we establish boundaries and create safe space for ourselves to explore with others?
*Shifting paradigms from blame, shame, guilt & judgement, to love, acceptance, understanding and presence.
*Factors that promote or inhibit intimacy:
*The power of no and boundary (understand why your “no” says more about you than your “yes”)
In this workshop you will learn, play, and practice:
To ask for what you want, skillfully, without attachment to the response.
To honor, respect, and be grateful for the answer “no”, and still be hopeful for the answer “yes”.
To be honest and vulnerable about your wants and desires without shame, without deflection, without armor.
To hold space for someone who has not yet learned these skills.
To own your fears, instead of them owning you.
To not be afraid to be the one who loves the most
To learn to be even more vulnerable when you want to isolate or close down.
Release shame and haunting memories
Modalities of communication: verbal and non verbal
You will gain tools and leave with the ability to relate with everyone in your life with more ease, grace, and blissful contentment from your own center.
Sign up for the Love Exchange $397
Save even more by signing up before
April 1 (and that’s no joke) where you get the entire experience for only $347
Or be one of the first 3 to sign up and get all 3 days for $299
RSVP HERE: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/fearless-relating-weekend-intensive-with-reid-mihalko-monique-darling-tickets-15067732995
Are you confused about dating, mating, and relating in the 21st Century?
Dating, marriage and the reasons we stay in relationships have changed a lot since the days of our great grandparents.
Join us for this humorous, frank and informative, intensive workshop where sex and relationship expert Reid Mihalko boils down over 150,000 conversations he’s had about sex and relationships and walks us through his best thinking and advice on making sex, dating, relationships and mating work!
Participants will leave this interactive workshop experience discovering:
• Tools to determine if someone is a good or horrible fit for you…
• Communication Skills to ask for what they want and how to avoid past relationship mistakes…
• A few of Reid’s and Monique’s “black belt” relationship tips and tricks!
Then, let Monique Darling, Consent Geek Extraordinaire, lead you through all of the tools, tips, tricks and how to uplevel the questions you are asking yourself and others to truly be able to find and live from your own “Hell Yes”!! Monique has been leading Cuddle Parties (just facilitated her 346th)all over the country, which are 3 1/2 hours of practicing this concept.
How amazing would it be to live life offering every “no” without apology and every “yes” without being ashamed? Learn that it really isn’t about anyone else, it’s about tuning in and taking care of you, and then you can relate with ease and joy with others, wherever they are at.
Learning better sexual technique will boost your sexual self-confidence, raise your self-esteem, and make you more confident and competent in sex and love! Being THAT kind of person is attractive in AND out of the bedroom! Part of the weekend will cover how to increase your sexual self-confidence ten-fold and start becoming a more attractive, self-expressed and fearless person in all your relationships!
Through no nudity, interactive, hilariously “edutaining” demonstrations, you will learn:
• How to use fantasy to turbo-charge a lover’s orgasm…
• How to listen to your partner’s body in bed…
• How to create your own “sexual positions decoder ring” so you naturally “think” about lovemaking in an exciting, Kama Sutra way!
•How to slow down sexual experience for greater pleasure
learning to STOP judging ourselves and our partners
•Understanding how to expand our own sexual energy and our PLEASURE Body
•Opening to Full Body Energy Orgasms
•The different stories you and others are telling about your sexual identity
•Developing Emotional and Sexual Safety for Intimacy
• 5 tips that will give you oral sex super powers!
• 3 Powerful Perspectives that will help you understand pleasure and orgasm, and how to give and receive both!
• 3 ways to use your hands sexually that will drive your partner wild AND leave you feeling more confident as a lover!
• 2 BIG differences between penises and vulvas, and 1 thing that’s the same that will make you 10-times better in bed…
• And still more!
If you ever begin to understand who you are, you could not possibly ever compare yourself to another, to envy, wish to impress, to BE different than you are. For in the beauty, wonder, and awe at discovering how magnificent “your” puzzle pieces fit together, at the ever changing infinite ways YOU shift, dance, I Need Your Love – Is That True?: How to Stop Seeking Love, Approval, and Appreciation and Start Finding Them Insteadeave together, each one so unique, so extraordinary, it would take an entire lifetime to only just begin to discover. Yet so often we abandon the quest of self discovery, to follow another, or to invest in relationships, doing what we have been told is the “right” way to be. The greatest freedom that we could ever express or imagine, is by simply giving ourselves permission to gently keep returning to us and we can transform the world by simply being 100% ourselves.
Come with an open heart and a willingness, a longing, to bring your stories into the light, so that they can stop you running away from your shadow.
There will be times, over the weekend, when the atmosphere will be sensual and energetically sexual. All activities and exercises will be guided and are always optional. You can participate in the workshop solo, with a partner and in small groups. All participants are asked to practice with each other, or by oneself, in whatever manner supports you best. Many options will be offered to support each individual experience.
set your sights on registering for this breakthrough weekend, and get a two for the price of one deal by paying only what it ordinarily costs to learn from just one of these facilitators.
So say ‘HELL YES’ to discovering ‘YOU’
Sign up for the Love Exchange $397
Save even more by signing up before
April 1 where you get the entire experience for only $347
Or be one of the first 3 to sign up and get all 3 days for $299
This weekend also includes an exclusive and optional Sat night play party!! Details when you sign up….
Please RSVP online as we often sell out!
REGISTER HERE: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/fearless-relating-weekend-intensive-with-reid-mihalko-monique-darling-tickets-15067732995
“Helped me to understand what it means to live orgasmically.” Janice
“Nothing has been the same since. I learned about my energetic self and others. Fear has passed away in my life and been replaced by curiosity” Alyson
Also please join Reid and Monique Darling for a full 5 days of classes in the PA area including a cuddle Party and Fearless Relating Weekend
Wednesday, Apr 22, 2015 at 7:00 PM – 10:00 PM : Official Cuddle Party by Reid Mihalko, Edie Weinstein, and Monique Darling : https://www.facebook.com/events/824927364216805/
Thursday, Apr 23, 2015 at 7:00 PM – 10:30 PM : Fearless Relating Panel, Speed Flirting, and Vulnerability Circle : https://www.facebook.com/events/419253751573248/
Friday, Apr 24, 2015 at 7:30 PM – Sunday, Apr 26, 2015 at 5:00 PM : Fearless Relating Weekend Intensive With Reid Mihalko & Monique Darling : https://www.facebook.com/events/1525435177738664/
Monday, Apr 27, 2015 at 6:30 PM – 10:30 PM : Rough Sex for Nice Folks with Reid Mihalko : https://www.facebook.com/events/1433050833655808/
ABOUT YOUR FACILITATORS:
Sex and relationship expert Reid Mihalko of www.ReidAboutSex.com helps adults create more self-esteem, self-confidence and greater health in their relationships and sex lives using an inspiring mixture of humor and knowledge. Reid’s workshops and college lectures have been attended by close to 40,000 men and women. He has appeared in media such as Oprah’s Our America With Lisa Ling on OWN, the Emmy award-winning talk show Montel, Dr. Phil’s The Doctors on CBS, Bravo’s Miss Advised, Fox News, in Newsweek, Seventeen, GQ, The Washington Post, and in thirteen countries and at least seven languages.
Monique Darling, San Diego, CA, Authenticity, Vulnerability and Relationship coach is the founder of Juicy Enlightenment which provides workshops and experiential play-shops in the art of Tantra and conscious loving. She has studied and taught with renowned Tantra teachers and extraordinary workshop facilitators since 1990 and is a certified Cuddly Party Facilitator. She has been featured on TLC and The Dr’s and has been interviewed by magazines across the USA. Monique is dedicated to empowering others utilizing her vast repertoire of cutting-edge teachings. She specializes is helping others reclaim their power and natural sensuality by transmuting fear and repression into courage, self-love and freedom. She guides from a place of understanding and her natural exuberance is infectious! She is available for private sessions, experiential workshops and Cuddle Parties. www.juicyenlightenment.com
She is devoted to helping YOU uncover your magnificence!!! To empower YOU, who dream of something more, to awaken further and discover it is within you. You have all the answers, let her help you remember the questions.
“In order to access your full potential of bliss,
you have to clear the muck that’s in the way!
We are all Spiritual beings living in a physical body. Our spiritual body is mostly unknown to people on the planet; except those who are conscious and on the path. It is my pleasure and joy to work with those who are on the path, and to those who are not, to learn the power and value in getting started.
I offer you many techniques and practices on this website that took me many years to learn and practice, and many more to master. It is the utmost importance to allow the spirit to be of a significant factor in your journey of reflection, your recovery to healing, your awakening to the divine, and your passionate desire to connect to others.
Bliss is not something that can be achieved through simple pleasures of the ego, the mind or the body. Bliss is achieved through connecting to something much bigger than we all are – the metaphysical, transcendental, ethereal and energetic part of ourselves that lies not only inside of us, but all around us. Achieving bliss is a state of mind through conscious efforts in connecting to our spiritual selves.
Bliss can be achieved through the body, but there are always energetic blocks that keep us from fully expanding and opening into a higher vibration that our divine being is craving for us to embrace. When we can merge the physical body with the spiritual body, we can then achieve a full body state of ecstatic bliss.
It is important for women to be treated and adored for who we are, but is even more important that the man (the main man if you are polyamorous or have an open relationship) we are with eventually choose us fully, make a decision and commit. Loving a man who won’t commit eventually wears on us and tears us down. We start to resent them, regret our choices and spend our time and lives dreading the choice we made in being with him but also torn because our core wants him to just commit fully already.
Some women don’t care about marriage, and are happy being free-spirits for the rest of their lives, but many women prefer the latter. I myself, spent the last 8 years waiting for the man I love to finally choose me, settle down, pick up the plate in his career and get us a place to move in together. As a tantrica who has been trained in the sexual healing arts, and has been giving for a long time deep healing for others, it has been devastating to be the one who didn’t get what she wanted.
Do you know what happens to a woman’s yoni when she is not being fully embraced in her love and her sexuality and supported to go really deep with her true beloved? Her yoni (womb/sexual organ) clamps down. It disappears into itself, and instead of expanding outside and being fully open, orgasmic and ready for love, her flower gets tight and hides. Many times a woman’s flower hides out of fear, or anger or sadness, but sometimes it hides simply because it is not being seen. Just as she is not being seen, so too is her yoni! They go hand and hand and together when they are supported and loved, they both also rock the world and ignite anyone who is near her!
Loving a Man who Won’t Commit and women’s sexuality are like partner’s in crime. In order to fully ignite your sexuality, choose everything that works for ‘you’, and life will bring you flowers!
Boundaries guide to intimacy, and they truly do guide one to that most vulnerable place inside us. Boundaries show up often as a guide to let us know what feels safe, how comfortable we are, to show us where our limits are, and what will be supportive to allow us to go deeper. When there has been any trauma in the past, it is particularly important to honor those boundaries, and as you do, you will then be supported to go deeper in the moment and surrender into intimacy, connection and love!
Usually when there is “any” trauma from the past, one will have very strong boundaries, or they won’t have ANY at all. It is crucial that we look at where our boundaries stand; whether being too much or too little to eventually come to the place of balance. When we don’t look at this part of ourselves and just live as though we are the way we are and don’t question our behaviors, feelings or actions, there is no opening for growth.
There are many practitioners of sexual healing who got into that field to heal their own sexual wounds, many who have had trauma, and many who have no boundaries in their work. It is important, before taking on a practitioner, that you know they have done their own personal work of healing before you can trust that they can support you and help you in yours. Many may believe they have done all their healing work, but in truth, the journey to growth never ends, and it is imperative one is open to continuing their personal work.
There are those who are not practitioners, and yet they are highly sexual, have many affairs, work in highly sexual professions. Sooner or later it is important to look at any wounding from the past, and for those who are very guarded, and really need to protect themselves to open up to love, to trust these feelings, and to allow them to help you grow.
If you’re in a relationship with a man, and he cannot honor your boundaries, allowing any intimacy in the relationship is going to be extremely difficult and he may end up blaming you for not being sexual. His lack of knowledge or understanding, or willingness to listen to your inner teacher may be the catalyst to your relationship, as you are the woman and know what feels right for you, and your guidance will allow the relationship to blossom as the two of you go deep together in your intimacy practices and feeling into each others bodies to allow the connection to blossom.
Arguments may show up as he wants to become sexual immediately, and you as a woman need to take your time and trust each moment and feeling. Your body, your heart, your sensuality is your guide, and is your tool to create great and lasting intimacy and love!
(See main Tantra and Healing site at TrueTantra.net)