As a woman who’s a survivor, sometimes things happen in our lives that re-trigger old wounds and bring things back up. Many times we think we are over something that happened in our past, but when something to another seems subtle, and to the survivor it brings back memories of feeling overpowered or violated, we are definitely not 100% over it! I noticed this in my own journey. I am a woman who has conquered much, however, sometimes there are moments of weakness, and I’m learning to use these moments as teachers, as a guide to transform yet again.
After the recent event, when I was in an intimate moment, and a man I was involved with, to him casually put a pillow over my head and I couldn’t breathe for a couple seconds, to me it was the exact thing that triggered me into my old trauma. I said in the moment, “You deserve to be smacked!” after he moved the pillow from my face, and said, “don’t take it so seriously. It was just a joke!” I said, “no, it certainly was not a joke, and not funny!” And, perhaps to some, it may have been seen as a form of Dominance/Submission, as it was only a couple seconds. However, to a survivor, you don’t treat a woman this way, as it definitely will re-activate something dormant. I was hoping I was resolved with this myself, however, it got me present to realize, perhaps I am not totally complete, and that even though I can live my life fully, when these moments happen, it is so important to seek the help one needs to help with the triggers.
Without these moments, one cannot become aware of what is hidden, and perhaps others around you see all the time. And, so I will take action yet again, and do what I myself need to do, to help, to let go, and to return to love!
During times when a woman is re-triggered into rape, what do you do? How do you help her, Or, how do you help yourself?
Things I have done to help when the triggers show up:
~Be Gentle with Yourself, don’t judge yourself as wrong for not being complete, or for having a reaction that to others may not affect.
~Do Yoga as your daily self love practice, meditate, gentle yoga and breathe!
~Call a friend, a loved one, a therapist, a coach, a healer, or if you are religious a priest/someone you trust and feel safe talking to.
~Drink calming tea
~Go for walks if you have the energy
~Rest, watch a movie or read a book if you’re tired
~If you’re a parent, let someone else take care of your child for a while to help you process
~Get flower essences, healing herbs and massage
~Journal, write, and records your feelings, your thoughts and your dreams!
~Cuddle with someone you love!
~Trust, this is just a moment in time, it will soon pass!
“Sometimes, life will kick you around, but sooner or later, you realize you’re not just a survivor. You’re a warrior, and you’re stronger than anything life throws your way.” ~Brooke Davis